Thank you for the kind words.

I'm seeing my supervisor this afternoon and I'm going to ask if I can take 2 weeks holiday at the start of June. I'm feeling sufficiently better now that I think 2weeks away from PhD will be enough to get me back on track. I can come back with a bang and finish the research. I'm not going to let a stupid bit of bureaucracy wreck me. Because I *was* feeling more positive about my research before that stupid letter.

It feels a little disingenuous to ask for holiday having received a letter saying I'm not dedicated enough to my studies. But whatever. I think a big problem is that I've been *too* dedicated and haven't had a holiday in 3 years! My mum lives by the seaside so I am going to see if I can stay there for free for a fortnight, taking my little kitties with me and leaving my computer behind.

Self-funding will be tricky, but it's not completely out of the question. I'll have to get one of those job things. Or beg the parentals.

And thanks, Thumbelina as well. I hadn't thought of getting in touch with disability services, but I will do. I'm reluctant to go on LoA. Really, I should have done that in January when I was at the lowest of the low, but I was still pretending it was fine and normal to want to be dead. Now that I'm accepting this isn't a normal emotional state I feel like I'm on the road to recovery (I frigging hope so anyways!)

One of the things I have been wondering about though, is what do you do with yourself if you're on LoA? Sorry if that sounds crass, but I'm really not sure what I'd do on a day-to-day basis if I wasn't working on my PhD!

I hope that you are feeling better now, and that research is going well.

Hi all,

In March I started being treated for clinical depression and anxiety (with SSRIs). The first dose made me feel worse, the increased dose had a little effect but I was still feeling pretty crappy. Now I'm on an even higher dose which makes me feel a bit better, albeit still emotionally fragile. I was very reluctant to receive treatment as I didn't want to believe that I was "ill". I think I have been suffering from depression but not acknowledging it since at least July 2012. Although my PhD has suffered as a result of my depression, it is not necessarily the cause of it.

I'm doing a funded PhD in the sciences. My funding is runs out in September. I am not even close to finishing the research, nevermind submitting my Thesis. My supervisor was going to ask for a 6month extension to funding, but yesterday I received a letter stating that the department is concerned about my lack of progress and dedication to my studies and I will not receive any further funding (my supervisor is FUMING that they sent this letter without any discussion with her).

Given my current emotional state, I did not take this well (I spent ages in a friend's office crying), it really knocked me off my perch. This was really frustrating as I spent last week away from my uni city with my family and was starting to feel more positive about the work that I am doing. Now I just feel like crap again.

Although my supervisor and assessor are aware of my illness, the department isn't. Obviously this needs to go on record. I am seriously considering taking a month or so away from the PhD to get myself together properly. Has anyone done this? And returned to successfully finish their PhDs? I really want to work in academia afterwards, so a PhD is a necessity.

Any help or advice on getting through to the end of a PhD without funding and with depression would be greatly received!

Thanks in advance :-)