Also, how many other guys are you buying V pressies for? I would hope that you are buying ALL your other close male friends them as well (to fit with your caring thing). This would of course make it less like you were buying something specific and special for him. In which case, what about a pen

Hmm, your situation is a little clearer now. However, you did ask what present to get, I think none is a fine answer. It does need to be justifyed (as any present idea does), hence the response you got.

However, I still think it would be less mean to not buy him anything. If he is head over heals, even the smallest thing will give him hope. You should prob help him get over it by not giving him anything. It seems a little harsh to potentially play with his feelings. Also, you suggested stationary. Is this guy into stationary? I would be a little bemused if for my Birthday or as a random present a close friend bought me stationary. Doesnt really seem very caring at all! Almost seems pointless buying anything.

Yes, I would be pretty annoyed that you let me waste my time, money and emotion getting set up for the 14th and then a few days later dumped me. Would make it much harder to get over to think that you were just 'playing along' for my sake.

If anything it would surley be harder to dump him if he buys you something REALLY nice, as you would surley feel guilty. You may also look a bit like you were after all you could get before you dumped him.

After all you may be taking over a project that is half way done, or something that no matter the result you can publish. In that case you may get a number of publications. Others may be starting from scratch, or spend half the time reading and putting together a proposal. Things may not work etc etc. They may have few or no publications.

So I wouldnt get too pent up on publications (though still aim for them). Worry if you have very few by the end of your first post doc (then time is against you).

Hmm, I think that it doesnt matter if you dont publish in your PhD, it shouldnt affect whether you get one or not. It does help, and it will help your career a bit, but a lot is down to luck, supervisor, project etc etc. I think people usually understand that you were learning, and that the quality of your work is usually more a reflection of your super rather than you (to some extent). As someone told me, one paper in nature and everyone looks at it as the supervisors paper. Two papers and then they start to thing there is perhaps something special about the student.

From the other thread, it sounds as if your PhD has enough for 3 publications. I cant beleive that it REALLY needs these experiments if it is already of that quality. Sounds a bit like they may be trying to get a bit of extra work out of you before you vanish.

Well, either that or it will boost your publications to 4 or mean you get in a higher impact journel with one of the others. Then I suppose if it is an academic career you are after it may be worth finishing this experiment.

I dont think that is true. I know people who take years (a masters is really a year out if you got a 2:1 or above and want to enter science). Esp if you take a year out doing related work (lab based). Shows that you will be more likely to get straight on with fewer problems, and also that you definitly enjoy lab work. You will prob be snapped up if you have good references.

Though I wouldnt get to pent up on Oxbridge. There are other places (what if next year none of the proposals take your fancy?)

To much DMSO can. I remember when I first started and misheard the postdoc. I put all my cells into 100% DMSO. Seemed strange at the time, but I had only just started out so felt I should just go with it. Oddly enough all the cells died. Though 20% should be ok.
You could try 10%, but I would be surprised if that did anything.

Maybe you just dont have many cells/vial you are freezing. Do you count and put a set number in? Maybe its too low (esp if viability is very low as well).

I have to say though, if you are not seeing much in the way of cell debris it seems likely that you are somehow not putting any cells in in the first place. Cells die, but they usually take a while to disappear, and the cell debris is likely to be maintained by the freezing, so you should see lots of bits of cells (though i suppose this depends on how they are being killed). What steps are you doing between the pellet and the freezing?

When you say gone, do you mean there are no cells at all (clear medium) or do you mean there is a lot of cell debris? You should be able to check before you freeze down if you have any cells present and their viability. Usually if cells were present when you froze and were killed by the freezing process you would expect to see some cell debris floating aound (I do at any rate, but these are not lymphocytes).

I havent frozen down lympohcytes from blood (I usually use them all). The cells I do freeze down I usually put in their culture medium with 10% FBS and 10% DMSO (ie just add 10% DMSO), but these are cancer cell lines. I usually get pretty good survival that way. How do you freeze them down? I put cells on ice, then into the -80 and then into liquid nitrogen.

I think it is very important to get away from it often and forget about it completely. After all, it is only a degree, not life or death. I think you do much better as well .I didnt worry much at all as an undergrad, apart from the last term of my final year. I also didnt really do a huge amount of work as an undergraduate outside of lectures and revising a bit before exams. People who spent every waking hour working (and stressing) as an undergrad did worse then comparible people who relaxed. Why should I worry for 3+ years now.

Everyone is different though.

I personally dont think it helps at all working all the time. I think a lot of people work at the weekends because they are scared if they dont they will fail. But this very attitude makes it even more demoralising when things dont work or progress is slow. Its a horrible cycle as you think you need to do more work, but nothing works, so you do more work, stress more etc. I think I make just as much progress when I dont work weekends as when I do.

I cant beleive she would resign from her job, must be as your supervisor. Is she your overall supervisor? Or is she lower down? Did she get the money for you in a grant? Or is it department funding (or self funding). If the former,I cant really see how she could resign. If department, she would surely have to give a better reason that the fact you didnt do what she wants. If self funding then perhaps she could get away with it, but again she has surely signed something to say she will look after you.

I guess if she did resign you would get someone new to look after you, I doubt they would through you out. Very strange though.

Academics, a funny lot arent they. Obviously at the back of her mind she thinks you are going to wander off and do something she doesnt want you to do, so she is threatening you to keep you in line.

I work 9-5 (well maybe a it more or less), but that is about it. I dont do evenings or weekends, although I may look up a few papers if I have an idea or there is something I need to look at.

I try and unwind at the weekends. I used to work evenings and weekends. I have to say the PhD has been a lot easier (I mean I am a LOT happier) now that I dont!

I guess its hard to do this without sounding like you are treating him like a child, or that you are much more intellegent, both of which he may resent. I guess that would be an advantage of having been diagnosed dyslexic, though I think no matter how you approach it to a certain extent it would feel like that (depends on his personality). I wouldnt push to hard (unless he asks for it).

Well, maybe once he has seen the flim he may be encouraged to read the book. Does he read newspapers? Magazines? That could be a good start point. Maybe try getting him to read something you know he will enjoy. eg, Andy McNab books seem to be a popular mans (maybe thats dads?) present and if he is into that sort of thing (army/action films) he may be inclined to read it.

Is it that he doesnt like reading as there are better things to do? Or because he finds it hard and slow going and so gets frustrated? I have to say that I dont read as often as I should, as there is usually better stuff. Once I get started though it can be hard to put down a book. If the former its just about getting him into one.