This thread and ETHOS really help. Thanks!

Hi RinaL, thank you very much for your encouragement!

Yes, it seems that I trapped myself again in the impostor syndrome. I take your advice to remember to tell myself when the symptom occur - "Okay, miss impostor, i'll hear you out after the project finished, kay?" :D

Honest friends in work indeed are important. Thank you for pointing out that. Currently I have none maybe because I feel stress in discussion (results of the impostor syndrome). I'm going to counselling tomorrow to work on confidence. Hopefully I can start discussing with some friends naturally without fear.

Teaching - thank you for telling me about it. Seems that I freaked myself out too much.

Thank you sooo much. I'm going to make this work. Wish you all the best in your whole life!

This is too embarrassing, but I feel I need help.

During my first year and second year study, my supervisor asked me to teach but I refused, because I never took the subject courses in the past. (Excuse)During my undergraduate and master studies, I was studying in a different faculty/field and what I've learnt is not necessary for the current faculty. I think it would be not good for the students if I who doesn't understand the subject teach and I have absolutely no confidence to teach.

Now other master students got the teaching, so I probably will get no chance to teach. If possible I don't want to because I thought I just wanted to try finish my PhD because I am in the beginning of my last year now. I am too underqualified and slow (honestly I just got lucky until now because the administration etc were loose with me so I got the PhD offer). I am in PhD so I should understand better, but sadly the undergrads understand better than me. I feel extremely inferior and distress even in a discussion environment.

I had my proposal defense 1 and half year after starting PhD. I also still have no published paper in journals yet. I was thinking to quit in previous years but recently I thought that even if I am going to fail, why not I try my best for these last months? I really need to produce many more results to graduate and I’m falling back behind the schedule. I want to focus on finishing the PhD but this no-teaching-experience thing really distress me. Is the right thing for me now is not to teach and focus on finishing? I still have no confidence in teaching though and I think I am going to fail my PhD.

I was going to share some of this in the Last Year Support thread but I guess this is too negative to be in there. Your advice is much appreciated. Sorry for any inconveniences.

I guess nobody here have similar problem.. (or maybe what i wrote was too dumb for a postgrad/academia/etc)

Hi Diana, thank you for sharing your story and yes, it really helps. It makes me happy that as if you are writing in behalf of me - of course I believe you are way much more wonderful than me ;) I wish you happiness especially in your postgrad life :-D

Just wondering, if anyone else here have or experienced the two-body problem? Knowing & talking to somebody who's in similar shoes might contribute to peace of mind..

Mine has been 3 years and half, probably at least another 3 years and half to go (with possibly huge debt). Both unhappy. Only 11 months left until thesis submission date and I can't focus at all. Coupled with the problem of not having undergrad basics in this field.

Honestly..help! :-D Love to hear your stories.

I think it's just a misunderstanding/miscommunication in marriage. I also experienced that. When my husband told me that he got some money from his research whatsoever, I honestly thought that it was his salary that he can (or should) use it for the family. When he explained to me that he is only permitted to use it for research and he need to submit evidence of related expenses, then i finally understood.

I don't know if it's similar - my husband also got a good job offer at a good research institute during the last year of his PhD but the job requires him to stop being a student. So the boss suggest him to withdraw from the university, as the university provides the "withdrawal with credit hours acquired" system (this means that my husband has not gotten his PhD yet but he will do the viva/defense at another time, provided that he's already acquired all credit hours required for graduation). Please take note that my husband has this choice because he already completed most of his PhD works 6 months before his scheduled viva date.
So in your case, maybe it depends on how much your PhD work left if you want to try this "withdrawal with credit hours acquired" system. Or maybe you can just take a year off. I hope this story helps. Wish you all the best, clairaN.

Hi Edgar, thanks! You made me realize that that's so true :D

Hi Dr Schmidt,
Thank you very much, you've made my day :-D

Hi tejswini, do you mean more people will contribute to more result?
Hi Eds, that's nice, hope I can feel like you too.

I know this is not a solution but i just wondering why your university doesn't allow you to change to part-time. Is it because there's no such system in your faculty/university?

Hi Barramack and BJS,

Thank you very much for your supportive comments, you've made me very happy!
I really love the part " it will be YOUR work, that represents YOUR best effort" and "anyone can do this, 'yes. but they're not". Yeah you two made me realize that it's MY work, which MY best effort; yeah anyone can do this but they're not doing it, I AM.

While waiting for the replies, in my fear I somehow managed to pushed myself to do some work.. and now reading your motivation comments I'm super happy & I'm going to move forward again tomorrow! Thanks so much! :D

There's lots of these threads but anyway I would be very happy to hear any supportive comments :) It would surely help my days & thank you in advance :)

Do you ever feel that anyone can do better than you in this particular research? I always do. Anybody can do better than me. I'm not saying that out of my fear & negative emotions alone. I also just started learning this particular field during my PhD, where the undergraduate students understand the basics more than me (I can't even do the exams right compared to the undergrads).

And I only have 1 year left, & so much theories need to be researched first before moving to the applications. My supervisor is always supportive but he also said why can't i work faster & the works actually can be done in 1 year. Any bright researchers out there can do faster & better than me, it's just they're working on other topics. I cant do on my own, very slow, with very little basics (I'm not lying), cant work hard, afraid of other students & academicians blablabla..

I feel I don't deserve the funding & job post that I'll need to do because of the scholarship bond. I feel like they can fire me at any time (they're very kind, that's why they didn't fire me yet). If I fail PhD or they fire me, I need to pay all the amount they paid for my studies, which is very high that my family & I cant afford. I know there's so much great researchers out there who deserve what I'm getting now. For most people it's a blessing (that I'm really lucky), for me it's more like a curse. Of course I also feel thankful & I want to turn this from a curse to a blessing.

Any kind supportive comments would be very appreciated..

You are in a tough time.. Sure you are worried and don't know to whom you can ask anymore for help. I don't know what to advice. Let's pray, even if you don't have religion I think it's okay. It works for me, even though the solution is not given right away on the spot.

Do you have any friend/ family member that you can talk with? Even though they may be couldn't understand your situation /pain fully, it's helpful to have somebody by our sides. How about you try open up your heart to them? For me, it works. May be it depends on person. Thanks for opening up to us in this forum. Hope that you'll see hope.