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Room 101 (grumpy old postgrads)

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shelleyanne, it's a bit of a selfish comment but I'm glad I'm not alone. Do you end up spending more than you can afford too, without being acknowledged? Bills, supermarket shopping etc. I haven't received a single thank you to the gifts I bought to my bf's family since I started my PhD 3 years ago. They always assume it's him who bought the gifts so he gets the thanks I sometimes get a thank you for "choosing it". Not that I buy those things to get a thank you, but I still find it annoying.

T

Hehe just had another thought for an inhabitant of room 101.. 'Dr' Gillian McKeith!!

S

dont get me started on gillian mckeith...

S

well for my partner being in his overdraft is awful and he hates it, even 310 overdrawn! but me being the 'student' going 2k in the red was ok apparently cos im supposed to be used to it!! his parents when hes borrowed money make snide comments about me not paying my way etc which upsets me when i pay more than my share.

T

Thats really crap I bet you are tempted to put them straight!!

S

he will always be thier little boy.. and me the mean gf who stole him away..!

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but on a lighter note, I too vote for putting that woman in room 101 Tricky

R

Hi everyone, I've only just found these off the topic forums and they are much more fun!

After the last few posts, and my experience over the last few years with my future in laws, I think bf/gf parents should go into room 101. I could achieve world peace and that still wouldn't be good enough for them. I find the mother is the worst. My future mother in law insists on addressing my fiance as 'her little boy', which is quite disturbing when I've had my wicked way with him just hours before!

And when I'm trying to organise the wedding, every idea I come up with is crap in their eyes. They then have 'a word with' my fiance behind my back about how they think it's crap. Charming. And who's wedding is it again?!

R

Just have to correct that last message a bit. His mum actually addresses my fiance as 'her little BABY' (not little boy) which is slightly more vomit inducing I find! And whenever I see her she tells me how she still thinks of him as her little boy. I know many mums still think of their kids as kids but you don't need to tell their girlfriends that! It's gross!

S

hey robber, maybe her insistence on letting you know that he is her "baby" is just to make sure that you will take over that mothering role she apparently feels her son needs. maybe she is incapable of conceiving of a relationship of equal partners but rather feels that all men need to be mothered? perhaps that says a lot about her relationship to your future-father-in-law...

S

'After the last few posts, and my experience over the last few years with my future in laws, I think bf/gf parents should go into room 101'

i agree!

R

Shani I think you have a point there actually. She does EVERYTHING for my fiance's dad, even packs his clothes for going away on holidays like a little kid! She once semi-had a go at me because I expect my fiance to do his own ironing!

S

robber, then maybe you should share this observation with your future husband. after all, isn't it he who should be insulted by this attitude? his mother seeming to believe he is incapable of taking care of himself, of being a mature grown-up? if she seems to believe he is incapable of deciding himself what kind of wedding he would like, and perhaps even thinks he needs her advice on who to marry, isn't that, at the end of the day, more condescending towards him than to you?

not knowing any of the involved people personally, this is obviously just wild speculation and thinking aloud on my part, so do take lots of salt with it please

J

Our parents' generation don't seem to understand that men ought to do their share. I still remember the horrified response of my father when I told him I wasn't a great cook:

"But what on earth will you do when you get married?!"

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