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Boundaries - Staff / Students

T

i think as long as you don't get your PhD just because you are sleeping with the supervisor/professor/.., I have no problem with that.

J

I agree...not that there's much action round here.

B

Been away from this forum for a while - but reading through this thread the thing that strikes me most about whether or not staff and adult students choose mix romantically, is that it's probably none of my business!

E

That's an interesting article, and reiterates the consensus here. I was interested to see that about half of uni's don't have any policy in place, I know mine doesn't. I mean, trying to regulate consenting adults seems silly. But I do understand it with, say, counselling services, the uni. g.p etc.

Possibility of meeting some friends tomo for drinks. Dare I text the lec. tomo. and ask if she wants to join us. Would that be offensive.

Hate that the 200 word limit reduces me to text speak.

T

offensive? absolutely not.. it is fun; she will like it

J

Of course it isn't offensive; it's a compliment. Go ahead!

You're in classic "will she, won't she like me?" mode at the minute. We've all been there; exiting and nervewracking at the same time.

T

so how did she respond? sorry for being curious..

E

Nothing to report, as she didn't even turn up! A bit disappointed, but that's the way it goes. Perhaps social next week, or there is my birthday soon, so, as my friend pointed out, that gives me an excuse to text her with a purpose, i.e. inviting her to whatever I arrange.

S

so you texted her, invited her and she didn't turn up? sounds like she's not interested, sorry.

E

No, I never texted, I sent an e-mail to the usual group, as we meet up for drinks on a fairly regular basis. Her not turning up one week is no big deal.

T

hehe, you seem to be way more patient than I am..I am determined to let things go as it doesnot seem to happen. well, seems girls are more with the patience virtue

E

I think in any other situation, e.g. if said person was, say, a friend of a friend or fellow student, then I'd have been more direct a while back, and known either way. But this does bring with it a set of rather (and unnecessarily imo) complicated issues. I just have to wait until we meet socially, and take it from there.

I also know that last term, I purposely distanced myself from things I knew she would be going to. Managed it for about 2 months. That could have been read as disinterest. In fact, it was me trying to put things into perspective. If only it worked!

T

it sounds like a serious crush.. that you had to purposely avoid something.. i know how it feels; and I am just not brave enough to go through with that.. anyway, here is a good place for you to dump any bad or uncertainty feelings!

E

Part of my problem, I think, is that I like so few people in that way, that when I do, I tend to over-idealise them, perhaps building castles in the air. And the odd thing is, that for all my intensity, I rarely know what do when (if) the other reciprocates. These issues may or may not sound familiar. Whilst I do think there may be something to this situation, I do think that, on my part, the way I deal with it is symptomatic of bigger issues.

T

hehe, I literally used a dictionary to read your words.. I need to enlarge my vocabulary. anyway, I feel you are really into it. you should try a bit direct (otherwise, she may not even know how you feel). Birthday is absolutely a good excuse, but won't there be a crowd of people?..

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