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Having a bit of a crisis

M

I might ring the docs and ask for a note, just in case, she was happy to write one. Pea, I think I need to do a face-to-face as much as I'd prefer to write an email, my supevisor I think would want the opportunity to help and he can be quite useless on the phone/writing. I'm glad your friend is ok Seabird, funnily enough I've been thinking of taking up running since I kicked smoking recently. It might help to lift the brain malaise. I was talking to my husband last night, realised that aside from the events of recent that I've been pretty burned out for the past year, 3 years of undergraduate study stright into a further study has taken it's toll, on our relationship and the grey matter. Perhaps it was bound to happen anyway.

M

Hello there, well, I need your sage advice again. I went to see my DOS, we went to the cafe and had an off the record one-to-one, he was very understanding and helpful. He is suggesting I do get a doctors note (appointment tomorrow) and that I might consider suspending my study for 1-3 months or more. I'm frightened to do so but having read your experiences know it can be a good thing. What does a suspension of studies mean? Particularly as I am lucky to have a bursary from the university, does this mean a suspension of pay also? I'm unsure what to do really, it's hard to know how I'll feel tomorrow let alone next week.

S

hey MsCrow,
i don't know these things, i think you need to ask your student's advice centre or something. i would suppose that yes, it will mean a suspension of your bursary, as it is not a wage and thus you don't get sick leave. actually, i find that quite outrageous, because what are we PhD students supposed to do when we get sick? what are we supposed to live of?
on the other hand, you may then qualify for hardship funds. these tend to be quite uncomplicated and fast. look into that!
the suspension probably mostly means that your uni won't make a fuss when you're not finished in four years.
you don't know how you are going to feel tomorrow. i'd say that's exactly why you need the time out. you can't keep going if you're always scared that tomorrow will be a bad day.
good luck! i hope things look better soon.

C

I'm not sure in terms of money, did you get any info when you started-I got a leaflet from the MRC. perhaps there's a student advice, or financial office you can visit for advice.
It just means putting your PhD on hold and not working on it, which it sounds like you need. They're tricky at the best of times.
What a stressful time for you. I hope things look up soon.

M

hello again, having been passed from person to person at the uni I finally speak to someone who says the bursary would be stopped, there are no other funds available apart from some access to learning grant which isn't open yet and takes a while to sort out. I had a shitty doctors appointment with a different doctor, she didn't seem to understand the gist of my problems and just focussed on the death as something to 'get over', ignored impending work, marriage issues, breakdown. I feel like a real fraud. It's been a bad day, no work done, and it seems, little chance of taking any time off as I have bills and a mortgage to pay. Feeling a bit desperate really, time keeps ticking and I'm attaining nothing.

S

oh dear oh dear, MsCrow, I feel so sorry for you, you must be really down. it's amazing you are still "up", so to say, doing things, when it seems every little step is being made hard for you.

i suggest you take the evening "off", stop worrying about things, and get back to them tomorrow. that will still be time enough! do you have someone who could give you a hug? have a virtual one from me (((hug)))

then tomorrow: 1) see if you can see a different doctor. you are not stuck with that one just because you've seen her once.
2) check out your student's union. they might have their own hardship funds or can point you into the right direction.

S

3) although as a student, you are not entitled to many benefits, i just saw something today about benefits which you can get ONLY in case of "temporarily interrupted fundings". i saw that on www.ukcosa.org.uk in a section on benefits. that applies to international students but there might be a similar ruling for UK students. maybe someone here knows something about it or can point you into the right direction to find out?

C

Have you tried the directgov website for benefits to give you an income? (www.direct.gov.uk). You may be entitled to incapacity benefits if you are unable to work.

V

Ms Crow-I wonder why your DOS suggested you to susspend your study if it is just for 2-3 months? Can they just simply let you take things easier, not to work too much? Are you EMPLOYED by university?

K

Verdy raises an important point here. If you are an RA at the uni and your PhD is registered alongside that, you have the same contractual rights as any employee within the uni (sick pay, etc)

However it you are a PhD student full stop (IYSWIM!), there is no reason why they cannot work flexibly to accomodate your health and social needs. Suspending your studies is only an option if YOU feel that this is what you need. If you feel there are things that you can do that require no "thinking", but nevertheless tasks that will enable you to feel that you are doing something, I see no reason for them not to incorporate this strategy. It's just a matter of re-prioristing your work so that you can feel comfortable.

M

hello, typing from in bed after the most horrific stomach bug, it never rains...I will check out direct gov and anything else though it looked to me like only the access loan was available. I'm not sure whether I'm employed or not, it sounds not as though I have recommended 35 days holiday, I am not contractually obliged to stay within that. They pay my fees and give me a bursary of a grand a month, though I do a little teaching here and there which is under associate lecturship contract. My DOS suggested that a month might not need a suspension of studies, but I think for me, it does need to happen otherwise I'll end up working and worrying anyway. I can feel the clock ticking in terms of money and progress and I find it really scary. Referral letter came today, 12 weeks, what a joke.

P

Rahhhhhh! I've very nearly had it with this PhD! I had a great start in my first year but the demands of my studies and the long-distance nature of my relationship with my wife placed a great strain on my marriage which affected my work in a big way. This culminated with me and my ex agreeing to divorce at the beginning of my 2nd year, at which point my work suffered even more drastically. Then a couple of months later I got involved with a postdoc in our small lab on the rebound and I can't even begin to tell you what a mess that situation has become; it turned very sour and our supervisor/boss got involved.

M

Hello Pz, any chance of taking some time out? Sounds like you've had an unreal time recently.

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