lol i havent even submitted my thesis or even written it! and i'm worried about the viva. i should first write the thesis and submit it and then worry about revising for my viva.

but it's like past bad experiences can play havoc with your confidence.. and it doesn't help that my supervisor tells me that i write very poorly, so don't feel confident in my writing and makes me feel that i will fail my viva because i don't know anything about my subject and don't understand it, and wont be able to defend it.

---

anyways enough downloading on you guys, you all have enough on your plate as it is... but i do appreciate your help and empathy and understanding and support and encouragement...

but it's definately helped me to talk about it. i've kept it inside for so long. now that it's all out there, i feel better...

i once read someone that psychologically when you write things down, that trouble you, they no longer have that much hold on you.. that it's therapeutic to write down things that are troubling you. otherwise they keep going around and around in your head..

and also sharing definately helps.

i'm going to get some dinner now, i haven't eaten all day.. i think i will start afresh tommorow.

thanks everyone! i'm so glad i accidentally came across this forum, it's been a lifesaver

you all are so kind and wonderful!
thanks for your support.

My PhD is in genetics too, how funny is that! I'm turning off my computer now. Don't stay up too late, and eat.
BB

P.S. I just posted this on jojo's thread by mistake. It really is too late and I've had a few glasses of wine.

hi Lara

i hope you sent the E-mail to your suervisor, may i ask you what did he say? it is nice to see that you are active helping people and yourself at the same time that is very generous of you.

i hope you heard great news

Hey BB, oh cool your phd is in genetics too! we will have to use each other as a sounding board one day then! my mphil viva was traumatic! my examiner asked me questions like, how many genes are there in the genome! and i didn't know. it's been plauging me recently, so i looked it up. 25,000 protein encoding genes in the genome.

--------
Hey Reda, thanks for asking, you're so nice :)

Yeh I just emailed my supervisor, I wrote an email and got my best friend to check it and edit it, incase i was too emotional. she did just that, and I have attached it below.

Thank you for saying such nice things, I really appreciate it :)
I will try my best in writing the thesis, that way i know i did all that i could, even if i do fail. And i want some good to come out of all of this, if other people can benefit from my experiences and mistakes, than that's good :)

even though i was soooo tempted to tell him how much he upset me, and what he said was unjustified, and say that i should have worked on my thesis instead of papers. i did not... instead i wrote:

Dear *****,

I have noted the comments made in your email and I can only respond by saying that I have done my best to try and complete my thesis and it has always been my intention to complete my thesis, however, I do recognise that it is I who has to take full responsibility for the fact that my thesis is not yet complete. Now that I have this ultimate deadline, I would very much like to be given the opportunity to try and submit a thesis.

...I will work very hard in the next 3 months and am aware that it will not be easy but I have completely cleared my diary of any other commitments, and I will be writing non-stop in order to get my thesis done. I will also read and understand and revise everything that is related to my subject in preparation for both the mock viva and real viva.

I appreciate the burden and time that it is going to take you and Susan to help me with my thesis, for that I am deeply sorry and extremely grateful.

I appreciate you helping me with targets and time plans.

Right now I don't feel like I have much of a thesis, it's all zero drafts and I don't feel like I have anything concrete to show you at this moment. But I will bring it all together and produce a plan of how I think my thesis should be presented, with outlines and notes, to show you in a week's time.

I recognise that I lack the ability to write and produce high standard scientific writing which is why you and **** had to work so hard on the papers I had written, in order for them to be worthy of publication. I really do appreciate all of the work you and **** put in.

I am going to put in the hard work and become more focused on the "essential" issues, topics and subject matter for my thesis, instead of getting distracted by tangent subjects that are only loosely related to my phd subject matter and worrying about revising for my viva and instead fully concentrating on writing the thesis first.

I hope you understand that my desire is to complete and submit my thesis by the stipulated deadline. I appreciate that the task will not be easy but I have no choice but to complete my thesis before the deadline and I endeavour to do my best to produce a good standard of work.

I cannot thank you and **** enough for your support to date and look forward to your continued support and guidance.

Kind Regards,
Lara

that is sound good to me. the most important thing is to write now, more important is to know what to write about once you know tht i have no doubt that you will be able to produce 40 pages per month.

Thanks Reda,

I am doing this technique at the moment. I have a timer, that I set to 10minutes. and that for 10minutes I work on one aspect. it really helps to focus and concentrate. because even if you hate a certain aspect, you can do it for 10mins. (inspired by Joan Bolker's book)...and also Knowing you only have 10mins to spend on a particular aspect, really motivates you and focuses your mind...

what sparked it, was i was just about to work on chapter 4, and then all of a sudden i started to have a panic attack about this "extra" chapter my supervisor wants me to put in my thesis that she emailed me yesterday, but i don't like that chapter, and wanted to cut it out of my thesis, but she wants me to write it in my thesis :( i had left it for 5 months! and did not touch it. now i felt panicked that i have forgotten what the results showed and felt that it was all a mess, and i wouldnt know where to even begin to write that chapter on cgh arrays. so i told myself, i have 10mins to make a zero draft, a brief outline and look through the results for this chapter, look through my files and my rough notes from my last meeting from one of my other supervisors. cause i feel like i've forgotten what the results were.

i think psychologically, you have to do that sometimes.

i also have decided to spend this week, and spend an hour each day on each chapter of my thesis, - just making a zero draft of each, so that psychologically i feel comforted, that there's something written down, even if it's just bullet points, and just printing what i have done so far. i think psychologically i need that security blanket. and to see physically what i have done, and what i need to do.

words of comfort for phd writers.

a friend of mine recently got awarded her Phd,(from imperial college) and her thesis were only 33,000 words in total!!

and that she will soon have just one paper published on her whole thesis!

just goes to show, sometimes concise phd thesis are the best! the examiners were very impressed by her thesis, consise and to the point and well researched.

exactly.....i am from Imperial as well and my supervisor told me three stories like that at the university. you need to put in your mind that you will be able to submit and do it and i am sure you will iff you believe in it