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Lara's Writing Up Diary - inspired by Jojo

L

Miss spacey :) yes you're right, the paperwork takes 4 months. i hadn't done the paperwork because i was aiming to submit in december. so i spoke to the graduate tutor to send me the examination forms and i said, im concerned by the 4 month time it takes and the sept 1st deadline and she said, it should be fine, and that she will speak to the graduate tutor and try to sort it out for me, so yah i might get a grace of a little bit more time. but i think psychologically i will tell myself i only have until sept 1st.

thanks for your email!

L

and for the offer to help me, with regards to submission, i will take you up on that offer!

i'm still waiting for them to come in the post. i asked her last week to send them to me and she said she would.

i emailed her again asking her if she sent them, but no reply, i'm thinking of calling her to ask her if she's sent them. but dont want to come across as being pushy. besides the graduate tutor is back from his holiday next monday eeek! he's gonna tell me off for not listening to him and not writing the thesis and instead writing the papers.

L

Hi Bobby, so kind of you to ask, Yes I sent a reply to his email. I have not heard back from him yet. I am dreading my meeting with him next week, when I have to show him what i have done and he's going to shout at me, and maker me feel like i am a phd fraud and i am incapable of defending my work. i have such low confidence now, that i feel i have forgotten everything about my phd and i don't know anything and wont be able to defend my thesis. but i will carry on and work on my thesis and try to put it behind me.

L

my fellow phd friends at the lab are so supportive though. and they know the truth. and they are going to arrange to meet up after my meeting so we can talk about it. so at least i will have that to look forward to.

i have to show him what i've done. so i am spending this week , gathering all my stuff , its all crappy zero drafts. but i will just be honest, and say i had writers block for past few months during the time my dad was ill. and i just couldnt work on my thesis. i will be honest, and admit it. he will probably berate me for not being "professional" but i dont care.

L

and if he asks me where my "productivity" was from the time i supposedely had off from my ra job (which wasnt that much time, and the time i did have off, i spent working on the first paper) and then when they had major deadlines, i offered to work weekends for the ra project and i did!! to get all the work done.

and then i spent in total two years, working on the two papers, meticulously checking every single data and making sure everything i wrote was accurate, and making all the figures and changing them everytime they changed their minds, and redrafting over and over again...and reading hundreds of papers...and gathering all the literture..

because i know once i gave it in for submission, and realised a mistake whilst i wrote my thesis chapter, it would be too late. and i feel completely betrayed that he said they did all the hard work. when i did all the hard work also in producing the final draft, that they could "work on"

L


i admit my writing is not technically brilliant or posh or scientific but all the content was there. and how can he expect to be given a free ride on a paper and not expect to do any work. i have definately decided i will not stay with them and once i had in my thesis and whether i pass or fail. i just want to get as far away as possible and find something i really do enjoy. its a shame though. because i really do enjoy learning about biology. and for awhile i was tempted to stay with them for abit and do a project, but not after this, noway.

L

Jojo, that's a good idea. I will try that. Thanks.

L

Hey BB, how's it going?

ahhhh i am procrastinating. okay i have to finish off all my reading today and by the evening i HAVE to start looking at my own data and results. eeeeeeek.

okay going to try the timer method.

B

Oh dear. That doesn't sound very nice. But i guess you just have to try your best to get things in some sort of order before your meeting. I think that you should be honest with him, but also show him all the plans you've drawn up for the time between now and your submission date. I think if you show him your dedication he's likely to be more positive, and hopefully he'll draw a line under everything that's gone before, and offer you as much support as he can.

B.x

L

Thanks Bobby, i wish you were my supervisor!!! I would get so much done!!

positive thinking and support and encouragement makes for happier phd students

i am going to write an official letter to the graduate tutor, because she's not answering my emails and officially apply for the examination forms, because its stressing me out, that i haven't got them yet. and that way i will know exactly where i stand come sept 1st.

B

Hi Lara,
Today was ok, I THOUGHT I have done a fair few hours of productive work. I did some figures for my introduction and data chapters 1 & 2 while I was at uni. However, when I got back home and opened them on my own computer, they were all messed up! I'll have to try again tomorrow. I had saved some pictures is EMF format, and the inserted them into powerpoint. I think the problem may be the EMF format, so I'll try them tomorrow using jpeg. Which format does everyone else use? Is there one that is less likely to **** up?

B

I do hope you sort everything out Lara, but it does sound like you uni are less than helpful. When did you start emailing them about the examination form? A lot of people at uni seem to have taken all this week off because of the bank holiday. An official letter maybe the way to go though.

L

oh no sorry to hear about the files being messed up, i really hope you get it sorted out.

yeh i feel much better now, by writing a proper hand written letter and i posted it today. so now i just have to wait and see what they say. the actual graduate tutor in charge of me, is back at work on monday and will be confounded with multiple emails from me.. i hope he doesnt get angry realising i still haven't written my thesis.

L

oh no sorry to hear about the files being messed up, i really hope you get it sorted out.

yeh i feel much better now, by writing a proper hand written letter and i posted it today. so now i just have to wait and see what they say. the actual graduate tutor in charge of me, is back at work on monday and will be confounded with multiple emails from me.. i hope he doesnt get angry realising i still haven't written my thesis.

L

well done on doing a couple of hours of productive work!

i haven't done anything on my thesis today. just been sorting out my computer. and now running an antivirus scan, which is slowling up my whole computer, and also running a defrag file. i will back up my stuff onto dvd tonight aswell.

i will try to read some papers before i go to bed. and then work on my results section tommorow.

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