I originally used to say follow your heart.

But, OMG, I have been SO, SO badly burnt, that I dare never follow my heart ever again.

That said - i also have noted (belatedly) that there is a whole lot of paraphernalia and protocols about these things in our cultures - all things I blissfully ignored in following my heart.

Nuances such as the diffs between dating vs seeing vs going out vs relationship, or the importance of timing, or the importance of not seeming what do they say 'clingy', and then not 'smelling of' commitment etc.

I am still overwhelmed with the protocols of it all, so really have no advice to offer, except please please please don't get hurt!

I suck royally at matters of the heart and I suspect I always will. So BIG disclaimer.

If this is the guy you met recently that put you on cloud 9, isn't it a bit too soon? Sorry if tis someone else. My only caution is - u sure you wanna be the one to ask? Do so, if you're sure you havent got feelings yet. If you havent play safe and dont get feelings before anything really happens/in case they say no.

Others please for more optimistic feedback.

Oh and apart from him, this time, (i am submitting my thesis in mid May), I have requested 3 other PhD buddies to read 3 chapters each. So he reads the full thing next month and they read a third each, plus sup reads the ful thing.

Plus my mum is proofing and copy-editing it all... :-)

======= Date Modified 22 Feb 2011 16:39:57 =======
My thesis has been written in dialogue with a friend/colleague and his thesis is emerging in dialogue with me. Others read our work too, but we have become each other's regular respondents in the sense that - if I am writing and am stuck I send it to him and he critiques it relentlessly (often in a few hours) and sends it back to me with prompts to write it better and I do it as well lets say to his ongoing paper. We have entirely unrelated topics but somehow this has happened for the past year.

So

Proposition - The purpose of debate is solely to clarify minute aspects of a particular position

Opposition - The purpose of debate is to persuade/convince the opponent to change the views they hold!

Time starts now!

I'm confused??:-(

======= Date Modified 19 Feb 2011 18:04:28 =======
double post

======= Date Modified 19 Feb 2011 18:10:15 =======
======= Date Modified 19 Feb 2011 18:06:15 =======

CC, can you note the difference between the following two statements, I wonder when someone says "I am feeling ill, and someone shouted at me unfairly"

Statement 1: While I note you are ill, maybe someone had a reason to shout. Is there anything you think you may have done to provoke this? Feel better soon!

Statement 2: You have done something to provoke this shouting. It is your fault. You are using your illness as an excuse.

In both cases, doubt is expressed over the legitimacy of the 'feeling bad'. Are the cases exactly the same? If not, what's the difference?

Also might I ask CC - the same point Charls raises on the original thread recently - you cited Aspergers as a (potential) reason for your actions. has anyone (even those who are annoyed with you) said you are using your condition as an excuse for anything? If they did so, would they be fair/just/sensitive, indeed human?

Best, Bug

I think there's a point to be made about protections, protocols and agency here. Advocates for online safety etc have often used the traffic lights metaphor. Yes, crossing the road will bring you opportunities, chances, indeed it's a part of life. So - you need to be able to cross the roads, teach your child how to do so, run, drive etc. But, for the roads to become an opportunity we do need traffic lights, traffic police, a transport system which has rules. Neither can we err on the side of over protection and not go out at all, nor do we not teach ourselves how to play nice. The balance is what iis needed I guess.

Similarly, for this forum to work the way it does, we need to play nice which we all do, but there also needs to exist a protocol of some sort, a space for 'public opinion' for what it's worth, and moderation of a certain order.

Just my 2p. Internet risks and opportunities are often discussed with the traffic metaphor and I find it a nice way in which to balance individual agency/freedom with industrial/policy checks and protections, and I thought it might be of use here :)

======= Date Modified 19 Feb 2011 13:25:51 =======
Hey Olivia, Eska, KB, Chuff - thanks for the support!! Hope the mods make a decision :)

Have a happy WE guys!

======= Date Modified 18 Feb 2011 09:54:29 =======
Dear moderators,

I do not know specifically, what the rules are for removing posts or banning posters. I do know that spammers sometimes get banned and spams get removed because in some way they violate the peace of the place and the protocols around it.

The poster by the name of 'Cleverclogs' has, in the past, usually to a funny effect trolled on this forum. But I am sure there is a difference between disrupting threads with non sequitur after non sequitur and brazenly, without humanitarianism or sympathy, coming down on a vulnerable person like a ton of bricks? A person who is an important part of this forum, and who is battling an entire range of medical conditions and a depressingly stressful situation at work, through absolutely no fault of her own, is being attacked by this poster. Also, how is this different from online bullying? Online bullying is often anonymous, as we are here. I just looked up some research with online bullying, and this seems to be way beyond that as well.

Perhaps this merits some action of some sort? Just sharing a thought.

best,

Bug.

Have just finished reading a 2 page acknowledgement - YES.

Mine is a couple lines, then a small para, then a couple lines. People in this order -

1. Supervisor who is my mentor
2.Parents

**

3. Para with - gran who raised me, friends and family unnamed one sentence, project I worked on, thesis committee, funding bodies, departmental folk, participants, academics who provided useful criticims

**

4. Two sentences on my lovely friend, co-author, sounding board, philosopher. Without him, this thesis would truly not have been written, tacky as that sounds.

I was asked what my expectations were - after having known her for my MSc and been supervised for my dissertation already!

I gaped and then there was 50 mins of lovely, lovely intellectual conversation! I loved it :-)

And Wally, your link made me weep buckets of tears, in laughter!

And Wally, your link made me weep buckets of tears, in laughter!