Inferiority complex!?
Hey everyone,
I've been thinking about this for ages and haven't been able to come to a good enough conclusion on my lonesome. I therefore decided to consult the good people of this forum because they seem to give very good advice! I've been reading loads of posts for quite a while now but this is the first time I've put anything up so please bear with me...
Having studied at a 'post 92' uni and gaining a first in Criminology I then chose to stay on at the said institution and study for a part-time MA in International Criminal Justice. Half-way through this masters I was told that it wasn't ESRC verified (I know, I should have known all about this in the first place) so now will most likely have to study another ESRC masters if I want to do my PhD. I constantly feel like I'm having to prove myself against students from not only older/red-brick institutions, but also from courses that are ESRC verified.
I just want to know whether anyone else has experienced this constant feeling of inferiority or whether it's just me?
Any help or advice would be very much appreciated! :)
Hi Coltar, if it's any consolation, I've always studied at to the top departments for my subject and have a mega supervisor, but I still feel like an imposter sometimes. It used to be really bad and I'd feel like that most of the time, but the feeling is subsiding as my PhD progresses. I think many people do; there is an entire industry (kind of!) built around the phenomenon, it's called imposter syndrome.
As for your MA, that's super crappy, but please don't let it put you off - we all have obstacles. I've had to overcome stuff that's taken years off my completion date, but he mark of a successful PhD candidate is often tenacity, so keep at it X
Are you certain it's the MA that isn't verified? I'm no expert but I would've thought that it's the institution that isn't verified for funding, in which case if you were to apply for a PhD at an institution that is verified, the ESRC would still recognize your MA qualification.
Hi Eska,
Thanks for your reply. I think you’re right, sometimes you just have to accept the circumstances and get on with it. I’m going to study an ESRC masters after this one and then carry on from there. Thanks for your advice, it’s helped make my decision.
Oh, that's pretty crappy. I know that I can't apply to the ESRC for funding through my institution (also post '92) - I understood that that was a problem with my institution - not my MRes, but to be honest I didn't really look into it as (luckily) the ESRC aren't the most obvious source of funding for my area, so perhaps that's what my sup meant when she mentioned it.
I think your 'get-on-with-it' attitude is the right one (well, what choice do you have?). I know delays and setbacks are annoying and frustrating but it seems the path runs smooth for very few of us. It's just a matter of keeping at it without losing too much sanity along the way.
I've come up against the snobbery associated with "ex-poly's", and it is frustrating, but (whether you personally believe that your institution is actually inferior or not) don't allow it to make YOU feel inferior. Ultimately, how well you do is up to you, not your institution, and you obviously believe you are capable (or else why would you bother). I laugh at those who consider me inferior on account of my institution - I suddenly develop this horrendously immodest expectation that I'll prove myself against them whether they sneer or not :-)
I just wanted to say that Eska is right and imposter syndrome exists well beyond the post 92 universities. I'm sorry you had poor advice when choosing this MA. Getting (and keeping) ESRC recognition is a lot of work for a department because it means you have to constantly keep your research methods training classes not only up-to-date but also to fit every whim of the ESRC. They keep moving the goalposts. Because of the regular rerecognition process, it is a sign of quality, because a department has had to commit considerable resources to their MA/PhD programmes to get it. But for smaller departments, particularly when not all staff are themselves research-active, it's just seen as too much hassle for the probable outcome of being allowed to put one student forward to the open competition each year (where the odds are against you). I have sympathy for that position, but I do think you then have to advise students about how this might impact on their options.
Haha, I get this and the unis I've been to aren't ex-polys! I first studied at a top UK university in a different subject than the one I ended up pursuing. When I left that uni in second year (the subject bored me to death!) I had the option to stay on at the same uni but start the different subject there (I changed to psychology) or just move somewhere else and start afresh. So I did. Which meant that I moved from a top uni with a good psych department to an 'inferior' uni with an excellent psych department, and I've never regretted it. But so many people couldn't understand why I'd moved from such a good uni to such an 'average' one- it drove me mad! People were constantly saying 'oh my god, I can't believe you moved from X to Y, why on earth didn't you stay there blah blah blah!! I don't really care, I love it here, but it did get to me for quite a while! Some of my friends still don't really get why I like it here (let alone why I would want to stay here for a post-doc!) but I really don't care any more! Just ignore it, it isn't just you- it's just snobbery on the part of others! Best, KB
Hi everyone,
Thanks for the great replies, it's nice to know that it's not just me! I'm going to finish this MA and then start a verified one the year after this one. It's going to be draining but I think it'll be worth it in the long run.
Thanks again to all of you, your help and advice has been invaluable in helping me make an informed decision.
It is very much appreciated :)
