any ideas about what are the cardinal errors that you could do or you might have done in such meetings.

1) Say "I never knew you were a professor"
2) Ask "where did you buy your phd from?"
3) Say "You have got really cracking thighs daddy, er I mean doctor"
4) Say "I fetched a new e.coli sample" then drop a log on his/her desk and promptly wipe your bottom with his/her thesis.
5) Draw a characature of your supervisor on a polystyrene cup, take
it into his/her office, place it on the desk, tell them that its them, then smash it with your fist.

1)Perhaps you should "be" in your office for a change
2)Perhaps you should "be" in your office for a change
3)Perhaps you should "be" in your office for a change
4)Perhaps you should "be" in your office for a change
5)Perhaps you should "be" in your office for a change

but i'm sure it would have the same effect, if you said it only once

that's an interesting idea. One for each work-day of the week.

'that Dr .... is so fit, are they single? do you think they would be interested?'

'f**k off'

'do it yourself you w**ker'

'Have you always been a nerd?'

'I went to a brothel last night'

Oh my God! I only started the thread for some 'light entertainment' and probably to get some things actually I could use, but I was in for surprise. I haven't laughed this much since I started the PhD. you all have made my day . I am now scared that when I go to my meetings, these will just come to my mind (as I am thinking something else during the bad half of the meeting-that’s when they give me the deadlines)and I will burst into laughing in the serious points of discussion...and then they will think I'm actually mad...and they will send me to a psychiatric test...and then..oh I could do this forever..and ever

Don't mention how much you like her bunny jumper- my supervisor never wore it again, and we didn't get a picture of it.

You've slept with your supervisor's...
a) spouse
b) close family member *amend as appropriate*

congratulate them on their successful sex change operation

email to say you've stolen all their grant money and are now living in Hawaii

Those sandals go SO well with those socks

"I tell you about my life experience, and you give me a PhD, right?"
"What do you mean 'thesis'? I have to write a thesis?"
"I will be allowed to operate on people after getting this doctorate, won't I?"
"I can't possibly work in a laboratory, I'm 2-mercaptoethanol intolerant"
"I'm sorry I'm late for this meeting, my giant snail escaped"

"Who are you? Who are you? Who arrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you?"
"I am going to have to stop you there you are boring me"
"Hang on my phone is ringing.. maybe its someone who cares"
"I'm cold.. can I have a hug"
"Did you hear what Prof. X said about you? He said you smell of gouda"

"Have you always been dull?"
"Didn't I see you on crimewatch dogging?"
"Where did you get your PhD? Belford?"
"Hahahaha you are so funny.. No really what's the answer"
"Your place or mine?"

LOL at you two!! I love the mooncup one and the no, really, what's the answer?!

Bugger off, DanB. You are always sniffing around me and my curly tail, licking your lips expectantly.

"I'm scared.. Will you hold my hand"
"You must be depriving a village of an idiot"
"Daddy..Is that you?"
"Come on do the conga"
"Academia.. bit of a cop out isnt it"