Dear All,
I don’t know how useful you will find this, but I’ve found it invaluable in coping with the headaches of the PhD. From a continual feeling of not knowing what I’m doing, to lousy supervisions, days when everything has gone wrong, to a lack of motivation and tackling procrastination, a lack of money and the exhaustion of writing-up. Below is Raj Persaud’s ‘coping mantra’ which he suggests you use when sudden crises occur. (It can be adapted to cope with more general, longer-term problems and general negative feelings. But I want to stress here that I don’t see this as some ‘think happy thoughts’ response to serious mental illness, which was discussed on the forum recently with a humbling honesty. I have a part-time job working with people who have mental illnesses and while I have suffered with anxiety while doing the PhD, for me, the two do not compare. I hope you see the distinction I’m trying to make. (Raj Persaud 2001: ‘Staying Sane’, London, Bantam, p.475. Please, no cruel jokes about where *he* got it from. Although, he might be using it right now.)) Anyway,

“Step 1: ‘Because of this awful thing which has happened to me I am bound to feel terrible, indeed I should absolutely expect to feel bad, and it would be even more surprising if I did not. So the pain I feel now, given my circumstances, is completely understandable. However, let me just ask myself exactly how bad I should feel about this? I should not try to deny or repress my feelings, but I should also not exaggerate them by getting how awful this is out of proportion.’
Step Two: ‘Even if this is the worst possible thing that could happen to me, the best way of dealing with it is to see what constructive thing I can do right now to improve this situation as much as possible.’
Step Three: ‘If there really is nothing productive I can do right now, there is absolutely no point in worsening my morale by dwelling on a problem I can do nothing about. After I have checked I really can do nothing more immediately, I will occupy myself by doing something distracting which will improve my mood and hence my morale, for if I am feeling a little better I will be in a stronger position to help myself. In this crisis I need all the help I can get, so I shall try to help myself and not make things works for myself.’”


Humbly (because the advice you offer is often excellent),
Playground

thanks for posting

Hey Playground....
Good post, I like it. And whilst I think you are right to make the distinction between feeling a bit pissed off and actually suffering with a mental illness, I reckon it's pretty useful advice for everyone, those with mental illnesses included. It can be tricky to think clearly and put things into perspective when you're ill, but I for one will be printing that out and sticking it on my pinboard!
Cheers!
KB

Hey KB,

thanks for your kind words: they mean a great deal coming from your good self.  I found the *real* skill not so much going through the three steps, but actually remembering to use it!...Actually, I think I might get it framed and put it on my desk like senior executives with photos of their children. :)

Glad to be of any help I can

PG