I was inspired by a previous post (on babies) to start a (half serious) blog on children, academic expectations and the crushing weight parents place on children.

My 'hypothetical' child would have endless sessions of kumon maths to go to after school, a bit of ballet, colloquial french, german and spanish...and then once it hit say 12..we would move on to Lithuanian, Russian and Chinese. Since by that time I will (I hope) be fluent in Swedish she will have picked it up as given. As well as linguistic achievements she (it would be a she) would be excelling at school and have a active social life....I see a glittering career as a academic or diplomat....if she ever told me she wanted a 'gap year', 'time to think', or didn't want to go to robust university I would scream and disown her forthwith...

Hmmm....I don't think this would make for a happy child...I only did averagely well at school and I am still mono-lingual. I think my expectations on any child would cripple it. Just as well I can't have (and don't really want) any!

;-)

Blimey, well you are honest I guess. What was your own up bringing like, you poor little munchkin? x

You're right...I onl use the fact that I am gay as a straight forward dissmisal for having children. Yeah...I could adopt but don't realy want to. I'm not that keen on children really - I want to be the cool uncle who buys great presents...not the father! So it is more 'don't want' than 'can't'!

I do love the dream of having a wonderfully intelligent and articulate child though that exceeds me in everything! But you're right..when you place pressure on children they crack...I wouldn't trust myself not to do that!!

Bobby...bible study and dad helping me with algebra. I am now an atheist and awful at Maths (flunked it at GCSE).

Come on people! Share you ridiculous desires for you imanginary children! Come on.....

My worst fear is to have off-spring with no fashion sense.

Well, as long as they are clever and good looking, I don't care!! Bible study and algebra?! You poor, poor darling, god and quadratic equations have no place in this society!

I've never really thought about this. Mainly because I don't really want children. They're a bit scary.

Hi Rolinski,

just a few coments/remarks:

a) You would actually want your child to learn German?? Wow, I mean- that would put you in my good books- but isn't learning German pretty uncool??

b) Your child would want a gap year to work for the UN. By the way- if you want language skills you should send little Rolli to an interbational school in Geneve. They teach different subjects in different languages from day one.

c) If you don't want children that's fine, but try not to end up with a little pooch- "aw, show Daddy the hurt on your little paw, cutie"

d) If you would be better in Maths you might be able to believe in God

lol

That's more like it ya'll!

I too would be mortified if my child had an awful dress sense: I don't want her to be too conventional nor as 'non-conforming as can be' i.e. clone emo etc...I just want her to be naturally stylish like her daddy!

Yes, nightly bible study was an experience...

Annon....I love Germanic languages...I'm learning Swedish and love the affinities between the two languages. I would definately want my child to see Die Fledermaus auf Deutsche and read Goethe.

re: the cut lapdog...*urgh...vomits into basin*...

I would much prefer a grouchy old tortoise called either Magnus or Darwin....it could look at me with those black, beady eyes and smug in the self knowledge that it will outlive me....

Rolinski- that's a relief- I mean the dog thing. I live with a lovely lesbian couple at the moment who are trying to adopt/have IVF- and they have often have Gary & Gary and the sausage dog over at week ends.
sausage dog is a highly excitable dachs hound, who is going to be mated this year. Oh boy ....

anyway, so much for my experiences here in Brighton.

What is it with some men and toy dogs!

I don't really see the attraction with these small dogs.. In my experience the smaller the dog the more moody and snappy it is.. I prefer 'proper' dogs

I'd want all my kids to excel in science....ELSE

Meow