======= Date Modified 25 42 2008 09:42:23 =======
============= Edited by a Moderator =============
I am in an very big crisis about my PhD.
Not about the subject, but the money--- I have no money at all and thought i found a job that helps me surviving, but i found out that it's not at all an honest business... to say it plain: It is a big s***. I went there for two months already---for nothing. If you are lucky, you get out with nothing, with bad luck you have a lot of debts. I was just silly enough to believe some nice promises.
Now my family needs to pay for me once again. I am 27 years old and my family needs to give me money.
A stipendiary I can get next year, but it will be for months only, then I need another one. There will always be a gap in between.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want luxury ( i have a really small flat, no car and I am fine with it) and i love what I do, but I feel like a looser. I don` t sleep and I don't work. I just accuse myself for not finding a proper job, for living on my family's expense, for being so weak. I hate myself that this kills my motivation.
Who of you already had this kind of crisis? How did you get over?

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Many people doing a PhD have money problems.

The very nature of a PhD means you have signed up to 3-5 years of having no income apart from funding. You have to accept the fact you'll be living on the bread line. Try to find some easy work that will give you a constant (albeit low) income eg. bar work, library work, teaching etc., but don't let the work encroach on your PhD time.

Also don't feel guilty about taking money off your family...if family can provide help, they are usually happy to do so. Most of my PhD friends have had very supportive parents and/or partners who have helped them while they have completed their PhDs in their 20s and 30s.

There isn't anyway of getting over the guilty feeling of leeching off family etc. apart from getting on with your PhD and looking forward to the end result....getting the PhD and a job.

thanx... you are absolutely right. But I have a hard time today with being pragmatic and rational :-( My mood is getting really whiny.. but sure, to skip working on my thesis is of course the worst I can do :-s I skipped it often for this f***ing "job" and now I am not able to go back to my desk.