Desperate for advice!!!

J

But do remember. People who are your colleagues may seem great, but unfortunately people who are not close friends sometimes have a hidden agenda. Do not get persuaded, unless you really want to do it, to be the 'fall guy', the person who stands up on behalf of everyone and gets shot down, as they will come out looking like roses and you will be the one who causes problems. I am not saying don't do it, because as I said before, we have to stand up to bullying people who abuse their power (or lack of usually!). Just saying, never make rash decisions, like I always do! Think things through a few times, ask your family and friends advice (and ours), before you make a decision to do something. Then sleep on it, if you feel the same in the morning, go for it whole heartedly. 'You only live once', bit of a cliche, but makes sense!

Good luck my friend, and remember you are not alone in these sorts of cases!

T

have you decided what to do? just for your information, my old boss's degrogatory words still haunt me nowadays, look how long-lasting those harsh words can influence.. I need to see a psychologist..

B

Well I think the supervisor is having a personality problem. He is aggressive and oppressive.

The best way to feed his ego is to be passive. Being aggressive like him make matters worse.

The best way to handle him is..be assertive.
Is he the only supervisor you have? have you talked to your other supervisors. You may need to talk to someone else, including your head of department or someone who is above him.
Whatever you do, be wise. Do not be rash. But know what you are doing and stand by it. Prove him wrong by your actions and results and he will probably pull back. Diplomacy is needed.
Do not quit. If you do, he has won and bullies should never win. Good luck.

S

I'm still swithering as to what to do. I am debating telling him that I need him to actually give me some space to think without him breathing down my neck all the time. Not sure if he would take offence at that.

I agree that bullies shouldn't win, and I really don't want to end up leaving like this, coz I feel that would mean he defeated me and I couldn't hack it.

I'm trying to take everyone's advice and take my time and be as rational as possible about things....

T

hehe, you are where I was back then(I know I say this many times..). I was so depressed by the work pressure by that boss, so I went to the psychogyist, got some therapy, and told him that I needed to take some time. later on, all of these came back to me; he kept saying that I was self-centered, not critical enough of my work, and he was disappointed at my work.. out of the 2 years I worked under him, I only heard a couple of nice words from him; all the rest is mainly like "crap", " disappointing", "shallow"..
I am curious to see if you can actually get your supervisor become a nicer person. sometimes, it is better to leave the bully and start your new life. I am happy now

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