Dear forum,

I'm just curious as to how everyone in their second year is getting on. :$

I'm approaching the end of my second year, and I have no idea of whether I'm on the right track or not. I'm about to find out whether I've passed my second year upgrade in order to progress to my third and final year YAY!!

I've just submitted five chapters (intro, chapter 2 (lit review), chapter 3 (lit review), chapter 4 (my model and research questions), chapter 5 (methods and methodology section). Due to no real concrete written guidelines within my department on the upgrading process- I've basically written my chapters as I would do for my final thesis. I'm worried as my report at the end of my second year is nearly 70,000 words which doesn't include references, figures, tables and appendicies. My report is very detailed and I've had to keep a very close eye on not going of into tangents! My supervisors have said that I've put an enormous amount of work into my chapters, my supervisor has kindly read through each of my chapters and feels that some of them are ok (which I'm taking as a positive as she's extermely picky about things!)

But, I'm sh*t scared that my markers are going to reject my report as it's not PhD standard, or that I won't be able to cope with the standard of a PhD. I've put SO much work into it, and I'm going to be heartbroken if its rejected a second time. This time round, I've ensured that everything they've wanted is included, I've evaluated everything and have tried to keep it as close and as consise as possible to my research questions. THe problem is, my confidence really has been shaken by their critical nature-so I'm feeling the pressure and I'm not sure what will happen! If there not happy again with my report (despite covering and completing everything they've wanted), I'm seriously thinking about quitting :(

In terms of my fieldwork, by December, I would have completed 3/4 of my data collection, with just 2 focus groups and carer interviews to do.

What are other peoples experiences?-I know everybodys PhD is different, but I would be interested to see how other people are getting on in their second year

Sorry for the long post. Many thanks for reading

Uhhm pineapple, you sound as if you are just scared lol.. from what you wrote its all hard work, and dedication and detail, and perhaps extra work, so why worry? Ask yourself what you are really worried about...it seems its the fear of "what happens if things go a little wrong" rather than worry about having made adequate progress by 2nd year end...obviously as you yourself wrote (length, detail, work, supervisor comments, structure), progress is great!

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I'm really worried that despite all the work, time and effort I've put into it is all going to come to nothing. My confidence really has taken a battering from my very critical supervisors and I really don't know what's going to happen. I'm frightened that their going to say that it's just not good enough. I'm aware that this just be my insecurities here rather than actual reality (I've covered everything they've wanted and more relevant stuff to my project, and they've said that most of my chapters are ok) but I'm still questionning myself! They've pushed me so hard to do this and to get things done (which is a good thing I guess in the long run) and pick at every single thing that I do, I just have lost all confidence! (this is my fourth degree, so rationally, I know I can write well, but, I only take so much criticism before I start to crack!!)

I'm also worrying about whether im on target in comparision with other 2nd year PhD students-I'm worried whether I've fallen behind and am basically not a good student in the eyes of my supervisors :( Maybe I should just stop worrying and just get on with it! lol



In short, yes, I'm sh*t scared!!!

I can see you are doing the following things;

1. Worrying about "What Ifs"

2. Comparing with other students

Tell me, then what does one do, when one has put one's best foot forward. Still worry? Then everybody should do that, isnt it? The best of scholars can worry after their first book is published and is out there in the stores for just about *anybody* to pick up, rip apart and critique. The young academic should die of nerves when her first book is released and big names can see through their faults in jiffy. Everything let alone, the best of chefs can worry after laying out a laboriously prepared meal for high and mighty guests and perhaps...she may lose her job is the salt is not okay! What I am trying to say pineapple, is please try to define TWO things. First, what is REALITY? The reality is that you have done ABCD tasks. Finished. End of story. Next, what is the REST of the story? The rest of the story is you do not yet know the outcome of that reality. You dont have control over it. SO, stop thinking about it.

Consider this. What if you hadnt worked? What if you had horribly shallow results? What if you'd written 20,000 words and not 70? If the harder we work, the more insecure we feel, then both may only rise, but to no use....

I am sounding dreadfully like a wise old grandmom, but the truth is pineapple, please identify your fears, locate their 'real' causes, acknowledge them and then eliminate them.

cheers! And come out of "What if"s and comparisons...(up)