Feeling ready for a Phd still having second thoughts

R

Hello everybody!
Hope you're all coping with your PhD pros and cons...
I've just finished my Masters in History and Political Sciences and already I'm feeling SO enthousiastic about starting a PhD.
Still I'm thinking that maybe I am not qualified to go through it.
This mixed emotions are weird, but I guess it's ok to be a bit cautious, right?
I mean, I got the main Thesis idea, I can't seem to write my thoughts on paper though...
I know I have to study at first! Then try to prepare my proposal/which is not easy although it seems easy...!
Then, I have to go Prof hunting, wishfully thinking that someone is going to believe in me, my ideas and "can do it" spirit!
This part is what scares me the most. The thought that I might not succeed to persuade a Professor about my ideas.
I know that lack of self confidence is the worst thing that can happen to you in these academic phases but I have to admit that I'm feeling that way.
If someone has gone through with this stage, I'll be more than glad to know how he/she dealt with it...

L

Hi Rebecca

I'm two thirds through my part-time Masters and have been accepted to do a PhD (again part-time). So I'm having similar feelings as well. Feel free to PM me.

D

Hi Rebecca,

It is really great that you want to start a new phase in your life and you are so enthusiastic about that! I wish you all the best and hope you enjoy doing research. However, I would never start a 3 year commitment with a supervisor I don't know. Apart from having common research interests, I had already worked with my supervisors for a couple of years before starting the PhD. It is a matter of personality compatibility too, as well as knowing what to expect.

J

Hello Rebecca1981,

Congratulations on landing a phd! You must be very capable to be accepted.

I'm just playing a little devil's advocate here. If you say you are ready, then it means that you have no second thoughts whatsoever, otherwise, this does not fit the definition of ready, right?

Ideally, one should start a phd if she really really wants to. Regarding what you said that "Still I'm thinking that maybe I am not qualified to go through it." It is absolutely normal for applicants, especially women, do doubt their own abilities. This is a very important point, because there is a difference between (1) doubting if you have the skills and (2) doubting whether you want the phd.

In your case, it looks like you really want the phd, but you are just careful in terms of your qualifications. I think that if you have been accepted, it means that the department has seen that you reach the criteria for being an able researcher. This is good news...must boost your confidence
:-)

However, I agree withDrjeckyll. Compatibility with the supervisor and clear expectations are a must. Hope you find a good prof. Goodluck!

R

Thank you all for your kind replies!
I should try to reply to each one at a time. The thing is I am feeling ready about the PhD, but a up to a point there is a piece in me that is overwhelmed to prove my academic skills and ideas to Professors that might be sceptical about me in the future.
I want to keep a low profile, since I'm no genius or something, but still I need to gradually boost my confidence and I don't know how to do that in this phase!
I guess you all know that this is something personal, something that inside of us... No one can do that FOR us!
I would totally agree with Dr. Jeckyll and JJJ. I need a confidence boost!
I hope this is just a phase towards the unknown! Once I get started, I'll feel much much better!!

You were all great, thank you!

W

Don't worry about if you are 'qualified' to do the PhD, as long as you think you are near the boarder. And it sounds like you are at that point. Put your best foot forward when you apply. The PhD process is more like an apprenticeship than your other degrees to date at university. Eventually you will be moving to a position of 'peer' with the academics at your university (and the world over), although I am still waiting to feel like that after 2 years down. Although, I do feel more equal then when I started.

Another tip: the lack of confidence, get used to that feeling. Ok, probably not the best way to put that. Get "used to it" as it will happen several times. If you are used to it, you will know when it is coming on and how you got out of it the last time. That will help you the next time you start to feel it coming on, and hopefully make the trough shorter and not quite so deep.

But push hard to get in. And it could be a good idea to know your super, but I hardly know mine at this stage and we work.

B

It must be karma that I found this site.  I am trying to complete my research proposal and prepare for the candidacy exam and some of the key words in the messages jumped out at me. Not qualified, lack of self confidence, not ready  - to name a few.   I'll add "Do I really know what I am doing?"
Last weekend was the meltdown. Now I think/hope I am back on track.  Key message to self and others - "Baby steps"   Also, there are "Talks" on line by Jeru Kabbal that might provide insight into self. Realizing our own, persistent 4 year old and the chatter that goes on with that.  How much external validation does it need?
Not that I am a guru of self realization or anything, but I am 2 years into the PhD, turning 64 years old on Monday and sometimes I still can't seem to get it all together.
Situation normal - get used to it - trust in yourself. If you can, try to adopt the motto "I will do whatever it takes"
Bulldog


R

Dear Bulldog I take your word for it!
I've got to set my ideas straight, which needs a bit of an effort... I guess! But I am so willing to do so...
Only reading all of the replies, made me feel much better. My friends and family are helpful, but being able to talk about it with people who have same preoccupations weakens the "fear"/ well I don't think it's fear, what I'm experiencing right now, Just a "thought" that must go away, cause we got job to do, right?!
Keep me updated on your progress!
THANK you for the support!
R.

B

A few other things to try ...
There is a book called "Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay" that has an approach that I have used in many situations, the PhD dilema being one.  On one column put "I would continue the PhD / Masters Program because ..." on the other column put "I would quit the PhD / Masters Program because ..."   Then just quickly put down your thoughts and feelings in the appropriate column without trying to analyse or edit them.  Having done this, see if you can write down any thoughts or feelings that might counter what you have just wrote.  For example, one of my entries was under the Quit side - I feel deprived of being able to be involved in "fun" activities like working on my model airplanes because I have to work on the thesis.   Later, I added on the other side "I am prepared to sacrifice in the short term for the benefit of the long term"     Anyway, you get the picture.   It helped me to flesh out my deeper feelings, and the completed form also helped me to talk over the issues with my wife.

I also have collected a few quotes that have helped guide my thoughts. See if they resonate for you.

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
Albert Einstein

He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.
Pablo Picasso

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso

Ciao
Bulldog

R

Bulldog, thanks for the tip!
Though I must say that even though I am facing an  "inner doubting" period, quitting is not my case. Every (baby) step I take is a decision taken after long consideration...
I might be frightened to stand towards Professors and researchers that have reached a higher level than me, but I guess I'll get over it once I am in the programme for good!(i.e having started my research, having straightened out my research aims etc)

All these days I tried to figure out what's wrong and why I posted...
I think I found something.
I wasn't focused on myself as a researcher, where I am aiming at, what I want to do. Once you start, I believe that you have to be a bit "self-centered" for a while only because you have to reach the depth of your thought about the PhD in every meaning.
I have my ideas, but I kept them down, so that gave space to other thoughts to come out. Such as, me and co-researchers, Professors and what they would think of me in the Academic Society. I got way out of line, I think.

For the time being I need to concentrate, study and write! And the rest will come at it's time!

I shall try to do this and see what happens!

Feeling stressed about my adequacy is something that should seriously bother me. But not at this point.

I think I am much better now and I would like to thank you (all) once again!
R.
PS feel free to widen the subject of my post in other concerns(maybe different than mine), that you might be facing, that we can discuss about

L

As I said to some other poster, you won't know until you try. Better to regret something that you've done in life than regretting not takin gthe opportunities when they were there. Go for it.

16946