======= Date Modified 07 42 2009 09:42:13 =======
Thank you everyone for your feedback. I suppose I just have to get some thicker skin

Maybe you could mention it to your supervisor (not who said it, but what was said) and ask how they would've responded to it? Really it depends on the situation - sometimes someone will say something useful that makes you realise a potential problem in your work, but the situation you described sounds like they didn't really understand your work and were just being malicious. The energy they're wasting talking about it would be better spent focussing on their own problems.

I think you just have to trust that by the end you will be able to answer these technical questions and find more supportive students to talk to who can help you fill the gaps in your knowledge (recommend stuff they read as undergrads that they think was important to know maybe). Sounds like you're doing your best so just ignore the person or cut them dead with something like "It's great you're so interested in this. I'm still getting to know the area though, if you think there's a problem then why don't you go discuss it with... (whoever your supervisor is)? It sounds like an important issue - I'm sure he/she would prefer we didn't waste time doing the wrong thing. I can pass on your thoughts at our next meeting and see what he says if you want?".
I reckon they'll back off after that - after all there's a reason they're challenging someone who's still finding their way rather than an expert with much more experience. ;-)

As for the confidence thing, don't worry - it'll come, you just need some time to settle in. :-)

I really feel for you in this situation, but as you said it probably is part of the whole PhD experience. I am only an MSc student at the moment, but I think that as PhD research is the beginning of an academic career, there is going to be competition among students for opportunities (funding, conference places, writing) and this could lead to tension and the sniping that you are experiencing. Do you know how long this other student has been there for? They had no right to talk to you like this and no reason either - your projects are totally individual and your 'failure' would not lead to their success. Maybe they were having a good week and so felt a bit cocky...but next week could be totally different if they get some negative feedback or something...they might turn on the charm and approach you for advice.
As long as you are getting on with your supervisor well and enjoying the other aspects of your PhD - that is the priority. You have as much right to be there as they do, you need to believe in that and that will come with time.

I hope that I've made some sense and helped, hope it improves for you soon, Natassia

Gosh, the world is full of know-it-alls. In academia, in paid jobs. Ignore it and concentrate on learning your stuff so that you'll eventually know more than this pain. It sounds to me like this person is insecure and is putting you down to bolster their own ego. Some people will still do this even when you're an expert in your area. They're not worth the energy it takes to snipe back at them or worry about what they're saying. Ignore this person as best you can and cultivate positive relationships with other colleagues.

You chose this PhD topic, you chose this supervisor, and I'm sure you had good reasons for both. Next time something like that happens share your own perspective; if your PhD topic / supervisor are not as bad as someone is making out, persuade them of that. Letting the moment pass, then mulling over it, becoming annoyed, and venting online is an unhealthy pattern. Learn to speak your mind or you'll be back here again and again and again!

Hi Mighty Mouse: I would disagree with Super Genius in that I really don't think you should attempt to justify your choices of supervisor and topic to these people, it's none of their business, and I think doing so would be playing into their hands.

Just let them know that your it's none of their business and that IF you ever want or need their advice on that topic, you will ask for it - also point out to them that THEIR time might be better spent focussing on their own work, rather than on coming up with such detailed analysis your project and supervisor: don't they have their own work to get on with?

Good luck and I'm sure you will do the right thing, don't worry about coming back on here if you need more advice, or just to talk it through more.

Do you realise that be deleting your original post (which I assume existed) you make all these replies look completely silly? I couldn't make head or tail of what this was all about! The forum is meant for people to read threads/archivesin that sense it's not really like a face to face conversation...

Yes, I agree with Bug, people should stop deleting their original posts - they are there for a very good reason: so others can benefit from a shared experience. Maybe we should start a thread on this, or a campaign or something.

Hi,

it wasn't a deliberate deletion - I just assumed I would be tacking onto the end of the original post, but didn't want it to replicate the original message. Any way, I do value everyone’s feedback, so I do want my post on here! (Plus, as you say, it might help someone else in the future)

So, my original post was about the fact that I've just started my PhD, and have moved across to a discipline which is new to me. So there's a big learning curve. The other day I was in the lab when another PhD student came over and started asking some technical questions which, to be honest, I found difficult to answer. They then proceeded to say that my project was rubbish and a waste of time, and that I should be doing something more useful. They followed this by stating that my supervisor is also rubbish (who I happen to think is fantastic) and that even they knew more than my sup! It turns out that they are well known for being unpleasant to other PhD students and seem to be proud of the fact that they have made other people in the lab cry.

The main reason for my post was to get things off my chest as I was left feeling quite upset about it all. I happen to think my PhD is worthwhile and interesting, but as it contains a slightly philosophical aspect which is being examined through empirical methods, the PhDer in question told me it was rubbish and that I should be looking at more concrete things.

In my original post I asked if this was normal behaviour. I've just started, so I'm hoping that this isn't the way people treat their colleagues. I expect constructive criticism and look forward to being better at justifying myself, but to be told that everything I'm doing is "sh*t" (the words they used, not mine), when feeling a little out of my depth at this early stage, really upset me. So I also asked if anyone had any advice.

Sorry again for the deletion.

I think you need to play her at her own game (I'm assuming student is a 'she'...), if she questions the philosophical aspect again adopt a slightly patronising tone and give her some recommended reading, along with a detailed explanation of why you are doing so. She'll soon get the message and leave you alone when she realises that she can't get at you any more, and she will hopefully end up respecting your PhD a bit more.

You never know, hers might not be as wonderful as she thinks it is, she obviously has her own insecurities as well. I remember girls like this at school getting competitive about A-Level results, but there was hardly any competition during my undergrad degree...sounds like she needs to grow up!

There are people in this world who think their whole reason for being is to rubbish other people, luckily there are plenty more who will bend over backwards to help you. This person is obviously firmly in the first category, they won't change, so ignore them. Once they realise you are not going to play their silly game they will find someone else they can rattle. If you think your supervisor is ace, then they are. If they continue, do as has been suggested, and say you will raise their issues with your supervisor, otherwise ignore it and get on with what you want to do, if anything it should act as an incentive for you to succeed! :-)

I think thick skin is the way forwards...I haven't experienced anything quite this extreme but I have had a particularly competitive PhD student in our department making snide comments about my subject area/my progress/the systematic literature review I have recently submitted for publication. Think along the lines of 'god your project must be sooo boring, you have to do so much paperwork to get near your participants' referring to all the NHS ethics stuff I have to get through to start my testing; 'I can't believe it's taken you this long to get going, I've been testing since October' referring to the fact he is just testing students which can go through School ethics in a fortnight; and 'what a waste of time, who ever reads published literature reviews anyway' referring to my recent submission to a well-regarded journal. I just remind myself that he is completely ignorant and try to ignore it. There is no need to put down other people's PhDs- we are not in direct competition and I think these people are either insecure about their own work, jealous of your progress, or just clueless. Leave them to it! KB

======= Date Modified 07 Aug 2009 16:10:17 =======
Unfortunately, academia is populated by a disproportionate amount of arrogant types (eg. lots who cannot cope in a corporate environment where they have to align themselves to a company's culture). You'll often come across this and it's best just to support you're own case (in a diplomatic way) and develop a thick skin. When you walk out the office/lab/department forget about it - try not to take it personally otherwise it can start having negative effect on your work.

@ mighty mouse

I've just quickly flicked through this but I'd agree with a lot of what has been said.

I think your problem, is that you judge people by your own standards and I mean this in a nice way: You are obviously a good person and you wouldn't necessarily act in this way to other people, but unfortunately there are a lot of people that are more than willing to do this to you and this isn't limited to just academia. I've worked in various different jobs over the past few years: IT, research and development, retail, customer support and the one thing I've found is that you are always going to get people taking pop shots at you for no particular reason other than the fact that they have just take a dislike to you.

Unless this person actually has a direct influence on your project forget about them and ignore them. They may have an axe to grind with you for all sorts of reasons: your better looking, your smarter, you get more attention and praise from your supervisor than they do, you went to a better undergrad uni or your have more friends than them.... I often find that when people make a concerted effort to put other people down its usually cause they are jealous or they feel threatened in some way.

There is a lot to be said for growing a thick skin but If you feel this is bordering on bullying, then don't put up with it and have a word with the department about it. If its just annoying banter. Give as good as you get or just let it slide,

hope this helps

rjb

Hi,
I just wanted to say thank you everyone for your replies. It's been really helpful to read through your thoughts. Like many of you have said, I suppose there are people like this in every industry and I need to learn how to not let these sorts of people make me feel bad. I've taken on board what has been said here and I'm going to move on from this. Life is too short. I should have more faith in myself and realise that some people, for whatever reason, are going to be mean and hurtful. I shall also continue to try and be a good team member in the lab by not behaving in such an unpleasant manner. Least that way I can hold my head up!
Thank you again for your thoughts.
Mighty Mousse