FFS people - who gives a flying toss who is right or wrong? Man down here ... take the argument elsewhere.

Looie - Look, at least now you know how she feels about you, so that aspect is gone. Give it time and she will talk to you again. If you asked her in a dignified manner, and didn't shame yourself, hopefully things will improve in time. For the immediate future, just let it slide as regardless of your intentions, emailing and texting her can be misconstrued as harassment. Yeah, it is a shame that maybe the feelings you have for her aren't reciprocated but thats life. Of course its natural to feel like a bag of s*ite, but that'll pass ... you won't forget but it'll get easier.

Have you talked to anyone about this? If not, I would do so - a good friend, if possible a mutual friend, just to let him/her know that you are sorry. Nothing about possible meetings or that.

Immediately, go out and do what makes you happy for today. Ya need a few days to get over this so why not take a break - situation you are describing, you're not much use to the PhD at present.

Maybe the Duckie gay shame thing later this year would be interesting for you as it's themed around femininity this year. It's an alternative to gay pride events for people who don't fit into usual gay scenes or stereotypes, or just don't like them. I'm not gay, but their events I've been to when friends have been involved have always been funny and intelligent in the way they look at issues related to gender and sexuality that are relevant to everybody, gay or straight. I like them because they're unpretentious and don't take themselves too seriously, like some arty performance stuff is. EuroShame a few years ago was good for the ways it looked at what it means to be European, very friendly atmosphere too.

PS to the mods, I hope this doesn't constitute advertising.