Just started...

H

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This is my first post on the Forum....just wanted to say hi to everyone and share a bit of my new experience.

I have started 4 months ago with my Research Phd. I have to be honest I really love what I'm doing and get well paid doing it.

Its just that in these last few months a lot has changed for me. I moved to a new country, new language and people. After one month the honeymoon stage of Culture shock was over (google the stages of culture shock, if you dont get what I mean) and now I'm in that frustrated stage. Also had to get in the rhythm of working hours and living in a room in an apartment with 2 other undergrads....Some times I just feel very lonely, especially in the weekend. I try to keep myself busy with work, jogging, hiking, movies, also I meet with few friends/colleagues every once in a while.

But the worst thing is I miss my fiancee like crazy.... that lives 3000 miles away. We plan to get married this coming summer and she will come live with me. So I have to start looking for my own place, which financially wont be too difficult...ppffff there is just a lot of things on my mind....I tell myself I shouldn't have time to feel lonely but can't help it....I mean there is so much Research work to do, learning a new language and gonna plan for a wedding and bringing her over, a new place start a family...etc...etc. I'm sure things gonna work out, I just needed to get some of this crap off my back and write about it.

How do you manage living alone and doing a PhD (3 to 6 years) without a girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband. To be honest I cant imagine doing a 3 or 4 year Phd in a new place without my fiancee. I don't know how many of you cope with that......coming home to an empty house everyday. It must suck big time!!! Now a Phd is demanding no doubt, but I hear these stories of people not having a social life or anyone to share their life with while doing a PhD....I truly do not believe it has to be like this.

T

Hi

I am single and living alone whilst doing my PhD. Personally I love living alone and sometimes wonder whether I will ever care about someone enough to want to live with them!

I very rarely get lonely and as much as I love my friends and enjoying spending time with my colleagues, for me there is nothing better than coming home to an empty flat!

I guess everyone different and whilst this works for me, it obviously doesn't work for you. I would encourage you to expand your interests as much as possible: attend every university seminar going, take every invite to the pub (even if you don't know the people going very well), use Skype as much as possible to talk to your partner, take up a new hobby, read a good book, buy several tv box sets - anything to stop you thinking whilst at home. Don't forget you can always log on to this forum and talk about how you are feeling at any time

(mince)

L

Amazing housemates. Mine are also postgrads and they definitely keep me sane. Unfortunately I'm long distance with my boyfriend at the moment and I won't be able to live closer to him until after I finish. It's hard but you've just got to get through it one visit at a time. Luckily I'm in my third year already so my fingers are crossed that this time next year I can be in a position where I can stay with him at least while I tackle the terror that is job hunting.

Just keep in mind that the summer isn't that far away, and in the meantime try to find some friends where you are or take advantage of the ones you already have. It's already been 4 months, presumably that means that you're at least a third of the way there. (up)

F

I'm a perma-single living with a guy i don't really get on with.

I have a good social life and lots of friends here, but at the end of the day, i go home to my flat alone. At least i did.. until i got two kittens. And now, i'm NEVER alone and there's always at least one (usually two) excited little kitty-cats waiting for me when i get home.

It turns out that Kittens >>> People :-)

(though they can be distracting too... i have been late for work on a few occasions because we were playing... whoops.)

D

hello are u online

K

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