Hello everyone- I should start by saying this isnt a generalised moan, but I do need some advice. I've suffered with severe anxiety and depression for a lot of years (which has/is being treated). This, naturally, has really gone through the roof since I started my PhD and its made things, particularly socialising, very difficult. However, I have met up with other PhD students to go out at night and I've been to other social events as well (which, for me, is a big achievement)- problem is, there has been a lot of others which I just havent felt able to go to. I'm basically just wondering if I should feel as awful as I do about this or whether I should be pleased that I've been able to do what I have- I do seem to get on with everyone I've met doing a PhD, but I worry that they will think I'm arrogant or unwilling to get to know them better, when thats not really the truth. Anyone any thoughts or advice?

Hi Vince,

Firstly well done for overcoming the difficulties. Secondly, I think you need to be more concerned about yourself- dont worry about what others think of you. Its clear you are making an effort and this is good enough. If others cant accept it, then they can "like it or leave it". All the best buddy

Hi Vince,

You sound pretty much like me - I have always had big problems to socialise, it's not that easy at all for me. At the beginning, I always have to put a bit of pressure on myself and treat invitations from people as "obligations" I have to attend. If I feel I'm not able to attend every of them I set myself a minimum, for example take 2 invitations a week or something like that. At the beginning it's quite challenging because I would rather stay at home by myself, but at the end it's not such an awful experience and I do get quite well with other people and feel at ease with them.

Well in my case I guess I had to accept I will never be a big socializer or the most popular student in my department, but I think my social skills are now up to a minimum thanks to auto-discipline.

Thanks for the comments both of you- really cheered me up. It's not something I find easy to talk about and I definitely dont want people to think I'm a complete whinger, but its just good to get some perspective on things which I am probably blowing out of all proportion and stressing too much over. Really appreciate it..

Hey Vince, I had the same problem.
I just started my PhD study 3 months ago. I went out with other students and labmates in the first couple months, and began to "hide" away from them.
I'm not used to such social occasions...