Hi guys,

Thought I'd post a reflective piece... more just to conceptualise this whole PhD journey in my own head, but please feel free to post your own tales/ reflections/ comments.

I started my PhD 929 days ago (2years, 4months), and I'm currently about 2 months away from submitting. I'm excited, yet fearful. Excited, because I can finally see those 2 and a bit years worth of hard graft formulating into a readable, giant book, which will hopefully pave the way for a successful career in academia. Fearful, because I know I still have a ton of work to finish and of course have a viva to pass before I can begin the new chapter in my book of life.

Strangely, these two emotions are mixing together really well. I've been more productive in the last 2 month than I probably have been for the last 2 years. I've learnt more, understood my topic more and I think matured a lot more as well. I've realised my strengths and accepted my weakness' s. For the first time in my life, I feel ready to face the world, like I have something to contribute that's worthwhile. I feel happy... although slightly neurotic at the same time.

This neurosis is coming in the form of impending submission and viva nerves. I find myself doing everyday chores, but in my head I am constantly asking myself hypothetical questions relating to my research, which might come up in the viva. I'm formulating answers to questions that have never been asked, and tweaking paragraphs in my thesis which I previously thought were watertight. And I suppose this all just forms a part of the journey.

All I can say, though, is that I'm looking forward to this journey coming to an end, but in many ways I want to stay on the ride. Looking for a job is possibly the biggest anti-climax I've faced. Application writing and the never-ending search for "that perfect post" remove any satisfaction for a job well done. But I suppose this is what's to be expected.

These next two months are going to be emotionally, mentally, and physically challenging.... but I say, bring it on! Here's to the last 929 days of my life! :-)

Hey Jinkim, I think I know what you mean...I feel as though I have found a sense of purpose and a sense that I have something to contribute through doing my PhD. I was so lost before I started the research thing and didn't know which way to go, but it finally feels like I have found my thing with what I'm doing and I'm hooked on it. Even though a PhD seems to highlight every weakness a person has, I am a lot more confident in every way than I was just a couple of years ago, and my friends and family say the same about me. I think it helps because the topic I am studying (mental-health related) has a lot of personal relevance to me too, so I have been able to make some sense of my own experiences and also to find an outlet for them in a constructive way. That sounds like such a psychoanalytic thing to say, but it's actually true! And I am a happier and more fulfilled person because of it. And now I'm going to choke on my own vomit for being so sentimental about it all! Best of luck with finishing your work off, sounds like you are well ahead of the three year thing- congrats! Best, KB

Hi Jinkim - this is a really interesting thread, and well done for making so much progress with your PhD so quickly - sounds like you're nearly there, good luck with the next two months!

I haven't started a PhD yet but can imagine going through all of these emotions myself at some stage, I really hope I do. I am doing my MSc and applying for PhD supervision, at the moment I am a bit disappointed that I am 1/3 way through my Masters already, its going way too quickly and I'm getting stressed about not having a PhD to start at the end of it, it will really upset me if I have to take a year out after my MSc. I am really excited about the project I want to do, would start it tomorrow if I could, but I'm having to suppress that excitement for now until I have an interview, if I get to that stage! I do know I want to stay in academia though, I think I have found my niche, its just keeping it thats the problem.