The paranoia of the PhD

K

I wonder if anyone has looking into the effects of the PhD on the student.

I have just experienced my worst self doubt, paranoid phase of the PhD so far. Have had a bit of a freak out over this past few weeks, partially as I am very aware of the fact that I have 4 months left to go, partially due to me feeling that my thesis is not that great at all, partially relating to my data and its quality, doubting my supervisors, and what I would have done differently if I had it all to do over again.



Anyway had a mass wobble and have been feeling very low, weepy etc.



I know logically that my data is fine, my supervisors are great, within the 4 months I can get my thesis to a submitable state, etc. however the paranoia kicks in and logic goes out the window.



Just thought I would put it out there for others to share their experiences.

D

This sounds normal especially towards the end - welcome to the joys of doing a PhD! I think studying the effects of doing one on the student would make a great project as it has to be one of the most stressful and emotional things you do! It's like going on a roller coaster and you don't know where you are half the time emotionally! You can go from being really happy with results to being really low as you describe and doubting yourself and everything to do with your project! Not to mention the insecurity that comes with doubting yourself which is enough to drive you mad!

I think it's healthy to have a certain amount of doubt so that we can question our data and improve it but when it starts to takes over we need to kick the paranoia out of the window!

Good luck - you can get a lot done in 4 months as you say so you just need to keep going! The last 10 % is the worst! :p (up)

K

Hey Karac! I'm in exactly the same boat as you- 4 months to go and emotions all over the place!

I posted on here last week because I kept bursting into tears, yet this week I've not been as bad...logically I know things aren't too bad and I've got plenty of time to finish off etc, but it's the what-ifs that haunt me! I think part of my emotional rollercoaster is the uncertaintly of what happens after the PhD, when in reality I should just be concentrating on getting the PhD to start with. Got a meeting with the statistician tomorrow and I'm nervous about that- the last thing I need is to be told my analyses are dodgy or something.

So you are not alone!
Best, KB

B

I agree this sounds perfectly normal, and healthy to be honest. Although it's very common for PhD students to have real problems mid-way through (the 2nd year - or part-time equivalent - blues or doldrums), some of the worst patches come at the very end of the PhD. Then you may be facing an imminent registration deadline, and have all the natural self-doubts to go along with it.

Good luck with the last push towards the end. It does get easier - honest!

K

good to know its not just me,

and good luch for tomorrow KB. hope all goes well.

C

Yep...I know how you feel.
Four months to go and I often think my PhD is a pile of wank! Not sure I can publish any of it.....can see all the ways I SHOULD have done things...if only I could go back I could have an amazing PhD! Still my supervisors seem to think it's good. I alternate between thinking I should stop worrying, and thinking they don't know what they're talking about!

I woke up in a panic last week that it would be impossible to finish by sept. I'm at the end of my forth year, and I haven't managed to find out what actually happens if I don't finish by then.

I still darent check the deadline this summer thread incase everyone on there is so much further along than me.

W

I hate to say I am glad to see this, but I am. I'm in the same patch at you, Karac. Even though we "know" that it is normal, that doesn't help as much as coming to erhm, talk... with somebody else who is hitting a skid at the same time. Chin up though, I think this would be equilivant to hitting the wall in a marathon run.

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