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jojo - its very difficult to put your whole life situation across on an internet forum post so yes, people probably won't understand fully. What is coming across though, is a VERY defensive attitude which is possibly why others don't like to work with you. My research looks at people's explanations for life experiences and those that continually explain bad experiences by blaming others or the situation tend to come out worse off than those who look at themselves for an explanation. Of course it could be racism - we don't know all the facts, but the way you are writing it on the forum suggests otherwise. - to me anyway

Sneaks - once again you're very presumptous and unhelpful:

"It seems like you have been reading the Daily Mail to form your views of the British public which is very saddening, we are certainly not all anti-immigration."

First, that is insulting. I do not need to read a newspaper to form views.

Secondly, you have never met me. Therefore you have no right to put yourself on a pedestal and pretend you know anything about how I communicate. Don't pretend you understand what am going through, because from what you're writing, you haven't a clue. The statement below is totally pointless and doesn't add any value to this discussion.

"Understandably you come across very defensive, but maybe you need to reevaluate your style when communicating with your peers, as it may seem to others like you are putting up barriers."

What on earth do you mean by this sentence on those who do not have an option but to stay here???????

Are you saying that one set of experiences shows reality more accurately than another set? So - 'Britain is a nasty country' according to your experiences and that can only be agreed with, but when contrasted with another set of experiences, from someone in a similar position which says 'britian is a lovely country' - this latter is invalidated and discouraged from being posted?

I know you are upset, but you are also a researcher for crying out loud!!!

Yeah good one bugsy, someone is having a hard time and you rub it in their face how bloody happy you are!

You shut up and get lost. Honestly.

@jinkim - no one is compelling you to respond to my post either. and yes, whoever told you am not on my way out lied to you.

Cleverclogs - "Personally I think blaming a country for one's woes is a sign of personal problems. Doing a PhD generally does bring problems, but the country is incidental."

That again is presumptuous and unhelpful.

sorry for being so unhelpful, I fail to see how you would see anyone as helpful unless they fully agree with you - and where is the help in that?

It seems you have made your decision. Good luck with your future, whether it be in Britain or not - btw a lot of us would be very offended at the term British anyway. I don't want to be lumped in with the scots thanks and the Scots I know wouldn't want to be lumped in with me!

Mods - I reckon you might want to consider closing this as its only going to end up in a fight.

Hope things get better for you jojo

Oh! How I have missed your kind and eloquent prose :-x

Phdbug - its helps to make a distinction between real life and research. and like i said, just because what am going through doesn't make any sense to you, it doesn't invalidate the reality of it or how i feel about it. and yes, am very happy that i have options. and am not about to apologise about that. as for people not liking to work with me - again you're being very presumptous.

hmm as jojo has been such a prolific poster and been on here for a long time, maybe this is a wind up, or some kind of social experiment? PhDbug, don't you do research on forum use?

I did not say anything about people not wanting to work with you. It was someone else, in a different way.

So every person is being presumptuous?

And yes, I fully agree with you and have the same to say - "just because what am going through doesn't make any sense to you, it doesn't invalidate the reality of it or how i feel about it"

And what follows is - do not generalise based on individual anecdotes.

Sneaks, I could write pages on these things lol! 'online lurking' and such like is soooooo common! Although perhpas this may be different, but this does happen a lot.

I'm so jealous of your researh bug - I reckon I could knock out a chapter on 'forum use to procrastinate and stop going insane by just talking to the cats'

In all honesty :) I work with children and not with forums but other web stuff lol!! Wish you could be commissioned as an expert contributor sneaks-- 4 commissioned reports four from me - that would be a collaborative phD!!!