Hi Kathryn, No one should feel reduced to a panic attack at the thought of socialising with colleagues. Maybe some counselling would help? Or a drama class... Although I'm guessing you'd hate the idea. If you are really that averse to work chit chat and social life then academia ain't for you either. You must know this. Being able to beaver away alone is only a brief spell in anyone's career, and not even all PhD students get that chance.

I think you're either going to have to find a way to improve your social.skills and tolerance or design a life for yourself that is isolated but practical. Some people disappear and live alone in caves and so on, so it is possible.

The other thing is, most academics I know, at least the good and successful ones, are bursting to talk about their subject. Enthusiasm and passion make them reach out to others. If you don't have that it will show.

You could be correct here but the thing is that most of us are (or will be) more or less in the same situation as Kathryn15, I also have finished PhD (sometimes happy I did it sometimes regretting it), have published papers and done two postdocs, lectured at universities, have family obligations and and still not properly employed and live on a postdoc salary which just above the poverty line. My husband has recently got laid off and my contract also will end by end of this year. But this is not only for me. Out of 4-5 people which did PhD together, only one has a permanent government job (which he had it before getting into PhD) and the rest are either unemployed (at least two of them, including my best friend), underemployed (one) or does a postdoc like me. The thing is complaining about the situation ain't gonna work, especially when you expect that universe goes around you so you feel happy.

Time has changed, old models of society, work, jobs, social class, lifestyle, jobs, retirement, income, family etc etc are changing beyond our recognition and no matter how much we whine and complain nothing is going to change. So better wait and see what future brings us with a little bit of dignity not self resentment.

It's just a sinking feeling... I can't go home at 5pm, instead I have to socialise with colleagues after work and it's just another chore. I have to put on my fake "social" face and pretend I'm interested in small talk, and think of things to say. It's exhausting. I'd prefer to be at home with my cat and family.

One of the reasons I liked being a PhD student was because I was mostly left alone to get on with my work without anyone interfering. I actually do ok with teaching because it's very structured interaction where we're discussing pre-defined topics. I don't have to be chatty or witty and nobody has to like me.

That may be true, but I still feel entitled to be angry and bitter. From being a child I was sold the idea that education leads to decent employment and a good salary, but instead it's been a waste of time and money and has made me unemployable. I'm aware that many people have had the same experience, but that doesn't make me any less bitter. Maybe that is ultimately the problem.

I don't know you Kathryn, and I'm not going to judge, but I think nearly the entire problem here is your outlook on life.

I've struggled from anxiety, burnout, and I'm pretty sure almost depression at times during the PhD, and I know how negative the world can look. However, I reassessed my life, where it was going, and I'm back on track. I spoke to someone professionally about this.

Again, I don't know you, so forgive me if this is way out of line, but have you considered counselling for your negative outlook on life, but also confidence in social situations?

What struck me most was the fact you found the isolation of the PhD the most rewarding part, when most people find that the most UNenjoyable part.

Social anxiety and negativity will only get worse if left untreated.

Forgive my rather forward suggestions, but I think this is a deeper seated problem than just not being able to find work. Calling yourself unemployable when you have a PhD is not a rational statement.

From being a child, we'd been told a lot of things that did not happen to be completely true, i.e. tooth fairy and santa, but had their own usage as long as we believed in it.

I am sure you'd been told education leads to lot of good things and they did! Just think about the alternatives if you did not listen to whoever told you about goodness of education. However, I bet you chose to do the PhD and pretty much we all know and (knew) that PhD is not about good jobs and salaries. So you yourself created this alter reality that a PhD leads to higher salaries and decided to go for it.

You cannot undo what you believed and acted in the past but you can do things about present and future. Just think about other things that we'd been told (as adults), such as old age issues and retirement, that will not come true. So what you going to do when you are 65 and there will be practically no retirement money for you?

In fact, it is not that long ago that, depending on the subject, a PhD led to higher salaries. At least statistics often show that they earn more money on average. A lot of people are not aware of the situation of PhD students and automatically expect that you earn a lot of money after graduation. Maybe not the student who majored in history but several others.



I think that is a bit strange. At some point in you life you met your husband. I assume that it was not an arranged marriage so there had to be some sort of socialising ;) You also like your family, so why do you expect that everyone else out there is horrible? I get that some people are simply not the going-out-type but some smalltalk in the office can't be that hard. There have to be some acceptable colleagues. Otherwise I would say that this is more than just being introvert and of course a handicap, because there are only a few jobs where you can completely shut yourself from everyone else. All company work needs communication. Academic work too. At least my supervisors told me that networking is half the job in terms of funding and collaborations.

Starting your own business might be a good idea if you think you are not capable of adapting to the work environment in a company. It's of course difficult to realize..

Well at the bare minimum being pleasant and generally a likable person (in general), and I only say this because at the end of the day people must want you to join and stay in their department as a colleague, and search committees ask themselves to a greater or lesser extent "do I want to work with this person?"

I see what you mean. There's consulting firms, the UN alphabet soup of orgs and obviously big firms in industry you could try to penetrate and apply your expertise to. You could come back to academia after working in the field some as I have seen professors do it where their 'real world' experience is definitely seen as a value added.

Other than that, if you are bent on academia right now, then its pretty much try to publish right now independently (daunting I know) or do the temporary teaching fellow gig. Sure its unstable but it gives you an in to the institutions and you will have to try to publish during the very little free time (holidays).

The REF is indeed a vicious double edged sword but its as a PhD you can get your £50-80k a year outside academia in your appropriate industry

Like it or not, this is par for the course. Even if you only stay an hour then excuse yourself for childcare reasons, it shows willing, making a massive difference in colleagues' perceptions of you!!!

Referring to my earlier post and comments you've made since, I was also in the situation that my research record wasn't current. Yes, I tried to publish my existing data and managed to push out several papers from it. Glancing at scholar.google.com shows people are reading and citing them.

However, an additional problem was academic and research posts were going to fresh PhD graduates and I basically stood no chance. I'm still in the real world job I mentioned I'd found earlier. A point comes you have to admit that not everything follows that golden path you might have planned for yourself, simply to ensure you're earning a wage. It's also easier to find a job when in a job.

I'll be blunt. Your PhD is only important to you. Be proud of your achievement, but don't believe the world owes you more because you can call yourself "Doctor".

Ian

hi kathryn, hi everyone
I can totally relate to the difficulty of landing a job! I have just been to one unsuccessful interview, oh well. There's very good advice in this thread, definitely. Thanks for sharing everyone

love satchi