I started my PhD nine moths ago and since then a senior member of staff appeared to develop a romantic interest in me. I had no interest in him and made this clear. Since then he has spread a number of rumours about me (suggesting I had tried to have an affair with a married colleague) and also informed my supervisor that I had lost focus on my PhD because I was spending too much time assisting MSc students. None of this was true but it has affected my standing within the department. It appears that colleagues simply love good gossip. I know that the university has systems for dealing with this kind of thing but I have seen other people take that approach and all that happened was that the injured party ended up leaving and the harasser type got promoted! Despite the problems I really want to finish my PhD. Does anybody have any ideas about how to save my reputation (and my PhD placement) and shut this guy up?

Hi Elizabeth,

First off, this guy is totally out of order and you shouldn't have to put up with anything like this in a place of work. I am going to PM you about this, but felt it should be said publically that this sort of behaviour in the work place counts as sexual harrassment.
Its not right that anyone should feel uncomfortable or be pressured in this way, regardless of age, gender or seniority of the other parties involved.
it may sound overly dramatic to some people to use the terms 'sexual harrassment' but I think we need to be clear- these sorts of rumours and bad mouthing and unwanted advances can ruin peoples work and their lives. It should always be stopped at the very beginning, and I would like to encourage my peers on this sight to support their colleagues that they see being treated in this way: help them, pay attention to what is going on -don't spread gossip. Don't just go along with the inappropriate comments made about your colleagues private lives, looks etc. Be a good colleague, foster a collegiate atmosphere where everyone can feel comfortable to pursue their research, where everyone feels respected for the work they do and the other aspects of their lives don't matter.

Cobweb.

Hi, I'm new to the forum.

I agree with the bulk of what cobweb has already said. This harrassment is destructive and unprofessional. There should be facilities within your student union to help on a one-to-one level. For example from my own university Heriot-Watt we have "The advice hub" which is a drop-in service that operated during the day http://www.hwunion.com/content.asp?section=4 I'm confident your university will have an equivalent. They should then be able to point you in the right direction on how to deal with the scenario you've been unfairly dropped into in a professional manner.

I fully agree with the other posts and would also suggest if he has done this once then chances are he has done it to others too. This sort of person never behaves like this once. Get some help and keep your head held high. You can get through this!

As much as I hate to be the voice of dissent, I would think very carefully about what you do.

If you want a future academic career, forget it. Academia is a closed, tight knit world and don't expect to ever get a job in it if you make a complaint like this. I'm not saying it's right or justified or whatever, it sucks big time, but this is life.

You yourself have seen what happens and will probably follow the same fate - if you follow through with it, prepare for consequences, as they'll be there. Again, not right at all, but it's how it is sadly and won't change any time soon.

Keep committed to your PhD, show your supervisor you are focused and interested and avoid this toss*er as much as you can. But you need to think about your future too.

(Yes I know, I'm a gloomy voice but I'm old and jaded about the reality of life!)

DanB - I'm old and jaded too. Thats why my advice is the opposite - its the fear of repercussion that keeps women quiet, and quite frankly why people think they can get away with things like this. Its even harder for men under this sort of pressure to come forward because they are meant to take it all in their stride (and find it funny).
I'm not suggesting Elizabeth must go through a formal system of complaint, there are many ways to deal with this problem. However, I have been in her situation in previous jobs,(once made the complaint, once not) and I have also been in the position of managing staff and writing policy around sexual harassment and having to enforce it. Its important that we move forward by challenging this sort of beheviour not just letting people get away with it until we are the senior member of staff.

Letting senior members of staff behave this way could ruin her phd, could ruin her confidence, could ruin her desire to work in academia at all.

Its not just Elizabeths responsibility to address this - its the responsibility of all of us to change things.
Would you tell a black colleague to keep quiet about racial slurs or discrimination?
Something like this will not stop you getting a job in the future, any more than the rumours already being spread. (I stayed in the same sector in the same area where I made the complaint and have successfully got jobs since) Most people hate this sort of behaviour, its fear that we're in the minority that keeps us quiet - don't rock the boat. The boat needs rocking on behalf of people like Elizabeth. We are not the minority, Dan himself said that this behaviour is out of order. RIght.

Please don't take keep quiet. If you see this sort of thing happening be supportive of your colleagues. You have no idea how demoralising it can be to think you are alone in something like this.

Elizabeth - i am not trying to make you the martyr to the cause. You need to handle it in a way that feels comfortable for you and makes sense of your relationships within the department. I am just loath to leave a comment like DanB's hanging.

It just is not true that you will not get a job in academia if you make a complaint like this. It needs saying for the sake of others on the site.

We had many threads on problems with supervisors/ colleagues in the forum, although I don't think they ever touched this particular aspect.
I always tended to agree with a "softer" approach, as DanB suggested, for the very same reasons that he argued here. I have never been in the position that Elizabeth describes, but I can say that, for different reasons, I was in an equally difficult situation.

The reality is that had I chosen to speak out I would have almost certainly ended leaving the PhD, which personally I would have found devastating. I decided to go for the snail approach, and I did complete with flying colours. However, six months after graduation and looking for future options, the reality is kicking in: certain kind of people/ behaviours and situations are going to affect your personal/ professional future anyway.

When I think about applying for a post I shrink at the idea of having to approach those people for a reference. It is hard to see how they continue to plot and pilot people and things without the least concern, and looking at my daughter I thought what this entire situation would teach her about meritocracy, commitment and professional conduct. Should I tell her that all the values I believed in are rubbish and that she should follow their example when she is grown up and trying to build up her career?

I think that it is a mentality that needs to change in the first place it's not the victim who has to change/ accommodate anything!- and although I am conscious that we live in a deeply selfish society I endorse what Cobweb said, and I sincerely hope that Elizabeth will find a way to solve this situation that is both comfortable for her and does not endanger her chances of career development.

Thank you Cobweb for expressing so well what it should be a top concern for everyone.

C.

Thank you all so much for your kind words of support. They have made a huge difference in the way I have been feeling and have also helped me approach my situation differently.

Quite frankly I was embarrassed that this bloke ever thought he stood a chance with me and terribly hurt that people had listened and believed his spiteful rumours. Initially I wanted as few people as possible to know what had been said in the hope that it would just go away. Clearly that was a mistake as my department loves gossip and would not let the truth get in the way of a salacious scandal!

So………following the support I received from you guys I decided to tell as many people as possible about the kind of things that had been said about me and expressed my upset and confusion about how these rumours could have started. I have now told half the department (the other half are on holiday!) and every single person has been kind and supportive. Two people actually mentioned they had noticed how this guy was towards me but they had not wanted to say anything for fear of repercussions. The culture here is quite ingrained so I do not think this joker is going to stop his vindictive behaviour. However, now that I have confided in colleagues I feel a lot better about it and hope that I will be able to brush it off for the nonsense that it is.

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I had my own problems during second post-doc and the one this many are up against is the University closing ranks to protect it and the department's reputation. In many cases, people will tread carefully so as not to create a situation so they aren't 'inched' out of University life. (((In my case, I believe they erroneously employed me then decided straight away they wish they'd not offered me the job before I even got started. When you're sitting in your very first meeting on starting with your new boss and he says to your assigned mentor that you're a "Stop gap measure, very much a second choice, we'l just have to make do" whilst you're in the room as though you're not there, you can gather what the following year was like.)))

In your case, the situation arose regardless of what you did. You appear to have done nothing wrong. In such a case, you have to stand up for yourself and your strategy to ensure your side of the story was the one that was heard by everyone was thus the right one.

With a bit of luck, the Dean of Faculty will get wind of this and want to know what the hell is going on. Hopefully the gentleman will be moved on quietly (again to protect University reputation) and you won't have to put up with him for too much longer.

Perhaps one day, Universities will behave more like the rest of society and people who make the working environment intentionally difficult for others for whatever reason will feel the repercussions of their actions.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)