waiting for viva and loosing my mind

S

i know you will tell me that i should be happy after my writing is finished, but I am not, I never been this miserable, I want to get it done and move on.
I cannot find a job I like and the clock is ticking

:-(:-s this seem never ending, from one difficult stage to another one.

S

I know that this is going to sound incredibly cliched and saccharine like, but take heart that you are at the right end of it all :-) It must be so incredibly strange now having completed the writing but still waiting - more hoops, more time, more anxiety, but you're so nearly there! I'm not sure how you fill your time when you've worked so hard, suddenly stop, but still have to remain at full speed mentally in preparation for the final hurdle. Hopefully those here who are completely finished can help you through this, I'm still stuck in the mire of data collection so can only envy you from afar ;-)

You'll get there, another little while and it will all be over, you'll be Dr Someone, have a great job and it will all have been worth it and this will seem like a distant nightmare!

S

Hello Stressed,

I should call my self stressed as well, am always stressed. Thanks for the nice, touching and encouraging words, it sounded so sincere, am really touched, thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much :$. Strangely your words made me a little bit better, it felt nice that someone out there is listening and caring enough to write a reply, that is a huge relief.

I voted for you by the way.(up)

R

Someone3, I know what you mean! I thought I should be really happy after I submitted, and I was, for a few days, but then I started to worry about the viva and whether what I'd written was ok or not. It was a horrible, stressful time when I felt really unsure of myself and like you, I just wanted to move on with something else. It is a weird, depressing sort of limbo you're in, you can't do any more work on your thesis but there are still a few hurdles to jump over before it's really finished.

It probably doesn't feel like it, but you have done the bulk of the work and you are so near the end now, the misery will soon be over forever! I felt absolutely exhausted after submitting, mentally and physically, so I tried to make more of an effort to look after myself so I was rested by the time the viva happened. I also tried to do enjoyable, non-PhD-related things, and spent more time with friends and family, as well as doing absolutely nothing (!) to remind myself of what I would have more time for after the viva. I found the book by Rowena Murray about 'How to Survive Your Viva' useful for preparing for it, though I didn't really do much revision. I probably left it a bit late in retrospect as I was quite sick of my whole thesis by then and couldn't bear to open it, let alone revise, but I was glad I forced myself, though it felt like I needed to dredge up superhuman powers to do it at the time.

It is another difficult stage in the PhD process, but very nearly the last one you will have, so if you can keep going and bear the misery for a bit longer, you can move on afterwards. I know I've moaned a lot elsewhere today on this forum, but it is very nice to finish a PhD, regardless of anything else! :-)(up)

S

======= Date Modified 09 Nov 2009 19:27:28 =======
Hello Ruby,



That was a an accurate description of how I'm feeling now, wow !!!

yeh, one of my big problems is i can not even look at my thesis, thanks for sharing, that is huge relief.

do you really feel happy after? am so pessimistic to be honest, worried about finding a job, and if I find it, am worried I might hate it, I just can not go through the ups and downs of PhD again, but at the same time I like the challenges of research, it is mind stimulating.

Any way, thank you very much, I have voted for you too as helpful user.





8-)

;-)

R

Yes, it was interesting having the feeling of not wanting to open my thesis, while others were telling how great an achievement it was! It seemed a contradiction. I'm far happier now, as if a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Or a millstone from round my neck, or any other cliche you can think of.

Just after I'd been spreading my flu-addled misery around other threads yesterday, I heard that my post-viva corrections had finally been accepted by my examiners, so I don't have to do any other work on that thesis now, ever! It's taken a nagging worry away that kept popping up in my mind, that perhaps something would go wrong at the final stage and I'd never be able to leave it behind me.

I'm looking forward now to developing bits of research that I couldn't include in my thesis, whatever happens with my job, as I can't seem to stop having ideas for new projects. I'll be able to think about my job situation more clearly too, without the PhD hanging over me. And a colleague is setting up a meeting with her publisher to turn my thesis into a book, which is nice!:-)

If you can manage it, maybe try not to think about getting a job right now unless one appears that you have to apply for, as it will distract you from getting your PhD finished. It's not long to go now, so maybe it would be best to put all your energy into completing? After that, you can move on without the pressure of an imminent viva. Good luck, it really is near the end! (up)

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