What a sorry state

S

This all sounds so normal to me :-) I was worrying that I was alone in closely resembling an old, eccentric bag lady who needs urgent surgical attention - I do like the idea of handing out plastic surgery vouchers - I could also do with a tummy tuck by the end of this... lipo.... facelift...... etc etc etc - stuff it - a whole new me! I may steal a teenager's body and use that instead - ahhh for the world of sci fi! I worry that not only am I becoming very withdrawn and rather nutty, but that I don't feel well, like ever.... so tired, so stressed out, so depressed. Why in the name of holy cat sh*t do we do this to ourselves??? I used to be a normal person, you know, one that washed their clothes, washed themselves, went out, didn't sit at a desk all day muttering about abstract concepts - I had a life God dammit!!!! I'm frantically trying to work out why I thought this would be a good idea, I'm also trying to work out why my sup who I've known since I started the BA as a fresh faced, normal person, hates me so much that he encouraged me into this living hell... ahh well, I'm sure in years to come I will look back on this and smile - ok, so I'll be sitting in a corner rocking and drooling at the time, but at least I won't have deadlines ;-)

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