What Am I Doing??!!

M

Hi everyone!

This is my first post here though I've been entertaining myself with yours for a while - and I'm getting more and more addicted!

This my first year as a PhDer (first progress meeting looming in 2 weeks time - gulp...), and I'm also a GTA so lots of marking and planning on top of researching for my subject (in Humanities). I'm also a mum to the most adorable 2 and a half year old (terrible twos? what terrible twos??! see the irony here...) and I'm starting to wonder what exactly I'm letting myself in for...

Whenever I'm researching I feel like I should be planning better lessons, whenever I'm marking I feel like I should spend more time with my child, whenever I spend time with my child I feel like all my free time is spent and I have no more time for my hubby, who bears the grunt of my bad moods.

Where has my life gone??

Anyone feels the same?

S

I definitely feel like that! I'm writing up this year (my 4th) so I'm not teaching - but I still have my 3 yr-old to compete for my attention. My husband will VERY pleased to see me finish this thing! In fact I should be working away right now....

M

Hi Smilodon! Glad to see I'm not alone!!

Also very reassuring to see that you can come out of it still alive - hats off to you for being in your 4th year!

According to my calculations, you had your little one when studying? Am I right? In which case that's another reassuring sign - we're planning our second one once I get my 1st year out of the way. Crazy I know but Phds can wait; my biological clock can't unfortunately! That's my reasoning anyway.

Good luck with the work

:-)

S

I had her at the end of my second year. I took a year out and did a bit of writing during that time. I then took another year out but actually worked 2 days/week and then 3 days/week last year and this year (plus Saturdays). So the idea was that I would make the remaining year part-time over 2 years without officially going part-time (since that would cause funding headaches). So although this is technically my 4th year it's actually my 6th year - and it feels like it:p

I'd had a lot of problems with this project and I was quite behind schedule when the baby arrived. The teaching last year didn't help. Now I'm definitley keen to get to the end!

M

Waow! I admire your tenacity! I bet you will feel very proud of yourself for achieving so much in those 6 years, and you should probably feel like that already - I'm only 2 months into it and I can already see all the sacrifices I (and my poor hubb!) will have to make in order to make it all work.

S

Do you have any day time childcare? I couldn't manage without it but is a pain financially - and then there is the guilt .....

B

I feel the same!

Now in second year, also GTA (actually GTF, so a bit more admin :-( and marking).
3 kids - 8, 6 and 1.
Wife who works lots of hours.
Also do a bit of self employed work to pay the mortgage.

Life is just one huge balancing act, involving lots of running around and a few too many excuses. It's hard to concentrate on what I'm doing, as I keep thinking about all the things I should be doing.

Good fun really though, isn't it?! Wouldn't change it for the world :)

M

Yes Smilodon, I know the feeling - without my son's childminder I wouldn't have time to work, even though it does swallow a huge chunk of our income and doesn't sit sit too well with the extra conscience that came with motherhood. Hubby works a lot; he gets a reasonable salary (although he wouldn't agree!!) but we have been dispensing with any kind of luxuries and it looks like we'll be doing so for the forseable.

But I totally agree Barnaby, it is good fun! My contract says I'm a GTF too - I wasn't aware that there was a difference between GTFs an GTAs, aside from the terminology...Could you enlighten me?

B


But I totally agree Barnaby, it is good fun! My contract says I'm a GTF too - I wasn't aware that there was a difference between GTFs an GTAs, aside from the terminology...Could you enlighten me?


I think it's different at different unis, but at my place GTAs are hourly paid and work on an ad-hoc basis. GTFs do the same job, but are on a fixed contract and salary with a certain no. of hours a week.

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