You are not alone in being a blood-donating loser.

My first attempt, the blood would not flow out of my arm, no matter how much I pumped that little rubber thingy with my hand - ended up with a grumpy nurse (like it was my fault!) who ripped the needle out in disgust after I had only filled half a bag because I was "too slow".

Second time, all going well until a nurse dropped a bag of blood from another donor on the floor and splash, blood everywhere. Too much for queezy me and my blood pressure went through the floor. When I came round, I had 3 nurses, my mum and my sister peering down at me in concern, a fan blowing on my face and my feet up in the air. They politely suggested I wait a couple of years until I try again.

Wish I was a bit more robust so I could be a regular donor.

At my last blood donation session, the malke nurse kept telling me how great a job it was as he got to chat to all these girls lying on their beds. He then started chatting one up to the extent that, when my bag thingy started bleeping, he missed it for almost five minutes, and then made me get up as soon as he'd taken the needle out, even though I ususally have a lie there for a couple of minutes. Result - a rather rapid meeting with the floor, followed by an hour of lying down.