why am I doing this!!!!

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Hi guys,
I just need to blow off some steam right now. I'm having a day that just seems to yo-yo up and down, but it feels like its been going on for months. As some of you may know from my previous posts I'm on supervisors 2&3 due to a dispute with my first supervisor. when my new supervisors they were here in my second year things went a lot better. I won't say smoothly but better, now I'm faced with my main supervisor on maternity leave and the co-sup just been promoted to chair at another Uni (he is try his best to keep in touch but its hard).The post docs left behind are very knowledgeable but not my area of research and aren't being very encouraging in the slightest, the meeting this morning was just a do it again cos they can't think of any decent constructive input. I've had a fight with my finance department to ship something DHL and when I put the chemicals together to be shipped I discovered one of them that was un-opened has gone "missing" in another does of departmental "borrowing" despite all the other chemicals that came in the shipment being there.I need the chemicals for Weds to run synthesis work. On the plus side the uni have finally paid me my expenses and teaching work I did back in September!!!If I was on the staff this wouldn't have happened. I'm sick of being treated like I don't matter. I had some time off the other week, but it just wasn't enough. Its not likely I'm going to get any more off with my final 9 months looming large- to make matters worse my office mates already seem to have the bones of their thesis done when in reality what they've done won't even count as a chapter in the eyes of my new supervisors. I'm totally depressed and I still don't have an optimized system. makes me wonder why I'm doing all of this!! Sorry to rant guys but I feel like I'm at the end of my patience.

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