I don't want to divorce! But would I have to?

B

Hello! For a bit of background, I'm an international student in Australia and I've recently graduated with a Masters in Marketing, with a distinction. I grew to work well with my supervise of my dissertation, let's call her Dr. Ambitious and after that went well, we discussed working on my PhD too, with her as my supervisor. There were several conundrums in my subconscious which I ignored for a long time, but now I can't ignore them much longer.

1. Dr. Ambitious just got her PhD in 2016 and is an early career researcher. She is well-recognised, won awards and is ambitious. But with all this ambition, comes the fact that she can never say no. She has the tendency to take on a tonne of projects and other work, which leaves her with little to no time for research. In fact, she hasn't published anything for 2 years now, because of this (this came from the horse's mouth). She already has two other PhD students. Her feedback is fine, but she tends to lack eye for detail, and one of her current PhD students agrees with me. As a result, I feel she may not be able to allocate much time for me, along with her lack of experience.

2. Dr. Ambitious is particularly close to another lecturer in the same School. Let's call her Dr. Free Loader (FL), because that's exactly what she is. Dr. (FL) has been third author on two paper I've published. While she did contribute with feedback on my first paper, she hasn't done anything to deserve third authorship on my second. I've read the rules of authorship, so I'm not talking through my hat. She deserves an acknowledgement at best. Now, the other day, Dr. Ambitious TOLD me, instead of ASK me, that Dr. FL would be my second supervisor for my PhD. I dislike this approach, considering it is MY PhD and I should be able to decide who I want to work with.

To be continued.

B

3. The university where I am in now, doesn't particularly allow for independent research- research on something I'm interested in. A PhD aspirant has to bend to the rules and themes of the School to fit in. I don't agree with this, especially because my area of interest doesn't match up too well with the theme. Dr. Ambitious told me that if I wanted to do a PhD with her, I'd have to follow the theme. I would basically be forcing myself to research on something I don't particularly have any interest in.

4. I can ask another lecturer to supervise me. I have cordial relations with all lecturers. But the nature of relations between the lecturers in the School is so tight-knit, I'm afraid it may cause friction if I go to another lecturer in the same school.

5. Australia doesn't offer PR for international students, unless their course falls under the given professions on the SOL. Marketing isn't one of them. I am aware that track tenure jobs are growing lesser by the year, and for me, there is no guarantee of a job or permanent residency after graduating. I was in an absolute soup after finishing my Masters, because I couldn't get a job and I actually went into the research line, to occupy my time. Thankfully, I actually love research, so it's not a burden. In line with this thought, Canada offers me the opportunity to get PR and settle down in academia, which is very attractive to me right now. But this would mean, leaving my life back here and possibly disappointing Dr. Ambitious.

Based on all these pointers, I honestly feel like leaving and going to Canada, which just has more certainty, along with the points about Dr. Ambitious. What do you think? I want to hear your thoughts!

And go!

Avatar for rewt

Hi Bloop,

Are you married or something? As when you say "divorce" in the title it suggests there is a relationship or do you mean that you want to quit your PhD?

It sounds like your supervisor is inexperienced but that happens. Mine finished her PhD in 2015 and I am first Ph.D. student so I am in a similar position. You got to remember she is just as inexperienced as you but she is actively working at it and learning from mistakes. She will make mistakes but she will also probably put far more effort into getting you across the finish line than other supervisors as you are her first one. She may be super busy but it sounds like she is making time for you, which is a very good plus as a lot of supervisors barely respond. She may lack an eye for detail but maybe ask other PhD students to proofread and vice versa?

About dr Freeloader, we all know those freeloaders/second supervisors that are annoying but what harm are they doing? A third name on a paper isn't that much in the grand scheme of things but I know that it is annoying but you may be able to return the favor one day. Also did you not want a second supervisor or want to chose your own? Because having a second supervisor is always bloody useful and if you chose your own you could always have the dreaded supervisors not agreeing situation. Remember you are a still student.

You complain about the research focus, not 100% aligned with your interests but that is a sad sad part of academia. Unis get money from universities to research particular things and if you want their money stick with it, there is less and less unallocated money these days. If you really want a career in academia you better get used to following the money.

How far into the PhD are you? As it is always easier to quit the earlier through it you are but the grass is not always greener.

T

Hi, Bloop,

Let's evaluate. You have an inexperienced first supervisor who is not supervising you properly on a project you have little interest in. Supervision is key to your PhD success. While Dr FL is annoying, is she an experienced supervisor/established researcher who can add value to your research e. discuss data and troubleshoot issues, and maybe give you a great reference in future?Can you add some aspects of research that you are interested in into your project at a later date? Or would you consider changing supervisor/project?

I agree with rewt that a supervisor with little experience will make mistakes. However, I disagree that one has to put up with these mistakes at the cost of one's PhD quality. Your research fellowship/postdoc application does not distinguish between a fully supported PhD lab and one that was not. It is not necessarily true that a first time supervisor will put in extra effort to get you through. I know at least three students who had the unfortunate experience of becoming student no 1 who was neglected while the supervisor was trying to establish his/her lab. Besides, the supervisor generally will not put their best idea forward for student no 1 because they know they have better chance of success when they have established networks/collaborators, have established a research team with trained technicians, have preliminary data and know the academic system better. In other words, generally PhD student no 2 or 3 gets better quality PhD project. I have seen many examples of this. An inexperienced PhD supervisor may have less knowledge to discuss/troubleshoot problems and their reference letter may not be as highly regarded as an experienced/established one.

If one of your main aims of a PhD is to stay in the country that you did your PhD, perhaps you may wish to strongly consider Canada.

It sounds like you have just started your PhD recently and have little to lose if you leave your current PhD. Do think deeply and do what is best for you. Good luck.

B

Quote From rewt:


How far into the PhD are you? As it is always easier to quit the earlier through it you are but the grass is not always greener.


Many thanks for your response, rewt! I will consider some of the things you've said. Since I've not yet started with my PhD, I still have time to weigh my options.

B

Hi tru, to answer your question about Dr. FL, no. She too received her PhD in 2016 and her area of speciality doesn't even align with mine. Hence, my concern. She does come to meetings, but doesn't contribute constructively.

I will be student No.3. However, her students 1 and 2, are visibly doing alright. Student 2 agrees with a lot of points I made above, but she is in a rut (had issues with a previous supervisor and was put with Dr. Ambitious because she was 'available').

I have not yet started my PhD, but about to. This is the point where I make my decisions, and I have to make them soon. Your response has given me the courage to step out of this rut I'm in, and to move forward for my own good, from a place that would otherwise only bog me down with his norms. Thank you!

J

Hi Bloop,

This is a very tricky situation to be in, but you hold all the power here. Remember that. I am a PhD student myself and something that my fellow students say to one another as a reminder (as we somehow always forget) is that this is YOUR PHD. You should be in the driving seat. You're doing most of the hard work. I agree that a nearly qualified academic may work harder to get you across the finishing line, i've seen that with my own eyes, however you would need a very experienced co-supervisor to support. I'm not sure what Australian universities are like but here in New Zealand some of my friends have 5 supervisors! I myself have three. Two very experienced supervisors and top academics in their field but also a relatively new academic who literally is by my side with everything I do. I am very lucky. Without a supportive and knowledgable team like that, i'm not sure I could confidently go on this long journey.

I've rambled a lot - but my advice to you would be not to settle. A PhD is a very daunting long road, and if you don't have a good strong team behind you, you may struggle and end up resenting the work you're doing.

Good Luck with your decision!

B

Quote From Jane92:


I've rambled a lot - but my advice to you would be not to settle. A PhD is a very daunting long road, and if you don't have a good strong team behind you, you may struggle and end up resenting the work you're doing.

Good Luck with your decision!


Thank you, Jane92! Your advice is very supportive. I sometimes have a tough time putting my foot down, but I don't think I'd be happy with being complacent. Your advice too, has given me the courage to make MY decisions about MY PhD.

Good luck with your PhD.

T

You might find this (especially the first part) helpful in making your decision (the part about what you should look for in a supervisor):

I don't think it's specific to that University of that subject.

http://personalpages.manchester.ac.uk/staff/alex.wood/phdinpsychology.html#11http://personalpages.manchester.ac.uk/staff/alex.wood/phdinpsychology.html

T

Ps. I get the divorce part! I've heard of student-supervisor relationships likened to marriage a few times. And when you decide to move on being termed as divorce. I certainly felt I'd left an obsessive, oppressive, and depressive partner when I "left" my supervisor!

Don't be frightened of divorce if it's the right thing for you!

Avatar for rewt

Quote From tru:
Hi, Bloop,

I agree with rewt that a supervisor with little experience will make mistakes. However, I disagree that one has to put up with these mistakes at the cost of one's PhD quality. Your research fellowship/postdoc application does not distinguish between a fully supported PhD lab and one that was not. It is not necessarily true that a first time supervisor will put in extra effort to get you through. I know at least three students who had the unfortunate experience of becoming student no 1 who was neglected while the supervisor was trying to establish his/her lab. Besides, the supervisor generally will not put their best idea forward for student no 1 because they know they have better chance of success when they have established networks/collaborators, have established a research team with trained technicians, have preliminary data and know the academic system better. In other words, generally PhD student no 2 or 3 gets better quality PhD project. I have seen many examples of this. An inexperienced PhD supervisor may have less knowledge to discuss/troubleshoot problems and their reference letter may not be as highly regarded as an experienced/established one.


Being the first Ph.D. student does mean your supervisor will make mistakes but you can also get far more skills and experience than being the second or third student. I am both my supervisor's first Ph.D. student but also the first student in a new research group. I have had to learn/develop several new techniques which I have already got 2 long external lab visits from. Because there is no real research group I am somehow collaborating with researchers from other countries instead. I don't have all the right lab equipment though I have learned so much amount the understanding methodologies to compensate.

An inexperienced but well-motivated supervisor isn't bad if you take is an opportunity to step up and don't expect to be spoon-fed everything. You just have to work harder for better results.

B

Quote From Tudor_Queen:
Ps. I get the divorce part! I've heard of student-supervisor relationships likened to marriage a few times. And when you decide to move on being termed as divorce. I certainly felt I'd left an obsessive, oppressive, and depressive partner when I "left" my supervisor!

Don't be frightened of divorce if it's the right thing for you!


Hi Tudor! Many thanks for those links and support! After much deliberation, I sought opinions on here and I think I've got the courage to go through with the divorce!

B



Being the first Ph.D. student does mean your supervisor will make mistakes but you can also get far more skills and experience than being the second or third student. I am both my supervisor's first Ph.D. student but also the first student in a new research group. I have had to learn/develop several new techniques which I have already got 2 long external lab visits from. Because there is no real research group I am somehow collaborating with researchers from other countries instead. I don't have all the right lab equipment though I have learned so much amount the understanding methodologies to compensate.


Rewt, I'm glad it's working out for you. But I think I'm a bit cautious in my approach and would personally not gamble or settle.

T

Quote From Bloop:
Hi tru, to answer your question about Dr. FL, no. She too received her PhD in 2016 and her area of speciality doesn't even align with mine. Hence, my concern. She does come to meetings, but doesn't contribute constructively.

I will be student No.3. However, her students 1 and 2, are visibly doing alright. Student 2 agrees with a lot of points I made above, but she is in a rut (had issues with a previous supervisor and was put with Dr. Ambitious because she was 'available').

I have not yet started my PhD, but about to. This is the point where I make my decisions, and I have to make them soon. Your response has given me the courage to step out of this rut I'm in, and to move forward for my own good, from a place that would otherwise only bog me down with his norms. Thank you!


BOTH supervisors are inexperienced, and one of them with a research area that doesn't align with yours? Yeah... my alarm bells just ring big time... But it sounds like you already know what you want to do... Yeah, divorcing now may save you lots of tears in the long run

T

Quote From rewt:


Being the first Ph.D. student does mean your supervisor will make mistakes but you can also get far more skills and experience than being the second or third student. I am both my supervisor's first Ph.D. student but also the first student in a new research group. I have had to learn/develop several new techniques which I have already got 2 long external lab visits from. Because there is no real research group I am somehow collaborating with researchers from other countries instead. I don't have all the right lab equipment though I have learned so much amount the understanding methodologies to compensate.

An inexperienced but well-motivated supervisor isn't bad if you take is an opportunity to step up and don't expect to be spoon-fed everything. You just have to work harder for better results.



Hi, rewt,

I completely agree with you that an inexperienced supervisor will allow the PhD student to gain far more experiences setting up assays & lab, optimising methods and learning how to adapt to limited resources. And I completely agree that you cannot be spoon-fed and that you will work harder than everyone else.

I completely get it- because I went through with that. I was the first PhD student of both my supervisors too and I developed and optimised ALL the assays for my project because there was none previously. There wasn't anyone within the group to ask about the methods, so I had to ask for help from external research groups and adapt from published literature. I worked long hours because there was just so much to do to achieve my milestones.

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