From a Humanities perspective, looking back, I would spend a good month just narrowing information down as much as possible into a set of bullet points which fill nothing longer than an A4 page. Out of this, eventually, you'll find where the main problem you wish to address is, and you'll have an inkling about your own position/answer to it. That's the point at which you'll truly start researching anything and you will constantly have to resist the temptation to slip back into trying to address everything you noticed and put down on that page.

Ditto.

Thanks for this…but I have not mentioned my gender.

Well congrats to you. Both for applying and for interviewing. Quite right. It shows how you have bags of ability and talent, and you're almost there. Yes, incognito's advice and Hazyjane's has been really helpful. I didn't think to NOT use my examiners as referees until they pointed it out! Keep going. So will I. We will get there!

Hi speccybear, thanks for your solidarity and sharing your perspective. I understand fully. But I would say say try to resist your negative feelings towards the examiners. Unfortunately, at this stage, we both have to jump through the hoops until completion. Until then, put those feelings aside because they're not too helpful. The parallels I share are how I defended myself well in the viva and was told to revise and resubmit within the year but have taken some time to turn the final thing around due to some pretty testing life events. I don't have to face another viva when i resubmit at least, but I would almost relish one. I do think my own examiners' comments made sense in the end, however. But I'm also struggling to get myself over the final hurdle. A feeling of being there but not there…the strangest feeling of inertia.

Sorry to be so neurotic (it's a curse!), but I am concerned that should I interview, the panel will ask me when I had my viva. This I won't be able to conceal as having happened a while ago. And then they will ask names of examiners etc too. Will having had it a while ago negate my chances, in your (or anyone else who's reading) opinion?

Really sound advice, incognito, it's great to hear your invaluable perspective. Fascinating that your supervisor advised you not to chase your externals for references. I think I will take that advice too, depending on how things develop in the coming period. I have other colleagues who could potentially referee me, but they haven't seen any of my work. Any advice there about approaching them and when? And is it too early for me to apply for a lectureship if I feel that I can get over the hill in the next few months?

Fled and Peppa, it's so kind for you to also show your solidarity. Appreciate it. Cheers.

Hi Claire, I recently joined this forum too. (See http://www.postgraduateforum.com/thread-31777/ ). I have had a very similar experience of your isolation, so can speak with some recognition of how you're feeling. I have lived nowhere near my university and the distance and isolation has taken a considerable emotional toll. It also affected the quality of my work to a degree. I think a support network of real people would have helped me immensely because it's what I tend to thrive on. I think the best I could have done was considered a Phd where I would have been geographically close to the department. I think the suggestions above are good ones and I would just like to register my solidarity and best wishes.

Dear Friends,

Bottom line:

Feeling inadequate although I know I have the talent. Watching my peers succeed in getting lectureships, feeling left behind.

My story:

I started my Literature/History PhD (Victorian literature) in 2004 by P/T affiliation because I couldn't afford to live at the university. I eventually submitted in 2011, but owing to some turbulent life events, holding down employment, and not really seeing my supervisor, I knew what I had submitted was a poor show of my abilities. The examiners said there were serious issues to address in the way the thesis was set up, so I was given 12 months in which to resubmit. My viva performance itself was strong. I was at my lowest ebb after the viva though, but somehow, I got back to work on the thesis. But then I was faced with some pretty awful new emotional hurdles/life events. I was granted a leave of absence from the thesis but I’ve somehow soldiered on. My supervisor is impressed with the chapters I have revised and I am now very close to finishing all the revisions the examiners suggested. When I resubmit, I am hopeful that I will pass strongly, because the work is much, much improved.

However, I feel inadequate and anxious. Almost all of the time. I see peers who have obtained lectureships and I wonder if I will ever get there too. I lack recent teaching experience because I’m living away from my university. I am published, however, with a good string of articles in encyclopedias. I am active in my research community in supporting/admin roles. And still, I worry that my examiners will hardly sing my praises when I apply for jobs. (Do you think that is true btw?)

In short, I’m wondering, has anyone else experienced a broadly similar trajectory? Have you gone on to secure a lectureship? Is there any advice anyone can give me in how to deal with this mess? I could do with it.

Thanks for reading this.