I have a 17 month old...it's not going to happen, sorry. You can't really discipline them at that age because they don't understand cause and effect. Trust me, she probably tries (God knows I do), but at that age it's just in one ear and out the other. You can't reason with them, and you can't rationalise with them, and they don't care if they're inconveniencing or upsetting someone else (in fact my little girl finds it hilarious the more upset/annoyed/disgusted I get!).

The timing is really awful, and honestly they should get the rest of the house carpeted to muffle some of it, but it looks like they're not doing anything wrong no matter how hellish it is to live with. If it's two weeks, I think the only answer is that you'll have to relocate during working hours to get it all written up. Even if you were to complain to the council or landlord or whatever, your submission date will be been and gone before they get round to investigating it. Don't let yourself get more stressed, remove yourself from the situation until the critical period has passed.

I agree that you need to take action sooner rather than later. We've had students in situations where the supervision hasn't been ideal and they've got to their viva and failed through not much fault of their own. Of course they have grounds for appeal, as you would, but in that case it means at least another year trying to pick everything up to the necessary standard.

I don't understand why a funding body wouldn't be interested in knowing that a student they are paying for is being left high and dry, I would have thought they would have been more concerned in their investment.

We do this with final year students and first year work. I don't agree with it at all. At the very minimum I would much prefer graduates acting as demonstrators, I'm not sure how much authority you can have when you haven't been through the entire process yourself yet.

They're not given anything difficult, having said that, and it's more or less black and white right/wrong answers for the tutorials, but even so it doesn't sit all that well with me. Plus there is as has been mentioned the fact they have plenty of their own work to do, as the bulk of the marking is at the end of the term when they are submitting their own reports and studying for their exams!

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Oops double post! :$

Yep, I recently had an interview for funding where I was getting asked all kinds of technical questions and a few times had to either say I don't know, or that my mind had gone blank and I was sorry but I couldn't answer. I got the funding anyway, they do know that people are hugely nervous at these things and most people will take it into account. The ones that don't are going to be a nightmare to work with anyway ;-) We did have a long discussion about a few other things that were less technical, and it felt like that was pretty comfortable, so I don't know if that was what swung it for me.

Oh and it took about a fortnight longer than they said for me to get the letter.

A PhD won't necessarily delay chartership versus being in work.

This article looks like it was made for you:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/feb/14/civil-engineering-doctorate-academic-career
It includes a link to the ICE's development objectives which have to be met for chartership to be awarded. However you achieve it the CEng should be your big ambition if you want a career in engineering.

Sounds like a problem either with loose connections in the hard drive, or an issue with the controller for the hard drive (on the motherboard). The most important thing is that you've managed to back it up, I guess it's not still under warranty? In terms of a complete reformat I doubt it'll help, it sounds more like an intermittent contact interruption somewhere which would, if that is the case, require a new hard drive.

If it's under warranty problem solved, take it back and get them to check the controller connection and replace the hard drive. If not, it can be repaired but needs someone who knows what they are doing.

Sounds a bit more like she's trying to convince herself that she is "busy busy busy" when she knows deep down she's not doing enough, and she's hoping you sympathise with her and agree. There's no point in you or your other friend pushing her about whether she's doing enough to submit - her response screams that she's not. I think she's pretty insecure and feeling over her head and perhaps sticking to office hours is an avoidance technique.

Her project isn't your responsibility though, it's hers, and if she doesn't complete then she needs to deal with whatever the consequences are. All you can do is be there for her at that point when it all comes crashing down, and in the meantime hope that I'm wrong and she does ok!

You haven't left this website up on your pc at work any time recently have you? You know, so that a certain someone would know your username and possibly be looking out for posts like this so they can step in and tell you it's all your fault? ;-)

There's not much you can do. Getting into a relationship with him when you weren't interested would've been more trouble than the rejection's been. He's behaving like a spoilt child who's been told he can't have the toy he wants - if he causes problems for your research, then you need to look out for number one and if that means supervisory intervention so be it. It's his problem, don't let it be yours as well and jeopardise your PhD as a result.

Yeah...I imagine you already have but try doing a search (or find? can't remember) in all files and folders for it. It's maybe just moved somewhere or might be in your temporary files or something.

Ugh going through this right now in a different uni. Currently got funding apps in with industry, EPSRC, the university itself, and a separate umbrella body - and waiting for news on them all. One has been in the pipeline for over a year. I'm going bonkers :-( So I can't offer any advice other than in academia, everything moves sloooooowwwwwlllllyyyy :-s Especially when you're looking for money.

Aww :( I assume you're getting treated for your depression at the moment - if not then you might need something just to take the edge off everything you're feeling here.

I finished my undergraduate degree with the Open University while also working full time and with a young daughter - she was 8 when I graduated. I COMPLETELY understand the guilty feelings you've got, and wow, they were awful. It doesn't matter what you're doing, you feel like you should be doing the other, right?

My advice to you is to take a bit of a step back and realise you can only do the best you can on any given day. Would there be any way to "schedule" your week a little bit more, so that you have, for example, Sunday as a family day for quality time, Saturday for errands, a night during the week just for you to spend time on *you* - no PhD, no kids, no housework. I think this is extremely important when you have so much on and it might seem counterintuitive, but it will let you rejuvenate yourself. Alternatively a morning at the weekend where you can go out yourself and have coffee and switch off. Maybe another weeknight where you catch up on some PhD work, stay late at uni, wherever you do the PhD work.

It might not be enough for you, but I found that knowing X day was with my husband and daughter, Y day was a day for working like a crazed beaver and cramming 24 hours into 10, Z evening was me-time...it helped a bit.

Heh, this is part of my problem, because I was thinking exactly along those lines - if there's other supervisors at least I'd have an option. However, trying to extract this information has proved impossible, so at the moment I don't know. I *assume* that there will be (it's a big project) but if there are, they will not be based at the University - in fact they'll be hundreds of miles away. Which is ok for email, but I'll be stuck with the other guy for face to face contact.

I have two possible options for a PhD (funding dependent of course, although it looks likely both will have funding one way or another). The problem is, one project would be really interesting and suited to my background, but with a really awful supervisor. Awful in the sense that even now before I start I have communication issues, e.g. he doesn't actually listen to anything I say, so that I can tell him something and a week later he'll ask me the same question again. I think the best way I could describe him would be "space cadet". The other project isn't in an area that I have much experience in (but I could easily adapt to), but isn't particularly interesting to me. But the supervisor is absolutely spot on, no nonsense, really clued in, and a lovely bloke.

I will be leaving a secure (albeit rubbish!!) job to do this PhD. I don't want to get 4 years down the line and fail, obviously, but it's even more pressing given that I've two kids and a mortgage and it would be a 4 year fruitless foray into research if it doesn't work out. On the plus side, my low pay means that with a stipend I'd be marginally better off. (up)

I am really at a bit of a loss as to what to do and what is going to be more important at the end of the day. I was hoping those of you in and doing it might be able to offer some advice!

There is never a "right time" to have a baby. There's always something you will need to do, other commitments, money being tight, going up for promotion...

In terms of close to being a right time, certainly after you relocate and once you're in a job with good maternity leave benefits and you're out of the qualifying period, so probably at least year after you start the job.

I think - and this is just my own opinion and I'm sure there's many who can prove me wrong - that you have a choice of either sacrificing time with your children for your career, or sacrificing your career for your children. At the moment I'm in kind of the reverse situation to you - my life (and career) is on hold because I have two children which means I am extremely restricted as to what I can do, where I can go, how much time I can spend on things.

I did feel like you did before I had my second baby, and I remember it well. It's horrible and it feels irrational and crazy, but there's nothing you can do to change how you feel. On the plus side, you've got a perfect opportunity coming up when your friend gives birth to get some extra baby experience under your belt before you're thrown into the lion's den yourself :)