Overview of Natassia

Recent Posts

mini confirmation viva- passed!
N

Fabulous, well done! I had something similar and didn't get through mine the first time, but it was still a constructive experience. Probably didn't do much for my confidence though!

Good luck with the rest of your research :-)

I have just done something really silly - advice please...
N

Just noticed you have five stars Ady - congratulations!

I did exactly that and they seemed quite happy, so hopefully tomorrow's meeting won't end in tears. I now have some teaching sorted for next semester so I'm happy about that!

Thanks, Natassia x

I have just done something really silly - advice please...
N

I have just submitted the introduction chapter for thesis, only 2000 words long and I am discussing it with my supervisors on Thursday, the deadline was today and I was faffing... I'm rubbish at submitting things at the best of times but as they weren't pleased with my last submission I was extra-concerned about this one.

I was asked to include a brief overview of the method - I am primarily using a narrative approach, but also doing a small autoethnographic study at the beginning, as part of the main study rather than a pilot though. In my introduction I only mentioned the narrative method and completely forgot the autoethnography, although it will be comparatively smaller (haven't started actual the research yet) it is still important, especially in terms of the theoretical approach.

Of course I feel like a real idiot, do you think I should wait until Thursday to admit this to my supervisors, hoping they won't notice (a possibility), or email them tomorrow to tell them I've realised what I've missed out? I'm thinking more the latter, as surely I'd look worse for not mentioning it at all? I haven't focused on my methods section for a little while as I've been doing my literature review.

Thanks, Natassia

I'm back... and struggling with my introduction chapter and a loss of confidence.
N

Hi, have delayed replying on this thread because something happened to the page and I can't see the whole page as the advert on the right-hand side cuts it short, so I haven't been able to read the replies properly! But I get the gist of them, so thank you again.

I think I'm lucky in that my supervisors are consistently good at giving detailed and fair feedback which makes sense, so I have no problems there. A friend/colleague who recently passed his PhD with no corrections (!) sent me his thesis so I could have a look at his intro and that helped a lot, even though his was 3000 words more than they've given me this time and it looked like a masterpiece I'd never be capable of producing. I'm nearly finished and have until Tuesday so feeling ok about it now, hopefully my supervisors will be satisfied this time.

Pjlu - you're right about those feelings taking a while to really go away. If I'm feeling brave when I have my supervision I might bring it up with them.

Natassia

'Lookism': have you experienced it during your PhD?
N

Lughna, that is awful, obviously what happened with your job but also that your GP didn't understand depression properly and was so dismissive. I read an article in the news quite recently about a young woman (who happened to be beautiful) who was in a psychiatric hospital somewhere in the UK as she had severe depression; tragically she took her own life while in hospital. Her mother was saying that she never thought the doctors took her depression seriously as she was so pretty and successful, so that is a dangerous consequence of lookism I suppose. It is a terrible misconception that being attractive and 'having it all' should make one immune from depression.

In terms of getting jobs, I'm not so sure if it affects things in the way you suggest. I am the youngest (nearly 24, 2nd year) PhD student and tutor in my department, and I do have comments made about my age sometimes, even from students which can be a little disheartening when they don't believe that I am their tutor. I have the feeling that my age and looks go against me sometimes, even though I am not really looking for an academic post at the moment as I have only just started my 2nd year. I make an effort with my appearance and wear quite a lot of makeup, and sometimes I have a feeling that people might think I am a but superficial for that reason. I apply my makeup well and don't look like a tart, have been wearing it since I was 13 so have had plenty of practice, but I wear quite a bit more than most of the women in my department so I do think I am being judged sometimes. I'd love to have the confidence to wear less, but I really don't, and I'm used to wearing it. It's probably less of a big deal than I think, but I do feel a little insecure about my looks and my age sometimes.

Natassia

I'm back... and struggling with my introduction chapter and a loss of confidence.
N

Hi, thank you all for replying, I'll try to respond to everything.

My supervisors are very good with giving detailed and fair feedback, and it appears to be consistent. They generally agree with each other as well which is helpful. I do tend to agree with everything they say for those reasons, and because I trust them to know what is right. I don't want to cause any sort of comflict with them and so I'm just going with what they say, at this stage anyway.

Dalmation - I have some very good friends and colleagues who are happy to read my work for me, I often send them drafts before I submit anything, although I didn't have time to do this with the last piece. I think that it definitely helps when they do look at my work, although they don't always pick up on things my supervisors would it is nice to have someone say that it is readable.

Corinne - I am in the social sciences so I think my introduction chapter will be of a similar length to yours, I think my supervisors are only asking for 2000 words initially so that it will encourage me to be more disciplined with my writing, as this is one of my weaknesses. It is rather difficult to write the introduction before collecting any data (have only started my literature review up until now), but I think this will still help me.

Jane - I haven't spoken to them about this loss of confidence as it has been the Christmas holidays, and I have only recently realised this for myself to be honest. I don't think I'll speak to them until my supervision next Thursday (and them only if it is relevant), as I don't want to appear as if I am bearing a grudge about the email incident, when they have apologised profusely about it already. I am not that type of person and I don't want them to think I am just making excuses for a poor performance.

Thank you for your inspiring story Tigger - good luck with your research! I have learnt something about confidence from reading that, but I think it takes a stronger person than myself to selectively ignore feedback. Sounds like it has worked for you though!

Olivia - I will have a look out for that book. The main problem with my writing that my supervisors comment on is that it is a bit jumpy and moves between areas in a way that is too quick for the reader, so I need to write in more detail. They said before that they are pleased that I have the confidence to do that, but I told them that it was probably more due to a lack of confidence, they seemed surprised at this and told me I should have more confidence, as they had confidence in me. They have said that I need to be more disciplined with my writing, which is why I think they're giving me shorter word limits. Overall they say that I have improved a lot, but obviously there is still a way to go. It is a little disheartening because during my BA and MSc my writing was always complimented and there were rarely any criticisms made of it, so I suppose I thought I was ok, although I knew that the PhD would be a big jump in terms of the expectations of my writing.

Thanks again for the replies,

Nx

I'm back... and struggling with my introduction chapter and a loss of confidence.
N

Hello everyone, I've been away from the forum for a little while, had a rather stressful few months but hopefully 2012 will bring some good luck. At the end of last term my PhD wasn't going terribly well, I usually get on well with my supervisors but there was a situation where I accidentally received an email from one of my supervisors (about myself), which was only intended to be sent to my other supervisor. It wasn't nice as it was informally written and quite critical about a piece of writing I'd submitted, as apparently it wasn't up to my usual standard. They apologized to me and I accepted that of course, and moved on from it. But it didn't end things very nicely as the last supervision was a little awkward.

I'm now writing my introduction chapter which is due next week. They have set a limit of only 2000 words, and suggested that it should introduce the area of study and state why it is important, then give a theoretical overview, then discuss the methodology, then give a brief chapter-by-chapter summary. I'm finding it quite difficult as I have lost confidence (not that I had much in the first place) since my last submission, and I'm scared of submitting something terrible again. For various reasons I was quite unwell at the end of last term and I was feeling quite burnt out, I did give myself a little break over Christmas as I think I needed it.

I was wondering whether anyone else had been in a similar situation (loss of confidence, esp. with writing), and how they got out of it. Any advice for writing a decent introduction chapter will also be greatly appreciated!

Natassia x

What do you want for 2012?
N

Good luck everyone in achieving what you want in 2012.

I'm at the end of my first year of my PhD now, as I started in January 2011. Research-wise, this year I want to collect all of my data (hopefully starting this in March) and iron out some of the bad writing habits I have developed. I'd like to go to some conferences as well, and generally gain a bit more confidence in myself as a researcher. I will also have my transfer in the summer so hopefully that will go well.

Personally, I'd like to be a bit more organised with my finances and save a little money each month. I'd like to earn more money from teaching so that I can give up my part time nannying job.

How important is home ownership to you?
N

I am 23 and basically single; I am a year into my PhD which doesn't have any funding attached. So I still have to live with my parents at the moment and can see this being the unhappy case until I finish my PhD unless a minor miracle happens. So being able to rent somewhere is my dream at the moment; then after my PhD if and when I get a job paying off any other existing debts will be the priority rather than having a mortgage. So I think I'll be renting until I'm about 35, realistically speaking, although if I get married or whatever buying somewhere might be a bit easier. To be honest I haven't thought an awful lot about it, renting somewhere seems ambitious enough at the moment. The other thing is that I live in London which is a comparatively expensive area and I wouldn't really want to move away from the city; most people who I know who live more centrally than me (including those in their 30s and early 40s), are still renting; it seems to be the more popular choice in London.

Family issues - I just don't know what to do any more.
N

Thank you all very much for replying, it really means a lot. I understand what you are saying when bipolar is suggested, but I really don't think there is anything like that wrong with him. My mum has suggested that he could be unhappy with himself and turning it outwards instead and I think that is more the case. He is quite immature in some ways, e.g. he has 'seen' girls but never had a proper girlfriend, and he has never really taken responsibility for anything (my parent's don't encourage it) - so he could be feeling down about that. I really want to be able to help him, but when he abuses me (and I think it can verge on abuse sometimes), I wonder whether he is worth my concern.

Mackem Beefy - he doesn't really want to be at uni (he wants to train as a fireman when he graduates I think), and he is worse when he has to do something he doesn't want to do, like in the ten minutes before he leaves for work he is horrid, then ok when he gets back. But he should realise that life isn't all about having fun and relaxing, like he says it is. He often tells me that my life is sh*t, although I work very hard I am quite fulfilled and generally happy with my life. As I've described above, I think the personal problems are there, but not discussed so I don't know what they are. And he has been violent towards me and the dogs a few times in the past few months. He used to be worse when we were younger. This is quite rare though, and more agression with too much strength rather than proper violence, like he is more likely to push me very agressively than punch me in the face. With the dogs he kicks them and this makes me really cross - when I tell him off for it he just tells me that I'm mad and need to take my medication. I don't think he'd ever be physically aggressive towards my parents.

He just seems to get very cross at the smallest things, like the dogs barking at the postman. He has a lot of anger inside him that he seems to need to vent, and I am usually the recipient. I can't wait for him to go back to uni so he is out all day, although then I worry about him when he is staying late there. It's strange and difficult because although he really does make my life miserable a lot of the time, I still look out for him all the time and I really want to be able to have a good relationship with him.

In terms of other substances that could be causing this, I know that he is difficult when he wants a cigarette, but then he doesn't smoke very much. I am pretty sure that he smokes weed as he mentions it, but then says that he hasn't smoked it since he went to Amsterdam and that was a couple of months ago now. He spends a lot of time with his friends so he has plenty of opportunity. A close friend of mine used to smoke a lot of weed (I don't smoke it) and he said that how my brother is behaving is typical for someone who smokes it, but then I think it affects everyone differently. I do think there is a substance making him behave like this though, he is very erratic sometimes.

Again, sorry for the garbled message and thank you for the replies, Nx

Family issues - I just don't know what to do any more.
N

Sorry for using the forum to discuss this but I could really do with some outside opinions on this, as I am getting to the end of my tether and it is becoming very stressful.

The problem stems from my brother's attitude and behaviour, although this isn't a "my brother is so annoying and I can't stand him" post, it is more that I have actual concerns about him and why he is behaving in this way. He is 21 and I am 23 - we are both living at home at the moment because I am doing a full time PhD with no funding and can't afford to move out. He is living at home because he is an undergraduate and he failed a previous year at university when he lived away from home, and now my parents don't trust him to move out and be responsible for his studies. We have never got on brilliantly, we don't have much in common, but at the same time we can have a laugh together and chat etc.

The main problem is his huge mood swings and the temper that comes with it. He can be very difficult to talk to and rants a lot, for example if I say "Hello, you alright?" if I haven't seen him all day he will often launch into a tirade about how I shouldn't say hello to him, and how I am stupid for doing so. I still talk to him because I think he has to learn that communication is a normal and valuable skill, in my opinion he shouldn't be able to dictate when people speak to him. He is constantly criticizing me for all sorts of things, being ugly, pathetic, stupid, mentally ill (I am on anti depressants but wouldn't consider myself to be mentally ill).. the list goes on. And when I answer him back I'm often told to "take my medication and go and commit suicide". When he starts it is as if he can't stop, this used to upset me but I find it more irritating now.

The most difficult problem though is how erratic his behaviour is, he can go from being ok and playing with my dog or whatever, to being how I have just described, and then back again, all in about 10 minutes. He can be quite unpredictable as well. When I have discussed this with my parents, they have said that he is clearly not a happy person, but they don't know what to do with him. He can be especially insulting towards my dad, in terms of how he isn't masculine, he's actually called him a creep before (for no reason), and my dad was clearly upset about this but just told my brother that he didn't care about what he said.

We are different sorts of people, he has never really had a job apart from gardening (he puts adverts up and can be reasonably busy as a result), however I have been working in various roles since I was 15. He isn't very responsible, and has never really had to answer to anybody. I feel quite emotional writing this which is probably why it isn't very well written... I'd be really grateful for any advice because I can't cope for much longer. He is definitely getting worse and I want him to improve for himself more than me or anyone else.

Thanks in advance, Natassia x

Newbie!
N

Hi David, good luck with starting your PhD - I've been using this forum on and off since the 3rd year of my undergraduate degree and it has been so helpful, I start the 2nd year of my PhD in January.

PDF files - Alternatives to Adobe?
N

I use PDF XChange viewer and that was free to download, you might have to pay for additional features though. I don't read or annotate on it because I do that using Mendelay (keeping everything in the same place), but there are lots of different ways you can annotate documents using it, I actually think it's better than Adobe in that respect. Somebody on here recommended it when I had to delete Adobe becase it did something strange to my laptop.

Length of literature review...
N

I am in my first year (8 months in) and my supervisors have just asked me to produce a draft of my literature review, they asked for it to be between 6-8000 words. I am in the social sciences so like yours, my thesis will be around the 80,000 word mark. Do you have any literature-review writing tips for me at my early stage?

Nx

(straight) women taking higher degrees and dating
N

I am a member of the online dating world as well... it can be rather soul-destroying but it has worked a few times, nothing really special though. I am honest about the fact I am doing a PhD and teaching and they seem to be rather impressed, generally because I am reasonably young (23). It often gets asked about when they send a first message; I am always put off if they send a generic first message because it looks like something they say to every girl rather than actually reading a profile properly.

But I think the intimidation factor does come into it as well, although I usually end up dating older guys (30+) who are generally more successful than I am, so then I am the one feeling intimidated. I have the other issue of being rather hard-up, so I am always concerned that they see me as a gold-digger.

The interesting difference in responses I have observed is due to whether I use a photo where I am wearing my hair extensions or not! Naturally my hair is just below my shoulders but they love my Kate Middleton style extensions!

Good luck with it! xxx