Overview of skyisnotthelimit

Overview

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skyisnotthelimit
Friday, 10 February 2017 at 12:20pm
Tuesday, 6 June 2017 at 8:51am
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Thread: Growing distant from your best friends?

posted
30-Jun-17, 13:31
edited about 1 minute later
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posted about 2 months ago
I have lately started to notice that I am slowly starting to grow distant from my best friends. They both work and have stopped with school - meaning they finished their bachelor and master degrees and continued working. Meanwhile I am doing my PhD and everytime we talk I notice that we almost don't speak the same language anymore. We don't have the same problems. I mean, they're putting down payments for their houses and getting married and big weddings and expensive vacations - while I on the other hand am paying rent, using my bench fee money to attend conferences, traveling for work, writing, doing fieldwork and generally being invested completely in my PhD - while trying my best to make the ends meet.

Whereas I am completely aware that all our journeys are fine - I cannot help but notice that I don't even think they understand me anymore. Whenever we talk I cannot ever get into detail about my PhD because they either don't understand it or they don't really care because they don't value it as important. I mean they say how proud they are of me but at the end all our conversations revolve around mortgages, vacations, trips - mainly things me (and my partner) cannot even start dreaming of.

This is causing me a bit of trouble because I don't wanna grow distant with them. I love them to bits and I don't wanna allow my PhD to ruin our friendship. So I guess my question is - has any of you been there? If so - what's your advice? Even if you haven't been there - what would you do if you were in my place?

Thanks

Thread: Supervisor wants to submit in too high journal

posted
26-May-17, 13:58
edited about 17 seconds later
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posted about 3 months ago
Have you told this to your supervisor? I doubt he/she wants to have a paper rejected either, so if you go to her/him with your thoughts on this then you can find a middle ground. Very often us students know these details (rules of submission and certain formats) much better than the supervisors, so if you tell her about them she might be open to trying the other journal. I know if I were in your place, and I had this issue - my supervisor would accept my proposal and we would submit in the journal I proposed. But, only after making my case eh?

good luck.

Thread: Found error in methods of one of my thesis chapters. What do I do?

posted
26-May-17, 11:34
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posted about 3 months ago
Well, that's quite alright. I don't think anyone has the same quality of work from the beginning. I am sure lots of postgrads look back at their first year and wonder "why on earth were they thinking". So take it smoother. It also seems that your supervisor is pretty cool with that and that should help you. Also,I am sure self-criticism can work in a good way too. So good luck. It will be great.

Thread: Found error in methods of one of my thesis chapters. What do I do?

posted
26-May-17, 11:15
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 3 months ago
Hey first of all don't panic. Or panic, but know that panicking is as effective as trying to solve and algebra by chewing a bubble gum.

Second of all, would it be that bad if you just explained this? Like, added a paragraph at the end of the chapter as well as the discussion stating they are equivalent? I mean, since it doesn't change or affect the results than why wouldn't you make it clear? Either way you run the risk of the committee figuring it out themselves and I think that'd be much worse because it would portray you as not careful and they would automatically assume that you didn't notice this. But if you address it yourself beforehand, it's a different story.

Good luck and let us know how it goes

Thread: Graduation: Who to please? Family or myself?

posted
26-May-17, 11:10
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 3 months ago
I think you would regret it later in life if you graduated in absentia for reasons like these. To me the PhD graduation will mean much more than any other day in my life, and I am assuming is the same (or at least similar) to all PhD students. You have gone through 5 years of thick and thin and made it. That is a huge accomplishment that you should be able to celebrate and cherish the way YOU WANT! So as the others have suggested, tell your dad the place and time and then you go and rock and roll. Celebrate it with your supervisors, friends, yourself and if your dad is there - great. if not - great again. It will be his loss - not yours.

Good luck and congrats for making it. Have an unforgetable day.

Thread: Kick start motivation?

posted
19-May-17, 09:46
edited about 3 seconds later
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 3 months ago
How about taking some days to read something for fun? Do you have any fiction books that have been staying on your shelf for a long time now? Pick them up and read them. Do something not related to your PhD for a bit. I think this helps big time.

Thread: NEED HELP with PhD writing.

posted
16-May-17, 07:52
edited about 23 seconds later
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posted about 3 months ago
How about giving us a bit more details on why does it keep getting rejected? Did you get comments and address them properly? What does your supervisor say? With this little info it seems to me that it might be getting rejected either because you're not getting proper feedback, or you are getting it but not addressing it properly. So tell us more in order for us to be able to assist you in any way we can.

Thread: Couple of days to finish writing paper... lost motivation about 2 weeks ago!

posted
11-May-17, 10:55
edited about 18 seconds later
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posted about 3 months ago
Hey @Tudor_Queen, if you cannot do it, no one else can! Come on, you've got this! What works for me when I am stuck is reading something related to what I am writing but that is not necessarily academic. I am in the middle of writing an article too and I got stuck real bad last week and I just started reading newspaper articles about the topic, watching some videos of studies and picked up the flow from there. Not sure if it helps but it works for me. Good luck and let us know how it goes :)

Thread: Couple of days to finish writing paper... lost motivation about 2 weeks ago!

posted
11-May-17, 10:53
edited about 6 seconds later
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 3 months ago
Quote From chickpea:
Sometimes it's just like pulling teeth. I'm at that stage post-thesis completion and knowing I should be writing stuff for publication, yet resisting it with every fibre of my being. I tend to find I need to just do something (when I'm not feeling like it) just to get the momentum going again. I should take my own advice really :-)

Hahahaha I love this.

Thread: Feeling intimidated/bullied by my supervisor

posted
25-Apr-17, 06:43
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 4 months ago
Hey Bluesky. So sorry to hear about what you are going through - but remember...there has to be rain in order for the sunshine to be appreciated after. I guess we all have different struggles throughout our PhD journeys and yours seems to be a bit too much now. My suggestion would be to talk it out. Sit down with him and tell him bluntly everything you wrote here and more. If I were you that's what I would do. I would tell him how his behaviour makes me feel and ask for explanations why. Maybe there is a reason why he is doing this, you never know. I am not saying a valid reason - but a reason nonetheless. I seem to believe that many problems can be avoided if only people are blunt to each other. Maybe it won't work, but even so at least you would have exhausted all your remedies before taking the next step of changing supervisors. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Thread: How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?

posted
20-Apr-17, 07:56
edited about 7 seconds later
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 4 months ago
Quote From Tudor_Queen:
In my humble view it may not be so serious! Many of us have things that really upset us when actually they are trivial. And we just have to get over them and become more resilient. It doesn't mean we are going to have a breakdown or similar.

Some people are naturally more resilient and so don't necessary experience these issues anyway. It sounds like skyisnotthelimit is at the start of the process of hardening up a bit, which has got to be a good thing.

For those who are less resilient naturally, I think academia is not only a place where there are lots of rejections (e.g., papers, grants, conferences etc) can compound feelings of insecurity, but also there is this academic hierarchy students in which students can be treated as though they are worthless... (depending on who they work with). Both these things surely feed into the negative feelings / overthinking / depression that normal humans can be prone to.

All the best skyisnotthelimit!


Couldn't agree more. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful message. It helps big time to hear that it's okay to feel this way and know that I can get through and over it. And I will. Thanks :)

Thread: How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?

posted
20-Apr-17, 07:55
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 4 months ago
It's more serious than simply going nuts.
If you are getting yourself into this state over completely trivial things like this in only your first year and don't immediately do something about it then the PhD will break you.
You need to learn really quickly how to develop some resilience because it reads to me that under the slightest pressure you are caving emotionally.
Good luck.[/quote]

You might be right but the thing is everyone deals with these things differently. I have had lots of pressure in other aspects of my private life (including finances and long distance marriage) that have added to my feelings of insecurity and overthinking. But precisely because I know that if these small details affect me so much - I will lose it for the bigger ones, I am trying to start early and try to find a way to deal with them better. So yes, I am trying and I am sure I will manage to find a way to develop some resilience. Thanks for your honesty though. It always helps!

Thread: How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?

posted
19-Apr-17, 14:03
edited about 22 seconds later
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 4 months ago
Quote From butterfly20:
A rejection is not a failure, but sadly a normal part of academic life. It's something we have to get used to.

Based on your previous thread, you worry far too much about your supervisor's feelings towards you. It sounds as though you're either developing a crush or you're pushing yourself too hard for perfection. This is your project, not his, take some control and stop caring what he thinks. It is your project and he is just the mentor.

@butterfly20, Haha a crush. I wish that was the case but no. I think it's just a character flaw that I developed during life that enables me to function properly only when valued by others. which is wrong I know, and I am working on it. But the first step to address the issue is by acknowledging it first right? And discussing experiences here, and reading your comments as well as reading about other similar experiences on different threads - is proving to be quite helpful actually. :)

Thread: How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?

posted
19-Apr-17, 13:50
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 4 months ago
Quote From pm133:
It sounds like both you and your supervisor are taking this way too seriously. It's only a conference. A mistake was made. Get over it. No need for embarassment, lengthy apologies, beating yourselves up or pledges to "do better next time".

If this type of utterly trivial incident affects you this much you risk having serious issues when a genuine problem occurs.
Relax bud. Mistakes happen.


@pm133, I am sure you're right but I guess the beginning is the hardest since I still have not figured my way around things and people. But I should definitely learn to take these things easier otherwise I will go nuts by the end of the PhD. You're right. That's why this forum is so helpful.

Thread: How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?

posted
19-Apr-17, 09:17
edited about 17 seconds later
Avatar for skyisnotthelimit
posted about 4 months ago
Quote From Tudor_Queen:
Ps. Make a point of listing your achievements - no matter how small they may be! And remember that what you currently count as failures are actually learning opportunities, if you'll treat them as such.

Re your supervisor's embarrassment - that's something he'll have to get over!

Keep on smiling : )


@Tudor_Queen, thanks so much for your words. In times like these when you think that you've failed and you're not good enough - it is refreshing and very helpful to read what you wrote. Thanks a lot!
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