All I can say, every thing is going against me in the recent moment, moreover, I am alone here and I cannot find any kind of support! Actually I dont want to cry about the past, but I am trying to find a solution, but I cannot for the situation I have never expected to be in. I dont know whether I am really flawless, I have non good feelings, feelings foolish. Sorry guys for bringing negativity, but this is the only one to share what I am feelings right now, I am feeling like I am a ballon.

I'm sorry to hear. Can you talk with any friend or family member on the phone? That might help you to feel more connected and get some support. It might not be as good as in person, but it can help.

Hello Guys again,

Now there are different updates! This junior PI has selected me as a finalist candidate to visit the institute although he didnot reply to my emails. In this official email, I have to do presentation and so on. As you may know, my current situation is so awful and working on topic way off from my background and also not interesting. Moreover, there is no other opportunities in the recent time, someone promised me, but have to wait another year. I really feel lost, but have no options.

I totally agree with you, and I am afraid of course to jump in another bad experience, however, this is going to be interview by the end of January and have to travel to the country institute for conducting the interview. One of the big concerns now is my financial situation as my contract is ending by the end of this month and I don't know whether they are going to renew it, indeed I need a vacation, but I have to financially stable, it is not easy. The other supervisor he told me he doesn't guarantee to get the fund, but he will deposit an application for me, I felt really good with another potential supervisor, however, this isn't definite. However, I agree that this junior supervisor is weird, but I will give it a try and see in him in person and see whether there are other applicants rather than me with him. Thanks again for your advice and wish for me the good luck.

My mind is going to blow off! I received an email from a former student of the potential good supervisor as I thought, it was shocking, she warned me to work with the other supervisor, he isnot involved in research and doesnot have funds, although he seemed to be nice and optimistic during call. According to the junior PI, he offered to reimburse the travel in their email, while they are going to book hotel on their own. Actually, I am doing my best to find alternative jobs, but there isnot. I am sorry, but I think the world is running around me, I am going to lose faith in everything.

The prof.xxx who seemed to be good and promised me to have funding for the next year, I received from his former student since three years ago this: Even more sadly, I would not recommend doing a PhD with prof xxx, at least not on xxx (topic I am interested in and passionate about). At least 3 years ago, Prof.xxx was not too involved in the research (he is mostly teaching) and did not have funding for it. He also does not have a lab just for development of the topic I am interested in. However, the topic I am interested in, he mentioned that he is going to cooperate with a very well known supervisor and very good which also this student thanked too. For irony, she thanked about the previous supervisor whom I was cooperating with and was the reason to destroy me during the previous year. I know it is a small world, but I began to be not confident. Another very good supervisor mentioned that he is running out of funding and doesn't have any positions (interns) and I just make sure from other members and that was true. I don't know how to react, or what I should, who I have to believe? there are many subtle dimensions and I am really so afraid to be again with a poor supervisor. Sorry for prolong, but your suggestion helps me a lot to see what I cannot see and I am trying to reach a sound decision.

Please take a break, maybe even a couple of months and then try looking for a job. After you got a job, you can try to look for a PhD again so you can choose a good one without desperation. You are tired, stressed and confused at the moment. No one can make a good rational decision in your state. Stop. Take a break. Then try again.

I would like to share an update, I am trying to relax and chill out as much as I can so that I can make a good decision, of course, this helped me a lot to think in a better way. I have found a position sounds interesting and the PI also well, however, during the interview, he was shocked to know that I was a first-year PhD and then resign. He added he wants a student who could commit, I informed him, then it wasn't me, my ex-PI wanted to stop the project. He added, that the decision is going to be through the second week of January. Should I send him again a sample of my work and that I have to manage to get two grants and publishing at top-tier conference workshop or this going to reduce my credit. To be honest, people have a bad impression for a student who resigns or quit, but I was blamed, what I should do?. Really thanks so much for your kind support which is a priceless and good companion for me.