I am so sorry to hear about your phd experiences. I did not feel the same during my phd; I did not have any fears or anxiety from my phd; at most it was the stress of having to go through a steep learning curve and having to cope with life whilst doing a phd.

I am supposed to be one of those "lucky" PhD-ers who got into academia. But now, being in academia, I am anxious, stressed and depressed almost everyday.