Wow that's a really lovely message Dee thanks very much.

You give great advice.

Sorry to hear about the illness in your family.

I have had similar things happen at critical stages in my life and it is really difficult to deal with.

Situations like your have such an affect on wellbeing it is very hard to concentrate on what you are supposed to be doing.

You did very well to get through your thesis with all that other stuff on your mind.

Well done.

Hope your family is OK.

Keep your head up and you too should never give up either.

You're the best, thanks.

I am sorry that things seem so tough at the moment, but they will get better, once you take time for yourself as advised! concentrate on you, make decisions for yourself, thinking of you and your future, not someone else.
re the phd, if you have been thinking about doing one for so long then it sounds like you really want it, and if you were willing to attempt a masters in a new language and didnt drop out despite the difficulties during the course you must have the determination needed for a phd! go for it!!
re references, i dont think there is a limit to the number of references they will write, my supervisor has been writing me references for years (she taught me at undergrad level also)
anyway, dont doubt yourself, remember that things external to your studies will always effect you (working full-time, new language, relationship problems are very good examples!)
My own MA result was not what I had hoped it would be, or according to the feedback what I am capable of, due to an illness in the family which took its toll right as I was writing the thesis up. For at least a year I beat my self up about my 'poor' mark (to the point that I have not been able to bring myself to re-read the thesis since) however it has made me all the more detirmined to proove to myself that I can do better. Try an take this attitude.
You are not, and nor should you try to be, superhuman.
good luck!

hi huxley
looks like u reached a decision (somewhat?)
don't give up and good luck
satchi

hi huxley
glad to hear that you are ok and are willing to go "on the mend".
take time away to reflect, repair and recover,
remember that the feelings of uselessness are only temporary,
they will go away faster if you let them go.

take care and do keep in touch.
good luck
satchi

hi huxley
sorry to hear of your situation. Nothing can change what has happened. My best advice to you is to use the time you have (when you return to your home country) to reflect on yourself and your life aims.

Did you do a masters (in a foreign country) because you really wanted to do it (in a foreign language) or you did this so you could be with your girlfriend? What do you really want to do with your life? Do you have to get a masters degree for it?

You said you want to work in a low responsibility job to keep your stress levels low. The truth is, no matter what you do, there will be stress everywhere. Even with a simple job such as a cleaner, there will still be some stress. We cannot avoid stress. It is part of Life. All of us have to learn to deal with stress and manage ourselves to cope with it.

Don't be paranoid about the academics at your present uni giving you negative references. Let it go. Worrying about references from your undergrad professors will not change anything. If one of them has written you excellent references in the past, it may be possible that she will help you again. She might be very busy. Don't worry yourself over this.

You need to get yourself together first.
You cannot be happy with anything if you are not happy with yourself.
satchi