I'm at the end of the first year of my PhD. I don't feel like I've done enough work and I'm not happy with my progression. I keep panicking that I'm screwing myself over by not working hard enough and I feel as though I've wasted my first year. It genuinely terrifies me that I can't pull this back. Yet, even though I feel that way, I just can't seem to stay focused and work as hard as I want to.

I loved my MA. I worked my arse off and was so proud of how I did. This PhD is just completely different. It feels so pointless. I'm not part of a community. I don't have classmates or deadlines like I did on the MA. It's just me sat staring at a screen on my own day in day out. I love my topic but I just can't find a way to motivate myself whatsoever. It doesn't help that there doesn't seem to be a clear goal. Most of the post-PhDs I know doing are doing jobs they don't even need the PhD for.

So many other PhDs seem to work so hard that they find it hard to switch off, yet I can't even switch on half the time. I'm at such a loss and I can't go another two years feeling this way. I genuinely thought I'd love doing my PhD. It upsets me so much that I'm not enjoying it at all.

Any advice or support from people that understand would mean a lot :/
Cheers.