Hey Tudor_Queen, I’m living in halls of residence at the moment with a friend but will be moving into a house at the start of July with the same person and a few others so I think that would be a lot better! I do tend to go home every third weekend but usually get my family to come over to see me if I have lab work to do on the weekends. Yeah I got some comfort reading other people’s stories on this forum, I know I’m not alone. I was having a look around for some books actually - a bit of a long shot but do you know any that are good?

I also think I might try counselling, I’m worried about my mental health :( *hugs* x

Hey, thanks for your replies! I think I will do that for sure, I’ve come across a few books and other bits online which have given me a bit of perspective into my situation :) hopefully I’ll feel better soon! Xx

I just want to go back to feeling like me again :(

On top of that, no one seems to understand how I am feeling - i've tried talking to my boyfriend, friends and family but they all just say the same thing - to take a break and do something else to take your mind of it. I always end up in a tearful mess every single time and I can't seem to relax and take a step back. I'm constantly on edge and feel as though I need to be trying to analyse this data every minute of every day although I know I shouldn't be feeling as though I have to do that. I feel burnt out and its taking a toll on how I function on a daily basis, all of the signs are telling me that I am stupidly stressed out over something which seems so trivial.

I am starting to think that maybe I need help in terms of my mental welfare, for the first time today - I had a panic attack...Is there anyone else out there who has felt the same way as me or someone who can offer me some advice, anything?

I started my PhD about 6 months ago in the same university where I did my undergraduates. I was really excited at first to be coming back along with quite a few of my friends who decided to also study for a PhD. The first few months were hard admittedly, I wasn't sure what I was doing in terms of experiments however I learned and made good progress.

However lately, I have been particularly feeling down in the dumps and I can't seem to understand why I am feeling like this as I am usually quite optimistic when it comes to situations like these. My latest experiment involves sitting in a dark room alone for hours on end to get some data from my cells. I felt so lonely and isolated however I got the data I needed and have started analysing it. The analysis however seems to take longer than collecting the data, and i've been trying to analyse it for the last few weeks. I am also receiving pressure from my supervisors to show the results but it isn't something I can do overnight when I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a fairly large lab group, and I have gone to different people to ask for help with the analysis, for which I am exceptionally grateful for, but the analysis is also somewhat subjective so most of it has to come from me.

I feel mentally exhausted and sometimes don't want to wake up in the mornings. I feel as if I have sacrificed my own happiness and sanity to give my supervisors what they want so that they are happy. I can't seem to take a break and clear my thoughts - I didn't think that I would feel this way 6 months into my PhD.

Thanks for your reply Tudor_Queen, I think that is my biggest problem because I am fighting myself. I think I need help, and i'm not talking about from an academic perspective although I think that would be good for me too. I am really struggling to find a balance between work and social life and I'm starting to resent making the decision to come here in the first place. I'm just really unhappy as a person at the moment and for some reason I can't seem to relax or take a step back from it, I can't even express how I feel in words - i've never felt so bad before and I don't feel like myself any more. I just want to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel...

Hey,

I'm also in the same boat. I started my PhD last September and didn't really get enough time to properly settle in before being thrown in the lab a month later and planning experiments. I have a hybrid project - between biological science and chemistry, so not really anything I've done before so i'm trying to learn as fast as I can too! I try and try again and feel as if my efforts are wasted and that i'm not progressing as well as I "should be". Lately I've been feeling particularly crappy and have not wanted to leave the comfort of my own bed. I'm losing weight and my hair is thinning but I can't help to think that I am just stressing myself out? To top it off, I rarely receive a pat on the back from my supervisors until i've completed an experiment.

I'm finding it hard to find someone who can be my shoulder to cry on - it seems that no one really does understand so it is somewhat comforting to know that there are others out there who feel the same way too x