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LilyRachel
Wednesday, 26 December 2018 at 12:24am
Monday, 28 January 2019 at 7:53pm
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Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
23-Jun-19, 16:27
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 1 day ago
Quote From Zena85:
Quote From LilyRachel:
Quote From rewt:
[quote]Quote From LilyRachel:
It is
.


Well, yes. You have to try. You have to assume that the university is not completely morally corrupt and actually wants to ensure they provide a safe place to work, therefore if you don’t alert them to the problem, they’ll never know. And once you’ve alerted them to the problem, it is their responsibility to investigate and then respond accordingly. The person who has gained their PhD under a bully has already lost a considerable amount. Punishment doesn’t even come into this anyway, I don’t see how lodging a formal complaint is not constructive. We shouldn’t be blaming victims for not speaking out for fear of making their situation even worse. And if the supervisor is afraid of losing something, then maybe they should have thought about that before they bullied and harassed their students.

The university cares more about money, and it’s well known the our department makes 40% of university funding. So, even if I am not the first student to file a complaint, there is the matter of funding they keep their heads down.



You’re right unfortunately that is often the case, which is why you have to be prepared to persevere and not let them ignore this! ultimately , if they do ignore this, they could owe you financial compensation wether they deem your supervisor guilty or not, and that is a language they understand. I think quite often they just hope that the person complaining will drop it as it’s such an arduous process!

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
23-Jun-19, 00:11
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 1 day ago
Quote From rewt:
Quote From LilyRachel:
It is SO important to hold a university to account for their actions, sometimes the safest time to do that is once you have left. This is definitely not a case of getting “vengeance”!! I’m a bit shocked that anyone would think that :S


So you think you can hold an organisation to account by complaining to the same organisation?

You are right, the safest time to complain is when you leave because you have nothing to lose or to gain. I have a lot more sympathy for people suffering under supervisors before they have finished because they have so much to lose. But once you gain the PhD, you have nothing to lose and the supervisor has everything to lose. I respect that you are trying to prevent someone having a similar situation but seeking a punishment, is vengeance. If the war on drugs has proven anything, it is that rehabilitation is far better than punishment, therefore being constructive should be the first option.

Again if you haven't graduated, I completely support you in any university procedure.


Well, yes. You have to try. You have to assume that the university is not completely morally corrupt and actually wants to ensure they provide a safe place to work, therefore if you don’t alert them to the problem, they’ll never know. And once you’ve alerted them to the problem, it is their responsibility to investigate and then respond accordingly. The person who has gained their PhD under a bully has already lost a considerable amount. Punishment doesn’t even come into this anyway, I don’t see how lodging a formal complaint is not constructive. We shouldn’t be blaming victims for not speaking out for fear of making their situation even worse. And if the supervisor is afraid of losing something, then maybe they should have thought about that before they bullied and harassed their students.

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
22-Jun-19, 22:08
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 2 days ago
Quote From rewt:
Seriously what are you trying to achieve? You have graduated and can move on with your life. The supervisors may have been horrific but you you did graduate and that is what really matters in the end. Nothing good comes from vengeance.


It is SO important to hold a university to account for their actions, sometimes the safest time to do that is once you have left. This is definitely not a case of getting “vengeance”!! I’m a bit shocked that anyone would think that :S

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
22-Jun-19, 01:59
edited about 6 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 2 days ago
I know you didn’t ask for praise but I think that standing up to your supervisors is very brave and you should be proud. Definitely chase this up, is there a student union representative you can liaise with to offer you advice ? It’s really awful that they have not gotten back to you in so long , and I know it takes a lot of energy but sometimes unless you really really push them and get lots of other parties involved the university will try to do nothing. Additionally , it may be worth seeking advice from the office of the independent adjudicator for higher education https://www.oiahe.org.uk/
Good luck and let us know how it progresses !

Thread: How to write to university for treating my appeal with proper manners

posted
19-Jun-19, 00:48
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 5 days ago
I’m sorry they are treating you so appallingly. Are you in the Uk? If so I would recommend that if you have completed your universities appeal process that you send your complaint for review to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator for Higher Education

Thread: Relationship with supervisors unworkable months from finishing

posted
06-Jun-19, 15:58
edited about 6 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 2 weeks ago
Hey, I agree with the above comments, but I would also suggest getting advice from a trusted source, perhaps a student union or advisor who can listen to your issues and advise you properly. It sounds like what is happening to you is bullying and harassment , so I would suggest that if it is too difficult to so so now , upon graduation you could submit a formal complaint. If you wanted to take action to make things easier and keep you safe more immediately , they may be able to put in certain measures such as only meeting with your supervisors with a member of HR present etc. You deserve to be safe in the place you work.

Thread: Taking time off after PhD

posted
27-May-19, 00:32
edited about 24 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 1 month ago
I agree with the above comments as very good options, but to offer my perspective (which is a bit different!) I would say that it’s important to spend time with your family when you can. You miss your family , so if you can afford it , I would try to be with them. Like you say you could look for a job at home, if that’s what you think you want. The way I see it is we only have so much time in this life (sorry - getting morbid) so we should try to enjoy it and do what feels right when we can.

Congrats on finishing :) !

Thread: Fish or Cut Bait? Go or No? Can 2 PhD's build a life together?

posted
05-Mar-19, 23:34
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
If you want to stay with him, and you want to get the PhD, you can make it work! :) these things can be tough but they’re only temporary. Have you had a chat with him and asked him what he wants or how he feels about it?

Thread: I Am Struggling and Don't Know What To Do

posted
28-Feb-19, 19:19
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 4 months ago
Quote From pm133:
Quote From lovelylisa83:
I just wanted to come here for some support from other PhD students and I feel like I am being attacked. I have not given up, I am just coming here for support - not to be judged and told that I basically need to suck it up. I want the PhD and that is what I am working hard for.


Nobody is attacking you on here. I'm not sure where you are getting that from.
You mentioned that you are having suicidal thoughts. Under those circumstances there is only one course of help and advice open to you and that is to seek urgent medical help.
Nobody on here is qualified to give you any other advice until you have dealt with your immediate medical emergency.



I’m sorry to jump in here , but to just give my personal perspective on this... When you are feeling suicidal and this is in part due to external circumastances. practical steps as to how to deal with the matter in hand (the PhD) are very helpful to alleviate some anxiety there and bring back a sense of control. Simply saying “forget the phd and get help” whilst very well meaning (and obviously it is very important to seek help of some sort!) can seem slightly aggressive and dismissive.

“Get help” - what help? Where? How?
“get help” - but there’s no available doctors appointments until next week
“get help” - I’m on a waiting list that goes on for months and in the mean time what do I do?!

I’m definitely not saying you’re wrong in any way, just in my opinion telling someone to not talk about the issues they’re facing until they have got “help” (that might not be readily available and is most likely oversubscribed and underfunded) shifts a lot of pressure back on to that person, who is asking for some support. Sorry I’m not the most articulate today, I wonder if that makes any sense ?

Thread: I Am Struggling and Don't Know What To Do

posted
28-Feb-19, 01:12
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 4 months ago
Quote From lovelylisa83:
I just wanted to come here for some support from other PhD students and I feel like I am being attacked. I have not given up, I am just coming here for support - not to be judged and told that I basically need to suck it up. I want the PhD and that is what I am working hard for.


Sorry I didn’t see this message until I had pressed send on my message already! It’s good you haven’t been put off by this experience , I think a PhD is such a feat of resilience and if you have a will to finish it, as I said before , there will be a way ! Can you agree to do the corrections , but ask first if you can take some time off ? I think a clear plan forward and a break might be really beneficial. During which perhaps you can see your GP and put a bit more support in place for your return? Just an idea!

Thread: I Am Struggling and Don't Know What To Do

posted
28-Feb-19, 01:03
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 4 months ago
This sounds really horrible! And I completely understand the gut reaction you’re having to it. Definitely have an honest chat with your supervisors , if you want to do this PhD, there will always be a a way forward! Yes a PhD can be harsh on your mental health, but if it’s what you want , you CAN do it , you might just need a bit of support. I think you need to think about what you want and what you need, speak with your supervisors and let us know what comes of the conversation. It’s not easy , but you can do this one step at a time, we are all behind you.

Thread: New Offer, and I am afraid ! How to Get rid of the ghost of Bad experience as a PhD student

posted
27-Feb-19, 19:54
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 4 months ago
Absolutely thrilled for you, you deserve this! And yes I agree with rest :) just wanted to say I’m really pleased for you.

Thread: My current PI is telling me that I am a very shy person and he is really pissed off, what I should d

posted
09-Feb-19, 00:46
edited about 1 second later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 4 months ago
Hi Monkia, I’m sorry that you’ve experienced this. It is completely unprofessional and unacceptable for your PI to make these comments towards you. Your PI has no right to comment on your personality and how he feels about it, this is bullying.

I think that you need to make a record of this, or tell someone you trust (a personal tutor or some sort of student support type person) and then decide whether you feel comfortable to bring this up with the PI yourself, or with another member of staff. But definitely seek advice and let us know how it turns out.

It is ok to be shy! After what you’ve been through it is probably normal that you have lost self esteem and confidence of late. Don’t be harsh on yourself, you deserve to be safe and valued in the place you work. You deserve nothing less!

Thread: Presentations - obligations?

posted
28-Jan-19, 13:39
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 5 months ago
I also disagree with the others here, nothing is more important than your mental health. You have suffered a recent bereavement , cancelling is the most responsible thing to do if you're feeling fragile. Don't let others tell you otherwise! It's not as big a deal as some people think. It won't affect anything. Take care :)

Thread: Motivational advice

posted
17-Jan-19, 23:24
edited about 25 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 5 months ago
One thing someone told me last week that's helping me a lot , is to remember that actually it's good you feel this way because it means you're challenging yourself. You're not stagnant , if it was easy then we wouldn't learn anything. It helps me to be more positive to think about that sometimes.
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