Overview of LilyRachel

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LilyRachel
Wednesday, 26 December 2018 at 12:24am
Wednesday, 7 August 2019 at 9:29pm
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Thread: toxic lab environment

posted
07-Aug-19, 00:52
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 1 month ago
Also, what is it about your lab environment that is “toxic” ? It seems ok to me at the moment now the other student have left, but maybe there’s something else worrying you? Hope you get to take a break soon

Thread: toxic lab environment

posted
07-Aug-19, 00:38
edited about 24 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 1 month ago
I agree with the above comments 100%! Are you far from finishing your PhD? Does their project impact on yours ?

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
29-Jun-19, 00:30
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
Quote From pm133:
At some point, somebody is going to sue a university in a landmark case and I hope that happens sooner rather than later.
BUT. Nobody on here should be trying to push this as some sort of moral crusade onto the shoulders of someone else. The OP needs to make their own mind up and IMO they should be receiving two things from us:

1) Our best wishes and support if they choose to pursue this.
2) Genuine advice about what physical, time, financial and emotional hurdles they are almost certainly be faced with.

This is a very serious undertaking that most of us wouldn't want to put purselves through and nobody should be attempting to "spur them on" under the banner of "but what about other students?"
One or two posts have fallen into that category.


I totally agree with you!

What I don’t agree with is dissuading people or telling them that their right to complain is an act of vengeance. Most importantly , in this case , Zena85 has already complained, it has already been done. This is about her getting a response from them, which is fully deserve seeing as they have already been through the pain of doing the formal complaint in the first place.

If it was a case of someone asking if they should complain in the first place, that’s a very complicated issue that requires lots of thinking and discussion. There’s no one size fits all piece of advice you can give. I’d certainly never push anyone to do something for the sake of other students! Hope that makes sense.

Ps not sure what comments you’re referring to RE the moral crusade thing ?

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
23-Jun-19, 16:27
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
Quote From Zena85:
Quote From LilyRachel:
Quote From rewt:
[quote]Quote From LilyRachel:
It is
.


Well, yes. You have to try. You have to assume that the university is not completely morally corrupt and actually wants to ensure they provide a safe place to work, therefore if you don’t alert them to the problem, they’ll never know. And once you’ve alerted them to the problem, it is their responsibility to investigate and then respond accordingly. The person who has gained their PhD under a bully has already lost a considerable amount. Punishment doesn’t even come into this anyway, I don’t see how lodging a formal complaint is not constructive. We shouldn’t be blaming victims for not speaking out for fear of making their situation even worse. And if the supervisor is afraid of losing something, then maybe they should have thought about that before they bullied and harassed their students.

The university cares more about money, and it’s well known the our department makes 40% of university funding. So, even if I am not the first student to file a complaint, there is the matter of funding they keep their heads down.



You’re right unfortunately that is often the case, which is why you have to be prepared to persevere and not let them ignore this! ultimately , if they do ignore this, they could owe you financial compensation wether they deem your supervisor guilty or not, and that is a language they understand. I think quite often they just hope that the person complaining will drop it as it’s such an arduous process!

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
23-Jun-19, 00:11
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
Quote From rewt:
Quote From LilyRachel:
It is SO important to hold a university to account for their actions, sometimes the safest time to do that is once you have left. This is definitely not a case of getting “vengeance”!! I’m a bit shocked that anyone would think that :S


So you think you can hold an organisation to account by complaining to the same organisation?

You are right, the safest time to complain is when you leave because you have nothing to lose or to gain. I have a lot more sympathy for people suffering under supervisors before they have finished because they have so much to lose. But once you gain the PhD, you have nothing to lose and the supervisor has everything to lose. I respect that you are trying to prevent someone having a similar situation but seeking a punishment, is vengeance. If the war on drugs has proven anything, it is that rehabilitation is far better than punishment, therefore being constructive should be the first option.

Again if you haven't graduated, I completely support you in any university procedure.


Well, yes. You have to try. You have to assume that the university is not completely morally corrupt and actually wants to ensure they provide a safe place to work, therefore if you don’t alert them to the problem, they’ll never know. And once you’ve alerted them to the problem, it is their responsibility to investigate and then respond accordingly. The person who has gained their PhD under a bully has already lost a considerable amount. Punishment doesn’t even come into this anyway, I don’t see how lodging a formal complaint is not constructive. We shouldn’t be blaming victims for not speaking out for fear of making their situation even worse. And if the supervisor is afraid of losing something, then maybe they should have thought about that before they bullied and harassed their students.

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
22-Jun-19, 22:08
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
Quote From rewt:
Seriously what are you trying to achieve? You have graduated and can move on with your life. The supervisors may have been horrific but you you did graduate and that is what really matters in the end. Nothing good comes from vengeance.


It is SO important to hold a university to account for their actions, sometimes the safest time to do that is once you have left. This is definitely not a case of getting “vengeance”!! I’m a bit shocked that anyone would think that :S

Thread: After the complaint, what should I do if the university doesn’t take an action?

posted
22-Jun-19, 01:59
edited about 6 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
I know you didn’t ask for praise but I think that standing up to your supervisors is very brave and you should be proud. Definitely chase this up, is there a student union representative you can liaise with to offer you advice ? It’s really awful that they have not gotten back to you in so long , and I know it takes a lot of energy but sometimes unless you really really push them and get lots of other parties involved the university will try to do nothing. Additionally , it may be worth seeking advice from the office of the independent adjudicator for higher education https://www.oiahe.org.uk/
Good luck and let us know how it progresses !

Thread: How to write to university for treating my appeal with proper manners

posted
19-Jun-19, 00:48
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
I’m sorry they are treating you so appallingly. Are you in the Uk? If so I would recommend that if you have completed your universities appeal process that you send your complaint for review to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator for Higher Education

Thread: Relationship with supervisors unworkable months from finishing

posted
06-Jun-19, 15:58
edited about 6 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 3 months ago
Hey, I agree with the above comments, but I would also suggest getting advice from a trusted source, perhaps a student union or advisor who can listen to your issues and advise you properly. It sounds like what is happening to you is bullying and harassment , so I would suggest that if it is too difficult to so so now , upon graduation you could submit a formal complaint. If you wanted to take action to make things easier and keep you safe more immediately , they may be able to put in certain measures such as only meeting with your supervisors with a member of HR present etc. You deserve to be safe in the place you work.

Thread: Taking time off after PhD

posted
27-May-19, 00:32
edited about 24 seconds later
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 4 months ago
I agree with the above comments as very good options, but to offer my perspective (which is a bit different!) I would say that it’s important to spend time with your family when you can. You miss your family , so if you can afford it , I would try to be with them. Like you say you could look for a job at home, if that’s what you think you want. The way I see it is we only have so much time in this life (sorry - getting morbid) so we should try to enjoy it and do what feels right when we can.

Congrats on finishing :) !

Thread: Fish or Cut Bait? Go or No? Can 2 PhD's build a life together?

posted
05-Mar-19, 23:34
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 6 months ago
If you want to stay with him, and you want to get the PhD, you can make it work! :) these things can be tough but they’re only temporary. Have you had a chat with him and asked him what he wants or how he feels about it?

Thread: I Am Struggling and Don't Know What To Do

posted
28-Feb-19, 19:19
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 7 months ago
Quote From pm133:
Quote From lovelylisa83:
I just wanted to come here for some support from other PhD students and I feel like I am being attacked. I have not given up, I am just coming here for support - not to be judged and told that I basically need to suck it up. I want the PhD and that is what I am working hard for.


Nobody is attacking you on here. I'm not sure where you are getting that from.
You mentioned that you are having suicidal thoughts. Under those circumstances there is only one course of help and advice open to you and that is to seek urgent medical help.
Nobody on here is qualified to give you any other advice until you have dealt with your immediate medical emergency.



I’m sorry to jump in here , but to just give my personal perspective on this... When you are feeling suicidal and this is in part due to external circumastances. practical steps as to how to deal with the matter in hand (the PhD) are very helpful to alleviate some anxiety there and bring back a sense of control. Simply saying “forget the phd and get help” whilst very well meaning (and obviously it is very important to seek help of some sort!) can seem slightly aggressive and dismissive.

“Get help” - what help? Where? How?
“get help” - but there’s no available doctors appointments until next week
“get help” - I’m on a waiting list that goes on for months and in the mean time what do I do?!

I’m definitely not saying you’re wrong in any way, just in my opinion telling someone to not talk about the issues they’re facing until they have got “help” (that might not be readily available and is most likely oversubscribed and underfunded) shifts a lot of pressure back on to that person, who is asking for some support. Sorry I’m not the most articulate today, I wonder if that makes any sense ?

Thread: I Am Struggling and Don't Know What To Do

posted
28-Feb-19, 01:12
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 7 months ago
Quote From lovelylisa83:
I just wanted to come here for some support from other PhD students and I feel like I am being attacked. I have not given up, I am just coming here for support - not to be judged and told that I basically need to suck it up. I want the PhD and that is what I am working hard for.


Sorry I didn’t see this message until I had pressed send on my message already! It’s good you haven’t been put off by this experience , I think a PhD is such a feat of resilience and if you have a will to finish it, as I said before , there will be a way ! Can you agree to do the corrections , but ask first if you can take some time off ? I think a clear plan forward and a break might be really beneficial. During which perhaps you can see your GP and put a bit more support in place for your return? Just an idea!

Thread: I Am Struggling and Don't Know What To Do

posted
28-Feb-19, 01:03
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 7 months ago
This sounds really horrible! And I completely understand the gut reaction you’re having to it. Definitely have an honest chat with your supervisors , if you want to do this PhD, there will always be a a way forward! Yes a PhD can be harsh on your mental health, but if it’s what you want , you CAN do it , you might just need a bit of support. I think you need to think about what you want and what you need, speak with your supervisors and let us know what comes of the conversation. It’s not easy , but you can do this one step at a time, we are all behind you.

Thread: New Offer, and I am afraid ! How to Get rid of the ghost of Bad experience as a PhD student

posted
27-Feb-19, 19:54
Avatar for LilyRachel
posted about 7 months ago
Absolutely thrilled for you, you deserve this! And yes I agree with rest :) just wanted to say I’m really pleased for you.
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