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Nesrine87
Friday, 14 November 2014 at 9:52am
Thursday, 27 June 2019 at 4:07pm
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page 1 of 11 recent posts

Thread: I've been offered a post that my friend really wanted. Feeling guilty.

posted
04-Nov-16, 12:27
edited about 4 minutes later
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hey everyone,

I'm in an awkward situation and I'm not sure what to do, if anything. I’ve given minimal background to avoid a wall of text but feel free to ask for more details.

My friend (Adam), who is a first-year PhD student and has the same supervisor as me, just finished a two-year unfunded MPhil at the same uni and got really high exam results. He was really disappointed to then not get any funding for PhD living expenses but did get his tuition covered. I’m a fourth-year, hoping to submit early next year.

When speaking a few weeks ago, Adam told me that our sup had won a big grant and was looking for a research assistant from early next year, and that he hoped he’d get the post since he desperately needed the extra money (our sup knows this). I assumed he would get the post, and kinda forgot about our conversation.

Today my sup informally asks me whether I’m available/willing for the post (I am). He said I’m qualified and already know the necessary material. Nothing’s set in stone but it looks unlikely that Adam will get offered the post.

I feel really guilty. I don’t need the money as much as Adam. I am very lucky to have had full funding and also other sources of income. However, my field is very niche and the experience will be great for my CV especially as I’m hoping to take the following year out for maternity leave (if my body cooperates…)

I guess my question is…should I do or say anything? Is it better for Adam to hear the decision from our sup? Should I apologise? We’re quite close and I don’t have many friends in academia. I know he’s going to be really upset when he hears the news even if he acts happy for me.

Thanks for your help!

EDIT: maybe relevant? Adam mentioned that our sup advised him against applying for a PhD.

Thread: How to deal with competitive/ambitious students in my department?

posted
20-Oct-16, 16:07
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hi pm133,

Thanks for your input. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of large crowds or networking either. Networking feels kinda creepy to me. I'm definitely stop worrying about it so much and just spend time with people I like! Life's too short to hang around with hyper-competitive weirdos :)

Thread: How to deal with competitive/ambitious students in my department?

posted
19-Oct-16, 16:36
edited about 29 seconds later
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hi Tudor_Queen,

Thanks for your response. I actually had a similar problem to this when I first started my PhD (same dept, different group of students) and I think I took it too far which is partially why I ended up as Billy-no-mates...but who wants to hang around people who are trying to undercut you or show off anyway?

I think inviting one person for coffee could be a solution. I'm sure there are others who feel this way. Or, I was thinking I could try and do 'last-minute' invites so the event doesn't have time to build up in a big group thing! But I guess I run of risk of busy students never being free.

Anyway, if nothing else, I have my school friends who couldn't care less (in a good way) about my obscure academic achievements :)

Thread: How to deal with competitive/ambitious students in my department?

posted
19-Oct-16, 11:47
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hi TreeofLife,

I'm glad to know I'm not alone :) It also makes me feel inadequate even though I think I have toughened up considerably since starting a PhD! I was a ball of nerves before...

Maybe I will try to see what some of the others think, as you suggested.

Thanks!

Thread: How to deal with competitive/ambitious students in my department?

posted
19-Oct-16, 10:01
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hi forumites,

I’m a fourth-year PhD student. Due to a long list of personal events, I haven’t made good friends in my university. Also I am shy around new people but once I get over myself, I think I am a fun person to hang out with.

I have become friendly with a few students from my department but again due to circumstances, our relationships have been superficial. Recently, several large get-togethers have been organised as we have more students now. These involve around 15 people.

Naturally, I get on with some students better than others. Generally speaking, my university attracts hyper-competitive, ambitious students, and I find it very stressful dealing with these types as I feel like I am constantly being interrogated or ‘networked’. Even with the nicer students, there is still sometimes a sense of competition (“Oh you don’t speak fluent French? I thought everyone spoke French.”, “How have you not read that work?? I thought you were a fourth-year!!” etc.). After socialising, I feel very anxious, not relaxed as with non-PhD friends. I don’t mind having a moan about academia but 'shop talk' is 90% of the conversation.

Since some of these people may well be my peers for several years, I don’t want to just avoid everyone completely. My field is very small so I don’t want to get a reputation for being aloof or unfriendly. I could organise smaller get-togethers that exclude certain people but I worry that I will look like the ‘bad guy’. I would feel hurt if that were me being excluded. I could gently bring it up with some of the nicer people but I don't know how they'll react. It’s more than likely that if I invite 2-3 people for coffee, each of those people will tell other people, and then suddenly it’s a 10-person lunch.

I’d be grateful for any suggestions on how to navigate this! Thanks :)

Thread: PhD students: Is your CV online? Why?

posted
07-Oct-16, 14:35
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hmm, it seems not many people have put their CVs online!

Thread: PhD students: Is your CV online? Why?

posted
06-Oct-16, 12:46
edited about 26 seconds later
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hey everyone,

I'm debating whether to put my CV on academia.edu. I haven't been able to find any online discussions/articles talking about the pros/cons of doing this.

I'd like to know your thoughts as I've been pretty poor at coming up with my own reasons for and against! I guess the main reason I want to is that there's stuff on my CV that I can't 'upload' to my profile (I find academia.edu very limited). BUT I'm constantly thinking that my CV isn't impressive enough and maybe it won't reflect well on me...

Whether you've decided to upload your CV or not, I'd be very interested to hear your reasoning/experience.

Thanks :)

Thread: Can I submit an article-under-review for an essay prize?

posted
04-Oct-16, 16:32
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
That's hilarious/tragic. How on earth did they think they'd get away with that??

Either way, thank you for the tip! They haven't really listed any guidelines apart from word count which is good and bad I suppose. I like guidelines because they give you something to work towards but it also means I don't have to do much editing (I think).

Thread: Can I submit an article-under-review for an essay prize?

posted
04-Oct-16, 16:22
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Thanks! :)

Thread: Can I submit an article-under-review for an essay prize?

posted
04-Oct-16, 15:30
edited about 22 seconds later
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Before anyone replies...

My husband convinced me to email the journal and the essay contest people, checking with both. Editor says its fine as long as the paper won't be circulated beyond the selection committee, and the committee chair has assured me that this is indeed the case. Everyone was very nice about it so I don't think I offended anyone!

Thread: Can I submit an article-under-review for an essay prize?

posted
04-Oct-16, 10:00
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hi everyone,

I submitted an article to a peer-reviewed (humanities) journal yesterday and, as is normal, confirmed that I hadn't and wouldn't submit it anywhere else for consideration.

Today, I received an alert about a graduate student essay prize for which the deadline is in a month. With some student essay prizes, they say "the winning paper may be considered for publication in our journal". However, I can't see any evidence of that here even though the prize-givers do run a journal. There's not much information actually other than a word limit. It doesn't even say the paper has to be unpublished but I assume it should be.

I figure I could ask both the journal and the people running the prize whether it's okay but I don't want to annoy anyone if it's a definite no-no...

What do you forumites think?

Thread: How did you feel when you submitted your PhD thesis? Were you correct about your predicted outcome?

posted
29-Sep-16, 16:41
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Thanks for this :)

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do in that year away from research?

Thread: How did you feel when you submitted your PhD thesis? Were you correct about your predicted outcome?

posted
28-Sep-16, 15:38
edited about 3 seconds later
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hi all,

I'm in the final few months of write-up and I don't personally know many other PhD students (humanities hermit).

I'm curious to know how forumites felt when they finally submitted, and whether what they felt about their work ended up being accurate? I.e. if you felt bad, did you end up doing major corrections, or if you felt good, was it minor corrections? Or, does everyone just *hate* their work by the end, regardless of quality? :)

Interested to hear your stories!

Thread: Coming into second year and feeling a bit behind...

posted
09-Sep-16, 15:53
edited about 26 seconds later
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
I'd say no, because I'm fairly sure I have no idea what that is. Sorry! My thesis is the bog-standard intro, chps 1-4, conclusion.

Thread: Coming into second year and feeling a bit behind...

posted
06-Sep-16, 11:05
Avatar for Nesrine87
posted about 3 years ago
Hi, I'm sorry, I totally forgot that I posted on this thread :S

I did a Masters, and I'm just about to start the fourth year of my PhD. My masters and first year of PhD was about my original topic, which then changed at the end of my first year...but hopefully I'll use that research in some capacity some day! Like chickpea, I'm also done with my funded period. I would echo her advice about doing chunks of writing to keep you thinking about your topic. My uni has two upgrades so we're forced to keep writing throughout rather than leaving it all until the end and it's been stressful but ultimately beneficial.
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