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SnowDay
Friday, 2 March 2018 at 2:56pm
Tuesday, 6 March 2018 at 8:16pm
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Thread: Totally fed up

posted
06-Mar-18, 20:19
edited about 16 seconds later
by SnowDay
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posted about 9 months ago
Hi all,

Thank you so much for all your replies. I feel a bit less alone now just reading them!

Today I got a paper draft back from my supervisor. They had seen a previous version and made some minor comments and changes... Today the whole thing has been re-written. I've asked to meet tomorrow to find out why the changes are suddenly so drastic, and if I can have some general advice to find out where my writing is apparently going so wrong lately. If I can't stop the total re-writes, at least I can find out why the changes are so big and hopefully work on any problems in my own work!

After posting this I actually managed to book a week long holiday away. It's not for a few weeks yet, but I think it's helped having something to look forward to. It's very easy to get caught up in this whole PhD thing and make it the centre of your life and self worth, so hopefully a break will help with the low mood.

Thank you all again for commenting, it's really helped to get some other perspectives.

Thread: Totally fed up

posted
02-Mar-18, 15:06
by SnowDay
Avatar for SnowDay
posted about 9 months ago
Hi everyone,

I'm adding my own rant/ramble about my PhD on the forum - it looks like a fair few other are in similar positions with being completely sick of their PhDs...

I'm almost halfway through my PhD, and I've really hit a complete wall of disinterest and lack of enthusiasm. I know I'm doing well with my PhD, I recently passed a formal meeting with no problems, I was told I have enough material for a thesis now, and I have several published papers, so I'm relatively sure that I could complete it (I'm really not trying to brag here by the way!). However, I have *terrible* impostor syndrome, probably depression and anxiety, and the positives aren't outweighing the negatives. I'm never sure whether the things I do well are because of me, or because of my supervisor, which is terrifying me about the future viva.

My PhD supervisor is good, and we get on very well - really it should be a perfect situation and I should be loving life, but I'm just... not. I'm really not enjoying anything, I feel like a fraud, and honestly the only reason I'm continuing is because I'm so far through.

I was working on a few minor tasks I had to complete today, and my supervisor sent back a draft poster. They had completely changed everything to their own liking, which just made me feel completely stupid and amplified the impostor syndrome. This isn't an uncommon thing - I'm told that my work isn't bad, it's just my supervisor has a preferred way of doing things... It is just increasingly contributing to my negative feelings.

I know I need to bring this up with my supervisor, but because we get on very well and they can't see that I have all these problems, it's just hard. I feel like admitting it is just yet another sign I'm not cut out for this.

I should have been a baker instead!
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