posted about 2 years ago
Hi Arthemesus,
I cannot relate to this specific situation because I haven't embarked on a PhD, but I've had my share of moments where things have seemed hopeless, at that time.
I agree wholeheartedly with what Ephiny says, that there is a bigger picture to this. I urge you to see the positive in this situation, which is, that none of this is your fault, but your supervisor's. Did you make a blunder in your work? No. Did you fail to have your work at the required standard, absolutely not. You've come so far, purely on your merit, so do not blame yourself.
The situation is purely to do with your supervisor. It wasn't in your hands. There was nothing you could do anyway to predict that your supervisor would cheat your bench fee. This isn't going to be on your conscience, so be mindful of that.
If your PhD takes longer, so what? It isn't the end. You WILL still get it, it may take just a bit longer than you expected. It's all part of your journey to get your PhD, embrace it. I had a tough first year during my Masters degree, where I felt like quitting innumerable times, but I pulled through. You are NOT alone.
I strongly urge you to concentrate on getting your PhD done, as best as you can. You can then look back at this in retrospect, and it will all be fine.
Do not give up, you're better than that, and nothing is worth taking your life over.
I wish you the very best,
TNW