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Bullying controlling PhD supervisor

L

I am doing a PhD in Physics and my PhD supervisor has been bullying me for nearly a year (i started last year and he started to bully me when i was a few months into my PhD). I have been very stressed and unhappy about it and had to see doctors. He likes to control every small trivial tiny aspect of my work, like tiny issues in my plots. He micromanages me so much that I feel like I am a 5 yr old. He requires me to ask his permission *before* I do any calculation. He interrogates me in our weekly meetings like I am a criminal. For example he asks me to repeat what he just had told me! He intimidates me by questioning me like a silly child. He tells me I "exhibit lack of judgement" and I "overestimate my abilities" and so I have to do some "soul searching". He hugely criticise me for every tiny issue and requires me to overwork to the extent that I often have no time to eat lunch and I have to work at night and during weekends. I have already another PhD in computer science (this one would be my second PhD) and I have got a very great track record in computer science but he even undermines my computer science knowledge constantly (he even does not know a programming language,little about statistics, but he is a good physicist). I receive really very good feedback about my current research from everyone in the department except him. I have respected him too much till recently and never objected till a few days ago. I am making formal complaint against him as he seem to become more controlling and bullying day by day. I am wondering if you have any idea why he is so controlling and bullying? Other students also find him very controlling but not to this extent. Do you think he has some sort of personality disorder or what??? Any advice?

M

One physics professor told me he often "bullies" gifted high school students during their science projects. It is his belief that stressful environment can stretch the students to their fullest potential. Your professor is likely someone who pushes himself a lot too. Don't take it personally.

Perhaps, your PhD is about some theoretical simulations on condensed matter physics or fluid dynamics? Don't see any point for you to proceed with a second PhD. There could job opportunities for you to apply your knowledge in physics and computer science to simulate global financial markets. Just a backup plan for you.

L

Quote From MeaninginLife:
One physics professor told me he often "bullies" gifted high school students during their science projects. It is his belief that stressful environment can stretch the students to their fullest potential. Your professor is likely someone who pushes himself a lot too. Don't take it personally.

Perhaps, your PhD is about some theoretical simulations on condensed matter physics or fluid dynamics? Don't see any point for you to proceed with a second PhD. There could job opportunities for you to apply your knowledge in physics and computer science to simulate global financial markets. Just a backup plan for you.



Thanks for your reply and kind advice.
Well, true, I do not need another PhD degree. I started it only because I loved it. But this bullying has been so damaging to my health and my self-esteem in Physics that I cannot help but take it very personally. :(
I would love to apply my skills to any area specially finance ( I know how cool it would be) but I also want to do my research. I have spent one year on this research and I have produced many publishable results. It is just hard to leave it, but if he wants to continue to bully me (which I am sure it will be the case), I will leave as soon as I proceed with my complaint. I will not subject myself to this illegal treatment but I like to know why he is doing that? why me? I have never disrespected him and I did everything he wanted (although it was mostly stupid). Do you think that he suffers from some sort of mental disorder and enjoys hurting people??? He humiliates me about things I expect to be rewarded. He sends me more unpleasant hurtful emails when I am on a sick leave! So recently whenever I am sick, I take an annual leave so that his "problem" is not triggered. If he suffers from some mental issue, then there must be ways to help him and consequently help me and others?

H

I am glad you took that action, I wished I have done the same as you before it's too late.

I don't think there is anything "wrong" with you, in fact, you seem to be a very understanding student!

Also, it's likely that you are not the only victim, but you are probably the only person who made an official complain- well done on that.

There are too many people like this in the academy, and no one is doing anything abou it, it allows these people to think it's OK to use their power to bully their students, or intimidate other young and talented researchers.

I hope your department can look into this soon!

Please keep us update on how it goes, and well done again for making the academy a better place!

H

To quote Albert Eistein, "“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything”

M

Hi LilyLily,

In a sense, your supervisor's tactics have worked! You've publishable results in first year of research under his "guidance". You may become like him one day because his micromanagement helps to produce many publishable results within short period of time.

Some teachers who have gone through "punishment" may believe that this is a good way for personal growth. Your supervisor may have undergone similar treatment when he was a PhD student...

Your situation could be worse if there is jealousy because of your PhD in another field or your look suggests you can be bullied? Just another guess.

But you should submit your results for publication before making formal complaints. Meanwhile spend more time with other professors or Head of Department... Actually, you could request for change of supervisor and work with minimal guidance. Later, just let him know that you're not unhappy with him, but you need a more positive environment, something similar to your first PhD.

L

Quote From human:
I am glad you took that action, I wished I have done the same as you before it's too late.

I don't think there is anything "wrong" with you, in fact, you seem to be a very understanding student!

Also, it's likely that you are not the only victim, but you are probably the only person who made an official complain- well done on that.

There are too many people like this in the academy, and no one is doing anything abou it, it allows these people to think it's OK to use their power to bully their students, or intimidate other young and talented researchers.

I hope your department can look into this soon!

Please keep us update on how it goes, and well done again for making the academy a better place!



Many thanks for your kind supporting reply. I talked to the head of department and he seem to be defending my supervisor. I feel being victimised but I gonna see a solicitor. Sadly my scholarship comes from his grant not from the university. Conclusion: never accept scholarship from supervisor grants since they will use it to control you :(. I will resign if they cannot make him be a PHD supervisor not an early childhood teacher. ;). It is so toxic for my health as I was told by medical professionals.

L

Quote From MeaninginLife:
Hi LilyLily,

In a sense, your supervisor's tactics have worked! You've publishable results in first year of research under his "guidance". You may become like him one day because his micromanagement helps to produce many publishable results within short period of time.

Some teachers who have gone through "punishment" may believe that this is a good way for personal growth. Your supervisor may have undergone similar treatment when he was a PhD student...

Your situation could be worse if there is jealousy because of your PhD in another field or your look suggests you can be bullied? Just another guess.

But you should submit your results for publication before making formal complaints. Meanwhile spend more time with other professors or Head of Department... Actually, you could request for change of supervisor and work with minimal guidance. Later, just let him know that you're not unhappy with him, but you need a more positive environment, something similar to your first PhD.


Thanks for your message and your support. Sadly I cannot change him. My scholarship comes from his grant. But I will resign unless he starts to be a human (unlikely).

L

Quote From human:
To quote Albert Eistein, "“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything”


nice one! High five !

M

Why was Joker laughing when Batman was beating Joker violently?
One school of thought is the violence in Joker has spread into Batman. Batman has "become evil" by fighting with evil.

In graduate schools, the violence of supervisors may also infect the PhD students.
So, we should violate Newton’s Third Law, by not exerting violent reaction back to the "evil" supervisor.

It should be very nice of you to tell the Head of Department in a very nice way that you are trying to help your supervisor. In the industry, the environment can be more harsh; they may think that the PhD students cannot take stress or pressure.

H

Understand your pain as I am also funded by my supervisor directly! She also uses the grant to control/threathen me!

What did your head of department say to defend him? To be honest, if your department (especially the head) tolerate this type of behaviour in supervising, I don't think it's healthy for you to do your PhD there.

Another way is to report this to the welfare officer or vice chancellor if you feel your department is not looking into this issue properly.

L

Quote From human:
Understand your pain as I am also funded by my supervisor directly! She also uses the grant to control/threathen me!

What did your head of department say to defend him? To be honest, if your department (especially the head) tolerate this type of behaviour in supervising, I don't think it's healthy for you to do your PhD there.

Another way is to report this to the welfare officer or vice chancellor if you feel your department is not looking into this issue properly.


Hi,

Thanks. It is a good idea :)

J

Hi LilyLily,
First of all, I can't believe how similar your story is to mine, I similarly took on a PhD funded through my supervisor (albeit my first) and encountered what can only be described as unacceptable behaviour. He has constantly undermined my confidence and it has got to the stage of complaint to the head of school. I saw two welfare tutors before christmas and both first asked whether he was the problem, it seems it is well known within both the research group and the school that he behaves in this manner, in fact a student changed supervisor a few months before I began at the university (though I haven't heard the full detail of that case).

I'm currently on sick leave which soon expires and the only option that the school seem to offer is to go back or quit. I'm both broke and feel like I have little chance of winning another PhD place. I'm completely lost as to what to do. I do hope you have had more luck than myself but I can't believe that this kind of behaviour is as widespread as it seems. Something needs to be done.

A

Hi LilyLily,

Thanks for sharing your terrible story. You urgently need to go to the students' union, they have legal people at their disposal - that you don't need to pay for. You just turn up. Is there anything that has stopped you going to the union? They are on your side 100%! I've had great help with them. Your university should also have an equalities service - if you're a woman or from an ethnic minority or been ill (which you say you have) they should be able to help you. I've had enormous help from them too. Also if you're worried about your career in taking this horrible person on then go to the careers service. DO NOT PAY FOR A SOLICITOR out of your own money - the University has money to sort out this sort of thing. Just go to the students' union or another trade union. Like you say, this action is illegal and unacceptable, make sure you write down with dates everything he has said and done to you and it sounds like you have a very good case to me. He must go, not you. Have confidence and faith in yourself!

Hi LilyLily,

Whilst not in a research setting, I had a boss who wanted to belittle everyone and micro-manage because we were all far less capable and needed to be treated as children! There were two tactics that really worked.

First, take notes verbatim or even carry a Dictaphone into the meeting openly. When challenged, I pointed out that I had been told so often that I was incompetent that I needed a verbatim aide-memoir. When told that it would not be acceptable, I started to walk out before being asked back. This calmed things down for a while.

The second strategy employed by a colleague was to email the manager of the bully and all those of our level with specific details of what was said. He was called into a meeting immediately with the bully and the ueber-manager and told he was being a bully by the one who was bullying! He did the same thing again the next time he was bullied .. and then a third time before he too was off the hit list. It sounds as if you have nothing to lose and potentially something to gain by pushing back.

I prefer a nice peaceful environment in which everyone is supportive and don't, in general, agree with making waves but there are situations when we are forced into a corner. Bullies don't like being bullied.

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