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Can anyone help me with this paragraph?

H

Does anyone have better idea to present this paragraph? Please give me some advice. Deeply appreciated.

[The role of facilitator is to presented the training information to the participants, as well as listen and learn from the other participants, and share her experiences and insights with them. Please keep in mind “THERE IS NO HEALTHCARE ADVISOR IN THIS TRAINING PROGRAM”. ]


Thank you everyone.

P

Apart from it should be 'present' not 'presented' I don't think there's anything wrong with that paragraph.

T

Quote From Hiini:
Does anyone have better idea to present this paragraph? Please give me some advice. Deeply appreciated.

[The role of facilitator is to presented the training information to the participants, as well as listen and learn from the other participants, and share her experiences and insights with them. Please keep in mind “THERE IS NO HEALTHCARE ADVISOR IN THIS TRAINING PROGRAM”. ]


Thank you everyone.


Seems to jump around tenses a bit .

I am unsure who is listening and learning- the facilitator (as the text suggests) or are the participant's learning from each other's experiences??

I would start with 'The facilitator will....'

Is there a reason for female pronoun?? I would change to their.

Why is the healthcare advisor bit in capital letters and speech marks? Just write that 'There will be no healthcare advisor present....'

H

Quote From pd1598:
Apart from it should be 'present' not 'presented' I don't think there's anything wrong with that paragraph.


thank you =)

H

Quote From Thesisfun:
Quote From Hiini:
Does anyone have better idea to present this paragraph? Please give me some advice. Deeply appreciated.

[The role of facilitator is to presented the training information to the participants, as well as listen and learn from the other participants, and share her experiences and insights with them. Please keep in mind “THERE IS NO HEALTHCARE ADVISOR IN THIS TRAINING PROGRAM”. ]


Thank you everyone.


Seems to jump around tenses a bit .

I am unsure who is listening and learning- the facilitator (as the text suggests) or are the participant's learning from each other's experiences??

I would start with 'The facilitator will....'

Is there a reason for female pronoun?? I would change to their.

Why is the healthcare advisor bit in capital letters and speech marks? Just write that 'There will be no healthcare advisor present....'


thank you for your advice

47286