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I've got a theory, that its a demon

L

Hello my lovelies

Well I have been very absent for a month or so now, mainly hiding underthe sofa in fear of my PhD but I have tonight given myself a beautiful new wall chart which has a day by day break down from now til sept submission and what I will be doing until then. Heres the thing. Ive never stuck to a schedule in my life, and I think the schedule is pretty kind sat and sunday off but Im still a bit worried about sticking to it.

I NEED to stick to it. Its squeaky bum time and for me to genuinely get a good running jump at this bad boy stuck to it must be (oh I sound like yoda)

Can anyone offer any advice or support? Ive moved back into my office and gone into superduper organising mode, but im still worried.

This is the first time I have ever not left anything to the last minute and Im currently bribing myself shamelessly to get through it, a trip to Los Angeles is on the table at the moment for october if I get all done and handed in!

I just for once want to do something well, and I have had enough of panicking so this is me trying with all my might to get a handle on this and finally get this awful awful thing done.

Love to you all

Lim

p.s Joan Bolker is a God I freakin love that woman

L

======= Date Modified 05 Feb 2009 17:52:12 =======

Quote From liminalplace:


p.s Joan Bolker is a God I freakin love that woman



lol i know what you mean, that woman got me through the entire time i was writing my thesis. it was my bible throughout last year, constantly referred to it, it was like having a constant support/companion and sympathetic friend. i agree with you, it SHOULD be mandatory reading for every phd-er who is writing their thesis.

i know how you feel about schedule and sticking to a daily routine. i myself made a wall chart plan in excel, for 1 month. learn everything under the sun about my thesis for my viva. its very scary. but what i try to do is set small tasks that are do-able , that no matter what i must do. like i HAVE to read 6 pages of my thesis everyday. it usually takes about 30 minutes. so thats something i know i can do EVERYDAY even if the rest of the day i have done nothing, i wont let myself go to sleep unless those pages have been read.

and then i just do as much revision of other stuff.

my advice. do *something* everyday. its not HOW much you do , its that you work on your thesis EVERYDAY even if its just a little bit - that counts.

in the words of bolker

"EVERY day is MORE important than how much time you spend, or how many pages you produce or the quality"

just take it one section at a time, do it bit by bit.

how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.

anything is do-able, if you break it up in little chunks. some days the writing will flow, other days you will be drowning in reading papers. it all counts. if you really find yourself avoiding work. set your egg timer and tell yourself you only have to work for 15 minutes and then you can take a break. most often the case is , the 15minutes ends up being much longer.

do take breaks though throughout the day. reward yourself.

and like bolker says, dont aim to write perfect, just write, whatever it is. rough draft is better than no draft, and you can then build up on it and improve on it.

good luck! we're with you every step of the way. you CAN do this. trust me. it will all fall into place. just keep at it. and dont give up. if you find yourself feeling overwelmed by the huge mountain of it all. just do one small thing. and carry on.

L

Lol Lara I would hug you if I could! Its so nice that someone else knows the feeling and is giving encouragement. I think on here its like a Quid pro Quo thing, the post thesis waiting for viva people give it to those of us writing up, the writers give it to the 2nd and first years worrying about the practicalities of it all and the second years give their experience to the first years.

At the minute, the only reason im doing this thesis is to get it done. I dont care anymore I just want it ready and handed in. Yes everyone keeps talking about deep seated subject interest etc etc and loving it and all that. But honestly and truthfully, I have none of it left, Im just getting it done now. But I think thats ok. I know a lot of people get put off by all the proclamations that if you hate it and you arent getting your thirst for knowledge quenched then leave, but to me I just think, right now its a job and Ive fannied about for 2 years but this is the serious stuff now and I need to get it done and finished.

PhD students, we think too much. I said let Joan worry for you, just use heas the PhD bible, Im sending that woman a thank you card when I finish. I thank all the people from the 'write your phd in fifteen minutes a day accountability forum' for advising me to get the book!!!

Thanks for replying Lara, I think I have been kind with my time in my schedule, im currently working in a 5k run training and I am so unfit- so it should be interesting lol and goodluck to you in the viva, you sound well prepared though!

A

Just a side note - I really hate it when people talk about academic/intellectual endeavours etc etc etc...It really embarrasses me and I think it alienates non-researchers. Plus, it's just not true for me!!

You seem really cautiously positive about the next year and I think that's the ideal state of mind for writing up. It's how I imagine I will be if I ever get my research sorted.

Good luck to you Lim. I've off to order Joan Bolker. I think that lady should pay you and Lara for selling it so well!!!

A

C

======= Date Modified 05 Feb 2009 11:56:06 =======
I just wanted to thank you for saying that it's okay not to love your thesis anymore in the writing up stage. This is something I have really been struggling with lately. I know the thesis is not that far from being a full draft. But I feel nothing towards it at the moment. I don't care about it at all. The motivation is just not there. I think it's because in my head I've already moved on from those ideas. I want to do a different kind of history and this topic just doesn't really do it for me anymore.

So I've been feeling really ambivalent towards it and wondering if it meant that I'm not cut out for this lark. But maybe it's only natural. As a part-timer, I'm now in my fifth year with this topic. This is why it needs to be my last. I need to move on to bigger and better things. Thank you for the motivation!

R

Hello Liminal, I wondered how you were doing! :-)

It probably doesn't feel like it as it's all relative, but you've got lots of time. Stick with Joan and you'll be alright!(up) I haven't even read it but the tips I've had via Lara have been invaluable and they work! Don't beat yourself up mentally when you don't stick to your timetable, as long as you're doing something, anything PhD-related, as it's better than nothing.

I'm sick of mine - SICK of it, though it's just the thesis, not the subject, luckily. I just want to get it done now. I feel like those runners that get to the last bit of the London marathon, forcing themselves to carry on even though they're well and truly knackered, till they drop just past the finishing line and get wrapped up in a silver foil blanket and get their medal or whatever it is they hang round their necks. So that'll be you with your 5k training then! ;-) For me, a nice beer and being able to move on to something else will be enough!

T

It could be bunnies?

I feel your pain.. I am in the final stages of my PhD with the thesis mountain to tackle! I feel the main thing to remember is that you are only human, and so you are bound to have days when you can't stick to your schedule. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day, or don't get as much accomplished as you wanted to do on a particular day.. you will have super productive days where you can make up the deficit :)

I also can't stick to a schedule either. I used to put together a revision timetable for exams but on some days I wouldn't want to revise that particular topic so just revise something different then totally ignore the timetable from then on! When I am writing stuff I find it easier to break it all up into little chunks so that I could have a thousand or so words to write on a particular section. It is so much easier to think 'I have 1,000 words to write on this bit' than thinking 'ARGH I have a 10,000 word chapter to write'. Plus if you break it up into sections you can easily move onto another part if you feel like you are getting nowhere on that day..

Good luck with it! 8-)(up)

L

======= Date Modified 06 Feb 2009 23:00:13 =======

Quote From liminalplace:

Lol Lara I would hug you if I could! Its so nice that someone else knows the feeling and is giving encouragement. I think on here its like a Quid pro Quo thing, the post thesis waiting for viva people give it to those of us writing up, the writers give it to the 2nd and first years worrying about the practicalities of it all and the second years give their experience to the first years.

Thanks for replying Lara, I think I have been kind with my time in my schedule, im currently working in a 5k run training and I am so unfit- so it should be interesting lol and goodluck to you in the viva, you sound well prepared though!


lol! you're so sweet. and you are very welcome!! i loved what you said about quid pro quo! what a lovely sentiment and so very true :)


i completely agree with you, once you start writing the thesis, the whole "oh i love my subject, and im so passionate about X Y Z" goes out the flying window! i've yet to come across a phd student that hasnt wanted to chuck out their computer or their half written thesis out the window. by the time you get to writing your thesis. you just want to get the darn thing written and done with. so dont beat yourself up about it. just treat it like a job and get the thing written and submitted. it will never be perfect and dont waste time and worry about getting it perfect, just get it done to the best of your ability.

thirst for knowledge and all that is all fine and dandy when your "researching" but when you have to write it all up in an coherent thesis thats when it can drive you nuts. i agree with you, you just need to get it written. dont worry about lack of motivation, because as joan says, you CAN write a thesis, even if you have no motivation and even if you dont want to. you pretty much just force yourself. like forcing yourself to take sour medicine, you dont like it, but you do it. becauase you know you HAVE to. you can even force yourself to write even if you just want to bolt from your office desk. the ol egg timer set to 15 minutes usually does the trick.

i personally use it for when i am bored and dont want to read anymore papers, so i have a matron type voice in my head saying "sit yourself back down and read that paper and do not even think about unglueing your butt from the chair, until the timer goes off, then you can go and do whatever it is that you want to do during your break". lol

thanks for your kind words, oh i'm very unprepared for my viva. but just taking it one day at a time. with anything in life, whether its writing a thesis or preparing for a viva, you cant do everything in one day. like you cant eat all your meals for one week in one day. you gotta spread it out. so just do as much as you can each day. and like Ruby said, whatever bit you work on, is better than nothing.

Quote From a116:

Just a side note - I really hate it when people talk about academic/intellectual endeavours etc etc etc...It really embarrasses me and I think it alienates non-researchers. Plus, it's just not true for me!!
I've off to order Joan Bolker. I think that lady should pay you and Lara for selling it so well!!!

A


lol! nice idea ;) i'm happy that other phd-ers can benefit from a book that really helped me :)
and i completely agree with you, it's not true for me either!

L

Quote From tricky:


I also can't stick to a schedule either. I used to put together a revision timetable for exams but on some days I wouldn't want to revise that particular topic so just revise something different then totally ignore the timetable from then on! )


lol!! that's so me too!! i spend so much time making elaborate plans and schedules and wall charts and revision time tables, and then the first day, it all goes out the window! its difficult to micromanage things that sometimes you just have no clue or cant predict how long its going to take. so my new motto is to do "something" everyday.

L

Quote From CeCeF:

======= Date Modified 05 Feb 2009 11:56:06 =======
I just wanted to thank you for saying that it's okay not to love your thesis anymore in the writing up stage. This is something I have really been struggling with lately. I know the thesis is not that far from being a full draft. But I feel nothing towards it at the moment. I don't care about it at all. The motivation is just not there. I think it's because in my head I've already moved on from those ideas. I want to do a different kind of history and this topic just doesn't really do it for me anymore.

So I've been feeling really ambivalent towards it and wondering if it meant that I'm not cut out for this lark. But maybe it's only natural. As a part-timer, I'm now in my fifth year with this topic. This is why it needs to be my last. I need to move on to bigger and better things. Thank you for the motivation!


its perfectly normal and natural to feel nonchalant towards your thesis at this stage, you dont have to love it at all, just focus on getting it done and dusted. thats how i feel whilst i am preparing for my viva, treating it like a "job" that i "have" to do. writing a phd thesis is unlike anything you will ever have to do in life. its such a HUGE task that its very overwelming, just the sheer magnitude of it, can leave someone feeling very intimidated.

L

Yay!

You see I knew just by being bluntly honest some other people must be feeling the same way... Have had a shit day today, banks are not friends to PhD students so had to sort out a lot of that crap. Did some writing not as much as I wanted, meant to have a day off tomorro so im gonna pick up the slack there and hopefully feel a bit better. Lara you are right, you do have to treat it like a job, even when you dont want to. Its weird even though I feel like im doing loads I dont have any new chapters to show for it, just freewriting and harvested book quotes, but my sup has my schedule so she isnt expecting anything for another week and a bit. Deffo going to stick to it though, both my supervisors have put aside time to read it when I submit so have to honour that with them.

Tricky, bunnies arent just cute like everybody supposes, they got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses...

Himself tells me that even at PhD its like being in a primary school class with everyone not wanting to put their hand up in case the answer they have is wring, I think its the same with people not wanting to admit to not doing as well or being as ahead as others, I tend to be bluntly honest about it because I cant just be the only one. Im sure loads of people know the feeling so you arent alone. Dont give up your phd because you hate it, most of us hate it. Head down and get it done. It just is a small time in the grand scheme of things then you can go terrorise the banks!

xx

P

Hear what you are saying about the banks. They'll be different once we write "Dr" on the forms. Well, if i ever get to write it! Feeling like the laziest student in the world at the moment. I'm cringing everytime i look at my laptop - trying not to make eye contact!!! Will i really finish this? i can't even commit to a final submission date. I have one set by the uni of course but I really should be able to finish a few months before. I've decided I'd like to submit by June and can do if I write. But even I know that this deadline is artifical as I have until September officially. Bluntly, i want to finish, but can't be bothered!!

wow, the powers of this forum. I was just commenting about banks now I've admitted "I can't be bothered".

I must get this book!

L

Ah Possum I think we all know that feeling. Glad you got at least the courage to type it out loud lol!

The laptop thing I get entirely, I ahve a huge pile of books sitting in the corner, looking at me in unread smugness....

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