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just started PHD and really depressed

V

Hi all, i just started my PhD 6 months ago and i felt already so depressed and very unmotivated. the changes are too much from my master program. also the social life is not promising anything. i cry over small things and feel very lonely. tried some activities but nothing seems giving big impacts. i think if being only 6 months already make me this stressed can i really survive another 3,5 years or more?

anybody just started and feels the same?

B

Hi. I'm coming up to the end of my first year and can really relate to how you feel. A couple of months ago I was so close to just quitting I was that fed up. I felt like I'd wasted half a year, and had virtually nothing to show for my efforts. But talk to your friends, family, other students and crucially your supervisor. I did, and got a few things in perspective, really thought about why I'd started a PhD and realised that it could be an opportunity rather than a burden if I approached it in the right way for me. I'd strongly recommend a trip to your students union for the social life - they really aren't just for undergrads, there's a lot of opportunities open to PhD students too.

C

It can be quite common. I was quite depressed, and still am about my PhD. I'm near the end of 4 years.

A

Is the social life a problem because you're swamped with work or because you're isolated at home or in the lab so you can't meet people? Definitely talk to your supervisor about how you're feeling, and chin up

S

Hi, I think a lot of people suffer in the first year - I did. 6 months in I was coming in every day and crying at my desk, I was apsolutely miserable and couldn't believe what I'd let myself in for... it was such a huge learning curve and I just felt like I couldn't cope. So you're not alone. For me, admitting there was a problem was the key - I sat down with my supervisor and explained the way I was feeling, and we managed to cut back the amount I was trying to do so that I could cope. I also went to a conference and met lots of other people doing the same thing as me - and that really inspired me. That was the worst low for me. It is a roller coaster ride though, and there've been plenty more tears, and quite a few smiles along the way. In 2 months I submit.

S

What you can do to get yourself out of this rut, only you can work out, but at least you've recognised something needs doing! Get a better work-play balance - joing the postgrad society (ours isn't great but at least they have weekly get togethers) or another university club. I'm a mature student so feel the student societies are a bit young for me, but we also have a mature students group who meet up weekly. Find something you really enjoy doing outside the phD... exercise or otherwise (exercise and pottery classes were great de-stressors for me). And talk to your supervisor about your PhD - if not your supervisor, talk to colleagues. To help feel a bit more cheerful St Johns Wort also helped with me (but don't take it if you're taking other medications).

T

I was really down about the PhD when I first started, I felt I had a mountain to climb and that I wasn't really up to the task. I think my big mistake was to try and read as many papers as possible alot of which I didn't understand. I should also have looked into recuring areas where I knew my knowlage was weak rather than relying on explainations I didn't really understand from the papes. My supervisor spent the first year of his PhD working on his maths to understand the papers in his feild.

Tiggs

A

I think everyone feels down at some point in their PhD. If you do feel down: a) talk to your colleagues and your friends about what you’re going through. It's surprising how many other PhD students will be feeling the same way as you, they may just not show it. b) Talk to your supervisor. They have a habit of getting so caught up in the work you do, they forget to see the actual person who’s doing it and how they're coping. c) Keep trying different hobbies/activities. It does wonders to get away from lab/library/office etc. and not to think about your PhD be it going to the gym, jumping in a swimming pool or, as one interesting student here did, join the skydiving club. Anything as long it's not related to your day to day "job". Best of luck.

T

Talking about hobbies, I know its probably concidered a bit weird but I get a real break from thinking about the Phd playing for a local brass band. Its a weird thing, to play the music you have to concentrate on the notes you can't think about anything else while your doing it.

Tiggs

V

thanks lots for the replies.the thing most makes me depressed is the social changing.i'm always be a very social person with lots of international best friends that became the perfect support system to deal with many problems being abroad.but i moved to another city for this PhD and now dealing very often with local people with diff culture i'm not used to it (yet).and the literature study seems tobe endless.i've been waiting todo my first experiment since few months ago but something always gets inthe way that i can't do anyting about but waiting.hope everything will change in another month or two.half year is wasted already and it doesnt feel good at all.

S

Don't worry too much (though keep pestering your supervisor!), it's normal for a project to have a few hiccups at the beginning - my first season I spent it trying to get equipment working and didn't manage it until right at the end of the season (field biology for me restricted to seasons). After the initial uphill struggle to get things up and running, it was much smoother... but I know heaps of people who still have little or no data at the end of their first year, and still little idea of the direction their PhD is going to take. I know it's tough (been there!), but keep going & you'll get there :o) I've had setbacks by months at a time, but it goes in fits and spurts. Good luck :o)

P

i feel exactly the same. i'm 6 months in and lack motivation and feel extremely isolated- especially because its summer and there's very few people about. I've started to reconsider my options and to be honest I think that if I feel like this now I don't want to put myself through this for another 2.5 years. I think you need to ask yourself a few questions i.e why did you want to do this PhD, where can you see it leading and whether your personality is suited to working in an environment where you have to be self-reliant, self-motivated and happy to work on your own. It's also a question of do you have the real drive and interest in your research to pull yourself out of things. If you do then maybe set yourself small tasks that you know you can acheive that will get you back in to the swing of things. If you don't I'd speak to your supervisor and see what your options are (I'm taking this option by the way ).

T

I've found the PhD experiance extreemly difficult and lonely, its probably the most depressing thing I've ever done and there have been a number of occasions on which I've seriouly concidered quiting. I actually applied to joint the army at one stage (end of year 1 start of year 2) if I'd passed the medical (to much damage to lower spine) then I'd have already left. As it is I've stuck it out to the bitter end and I'm still as unsure about both doing the Phd and the validity of my work.

I was told by a close friend that as well as being a great intelect you really need to be a bit analy-retentive to do a PhD. Perhaps she was right.

Tiggs

S

Hmmm, anal-y retentive huh? Maybe ;o) Well a lot of PhD students are perfectionists - which is part of the problem! I think it helps if your not, or you put yourself under too much pressure.
But also I have to agree that if you are going through a tough time with your PhD you have to ask yourself the question whether you're passionate about your subject, or have other reasons for wanting to put yourself through the roller-coaster ride (e.g. career progression). It was easy for me - I love my subject, so that got me through the lows. It's also easier to get out after only a year than further on - and write it up as a masters so you would loose nothing.

R

hey boys and girls. its so conforting to hear the words of support people give on the website. all ive ever wanted to do was resrach as a career. i did student placements as an undergraduate and published a paper. i enjoyed it so much. The first year of my phd has been so depressing, stressful and unproductive. ive very little results and am not too sure about the research direction. i agree that the most important thing to ask is do you love your subject enough to go through another 2-3 years of this? can you see your self having a career in this feild? having thought about it for a while im certain i do want to do research, but i think i made a bad choice of phd project. preferably id like to take a masters, take time out and have a second shot at a phd.

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