i never thought rejection would hurt sooo much. ive recently pulled the plug on my PhD at one of the oxbridge universities. i was told by my advisor that is was possible to change PhD. i enquired about a particular project, but was told after a few emails that he didnt want to take the risk of a transfer Phd. He said this without ever meeting me or examining the circumstances of my departure. does anyone else think this is unfair. this is my career and i just get the impression that nobody cares

Is it about caring? And if it is, he probably cares more about his career that your career. Without sounding harsh its understandable really don't you think.

Hi rjb,

I am sorry to hear regarding your story. You must feel very disappointed after this experience. Have you got people around you with whom you can talk? It would be good to express your frustration and anger?:

hey, yes, rejection is terrible. it's happened to me often regarding funding, and you'd think you get used to it, but you don't. it hurts every time. i've heard of postdocs and senior lecturers who are devasted when they get any kind of rejection, myself, everytime i want to curl up in a ball, quit, i feel terrible for a while.
what i'm saying is that it is totally normal to feel really bad about such rejections. they are never fair. there is nothing you can do about it.
be angry! be upset. let it all out. and then get over it. put the anger aside, calmly consider your options, and go "onwards and upwards"! wherever that might be. (it will be hard to reach the calm if you don't really allow yourself the anger and upset first)